This week, Tina hosts the challenge called Live and Learn. She writes, “It’s often said that as we age it’s important to continue to maintain our social lives, to stay healthy both physically and mentally, and to challenge ourselves to learn new things.” You can read her entire challenge post here. Thank you Photobyjohnbo.com for a great summary!
A beautiful quote she shared, that also hits my heart in such a tender way…
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.”Mahatma Gandhi
Live and learn, some of the best ways I have learned in life, has been living real life, at times these life lessons are incredible, amazing, delicious even, and at others, these life lessons can feel like you are dragged through the mud.
As I was reading this weeks challenge, my heart sank back to the fall of 2020, when my world felt like it came crashing down. Receiving a phone call that my husband had fell off a roof, and literally only knowing that, as I raced to get to him.
There is a noticeable void in my photos from a couple days before the accident to our son’s mock Gr 8 Diploma presentation pick up from the parking lot the day before this image was taken, Oct 31st. This image, sums up how I was feeling at that moment. The darkness, almost complete, with a glimmer of light.
Photos have always been an indication of me, of how Im doing, of my mental health. When I am good, my folders are so full – not just of people, but nature and animals. November 2020, 22 photos. It felt like I was in the dark a lot, but I tried to always look for that light. As much as during that time I do see the void, that has been a part of my live and learn, even in the times of darkness, when you do not know if or when you will see that light… reach for the camera. Allow the rest of the world to just fall away and be.
I had some deep life lessons at this time, although it was my husband who was physically broken and healing, I felt the heaviness of everything, our kids were being yanked in and out of school, our business was deemed essential and me as a wife and mom, was pulling major double, triple, possibly quadruple duty at times. My own emotional and physical health began to take a toll and yet, who has the heart to tell your broken husband that?
Nature became even more healing.
At a time when even to be in nature, we were banned from other places, it was a weird life and world we were living in and one I never, ever want to return to.
Our family’s ethics and values were realigned in a very prominent and strong way. Pulling us more together than ever before. Spending even more time at home but also together.
7 months later… he was in for surgery again after the medical grade metal broke in his leg. Sadly for us, it was compounded by a misdiagnosis from a medical doctor. The irony when we saw the xray and both could see where it was broken… a week after the doctor told him he was doing too much and to go home and take this prescription for muscle relaxers. (fast forward to January 2025 when I fell and hit my head, the same doctor was on call and never showed his face to me or my husband when I was being treated only by a nurse…). After surgery #2 it was at home care – by guess who… ME! Yup thats right, the failing medical system was training people with zero medical training to do wound care and IV at home! This intensified my stress in such big ways. He required IV 3 times a day every 6 hours. This photo below was before we knew he was walking on a broken leg, not only was the medical grade metal broke, his bone had shifted and two screws were touching. To get into the appointment at the surgeons that day, a week and a half after seeing the doctor, they weren’t going to allow me in there either, talk about a jolt to the nervous system in SUCH horrible ways when dealing with the medical system during the 2020’s. The compassion and care was instantly removed. You were not a person with feelings, you were simply a number and as much as I wish it has cleared by now, the anger will take time to dissipate. Being treated with little respect, asking questions even after my husbands accident when they were so “gracious” to allow me 15 min with him, the nurse wouldn’t even look at me until I said, Ok so one of you will be coming home with him to look after him then… I will never forget the look of ignorance being shot at me when she said Ah no you will have to pick him up and look after him, Ok great so you can answer my questions then. I never, ever ever want to return to a time like this ever again!
I went back to my photography even more as he had his 2nd surgery the May long weekend 2021, thankfully there was a beautiful park near the hospital where I had to drop him off, I shared my sorrows with nature, with the birds, the bees and the raccoons up the tree as I was not allowed in the hospital, again with my husband. I am still healing from the PTSD of that, after his accident sitting in the hospital bawling begging to see him for over 4 yrs and then being told by the doctor on call that he “pulled some strings” so I could have 15 min with him…
I was learning that even if I cannot fix something, its ok to do something FOR ME.
Live and Learn was massively significant for me at this time. To learn to stand up for me, for my family and not be afraid of what someone may say. To choose to use my voice constructively. That it IS OK to speak up and not live in fear.
That even if projects sit unfinished in our home, our health is more important. This was a harder adjustment for both my husband and I, trust that things will happen as they need to. Truthfully, we are still in limbo with some things. Its both equally frustrating and annoying. Acceptance.
To look beyond the obvious and be open to what you may discover.
Live and learn at how quickly our kids would suddenly be forced to grow up during these 2020-2022 years… deep gratitude for the photos that I can look back on at a time in our life when I do not have many memories due to the stress. The bonding between the kids, between us as a family, was deep.
Keep reaching for that light…
We sank even deeper into the unknown, the out of control, the chaos that life can bring and in between deep breaths, learned to embrace.
Surrender, is what living and learning taught us.
Even if you are moving at a snails pace, you are still making progress forward.
At times its much more important to get below the surface.
Just as we thought things were smoothing out, we had more life lessons that we needed to learn.
I learned to look for the light in ALL situations, even those that seem so bleak you can’t even get beyond that initial thought. Its taught me, to trust me first, to trust my intuition, my husbands intuition and our children’s. In a deep trusting way. To find MY people and to always honor myself first. Its been a journey, deep at times, simmering on the surface at others, all the while healing…
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”
Ben Franklin
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