The Holiday Fallout

I am reminded WHY I have made the shifts that I have.

Honestly, today I am feeling a vast mix of emotions, truthfully.

I felt so prepared for our one get together, my husband and I made our fresh goat cheese to take, along with crackers I knew I would be able to have. However after that, when not eating at home its HARD. VERY very challening.

Hey, Im here for it, I can do hard things.

But its literally stepping out of the majority of norms and being 100% ok with this. Being ok with it literally also means not eating about 90% of the “prepared” meals at a get-together. Which also means things I used to love and enjoy – well I guess enjoy to a certain extent. I was still running to the bathroom at some point, I just didn’t know why.

Even “everyday things” such as meat and potatoes… what was it seasoned with and finished with. Yup something this simple affects me and then sadly, can snowball. Garlic, ugh its so sad to say, but nope. Great big hard no on that.

Its one thing to already feel out of place, because I have chosen to shift in such a strong way to honor my body and HOW I feel, but to literally feel like I cannot eat hardly anything. Which also then makes me feel horribly emotional because some of our family members are REALLY good cooks… sigh!

In the heat of the moment to say, no milk is ok, to literally not inconvenience anyone else or feel out of place. I paid for it. Almost instantly. Which truthfully sucked, but I did “choose” it because I was asked if I would be ok and I found myself falling back into that ‘people pleasing’ pattern and now am paying the full price.

I am grateful, truly grateful to have a partner in life who when I said to him I am done tonight, he picked up where I couldn’t. When I knew I had to go to bed, he didn’t once balk and knew if I said I needed that, I needed it.