Flip The Switch

These past few months has been a real test of my emotional health. A time when we have still been living through a massive renovation to our home and yet I was able to give myself permission to lean into me.

The past 3 months have had more than our share of ups and downs. The last 2-3 weeks has really tugged on me and my emotions. I leaned in more.

I leaned in and tonight it hit me… Flip the fucking switch!

The past few weeks have all been external, things completely outside of my control. Literally nothing I can do to change it. As much as I wanted.

So what can I do? How can I make a difference. How can I move through these feelings, which I will admit the past week have been fueled with bitterness and anger.

Be ME!

Lean into me, encourage my kids to do the same by being themselves.

Ita crazy wasy to get pulled into the negativity. Yup 2020 in general is… hmmm how best to describe this shit show that the world is currently. Yup bittersweet truth.

So flip that switch!

I am SO thankful that I’ve learned how to naturally improve my health and in doing so, ripple effect on my husband and kids.

Do I agree with what’s being pushed? Nope. I am a firm believer (now) in being empowered in your life. Not based on stats based on how you FEEL! This is SO key! For years my health suffered, I also suffered in silence for most of it. I thought this was how I was supposed to feel, part of “being a woman”… until I challenged that narrative.

Exactly what shifted my health, then and now.

It’s not a “comfortable” atmosphere to “run downtown”… so I’ve become very comfortable within our home and property. Amongst the renos of course… again what’s within my control?!

This weekend, I felt even more validated, as much as “this sucks”, I’ve shifted my perspective on alot. Amongst the highs and lows I’ve learned more about me, my kids, my husband. We have slowed life down to a beautiful pace. To truly ENJOY our space. A blessing.

Also a strong voice who can share on how I continue to strengthen myself up and its actually so simple!

Tonight while enjoying the fresh air and sun on the deck, listening to music snuggled up with my girl, planning our homemade dinner we were going to create together. I was reminded it wasn’t that long ago that we were rushing before and after school/work. Many evenings we didn’t have a chance to reconnect together before the next day began rolling in.

It wasn’t that long ago, 3.5 years when I decided, amongst a “busy” season in our life (Janaury… husband is a heating tech, we both work full time, kids in hockey, skating) to shift our healthy practices and eating. I grew up with home cooking, although each of us kids had 1 “thing” for each of us, it seemed like a bit slower lifestyle than today. Obviously technology has helped shift that.

My husband commented this weekend how we have been eating really good. We have. Because the majority of our food has been created at home and not from a box. Yes the first few weeks I grabbed the kids some KD and naturals hot dogs. As a “treat”, their lives had just been turned upside down. We have ordered take out the odd Wednesday nights too, a nice break. But other than that we have been home and cooking. Alot of times in the kitchen together, the kid will join us, get the tunes on or hanging on the deck grilling. We have enjoyed SO many meals out here it’s been awesome.

It also reminded me what an awesome opportunity EVERYONE has right now!

Our gut health affects our mental health in a very big way! It’s very true that “you are what you eat”!

So tonight, as much as it annoyed me to have to cover my face to go in the grocery store, I’m allowed to feel that way, I reminded myself it was a very short moment in my day, to get back home and enjoy time on the deck with my loves. Flip that switch.

What do I have control over? What I buy, how I spend my time, the products we allow in our home. Falling back in love with my passions, people and place! Each one of us is unique, take a break from social and rediscover the true you, outside of other influences! It’s ironic, how everything falls into place.

So oil up, you and your diffuser! We’ve got Wild Orange, Frankincense and Ginger in the diffuser tonight! I love walking into our kitchen and smelling a beautiful breath of fresh air, chemically free! A major part of our living and what contributes to our health!

I am excited to share more of some of my FAV tips for shifting my life… use this time, no use this year to be the true shift that your life was missing!✌

A Faceless Society

This week Wellington Dufferin Guelph Public Health Unit issued an “order”.

Dr. Nicola Mercer has issued an order under Section 22 of the Health Protection and Promotion Act requiring face coverings be worn in commercial establishments

I have had a challenge accepting this order, 3 months in when our numbers have continued to decline. There are presently 15 Covid-19 cases in Wellington County. Yet this order was issued making it mandatory to wear a face mask in any “commercial establishment”. I called public health to get further clarification on this order as it stated everyone within the establishment must wear masks at all times.

I received a phone call back, thankfully. I asked about having to wear masks, everyone, all day if in a commercial establishment. He told me that was correct. I ask him about my own specific situation where 6 of us worked in the building, all more than 6 feet apart, he said yes we would all have to wear masks.

Businesses were also told if they did not follow this new order they could face a $5,000 fine PER day for not complying. I asked about this, he told me it would be handled like any by-law someone would have to make a complaint.

I asked about people with breathing issues, anxiety, being claustrophobic, and any other health issue that a mask would present challenges for. I was told they did not have to wear a mask and the county hoped it wouldn’t cause any altercations at businesses. I asked him what people needed to “prove” they didn’t have to wear anything. He told me nothing. They did not have to prove to anyone because their health is their own private business.

Yet the fear that has been pushed on people IS having customers turned away.

I have seen over the course of the past 3 months many people wearing masks and more not. It used to be a personal choice. With socially distancing required, completely understandable. Actually it made grocery shopping so much more enjoyable. Having time to pack my groceries vs another order coming down and feeling very rushed. My only complaint about the hygiene requirements put on businesses is the massive amounts of bleach and chemical cleaners being used. By the time I pack my groceries, my eyes are burning. I feel for the teens and adults working in these situations and breathing that in.

I asked the man from public health if he was wearing a mask, because it didnt sound like it. He told me he wasn’t, because their office was exempt, they could all socially distance. I reminded him of my previous question, about our office, that we all were more than 6 feet away. He said that didn’t matter, we would have to follow the rules in the order or face a potential $5,000 fine.

I politely thanked him for calling and advised I would need to end the phone call.

Thursday the order was updated to say that “employee only” areas where you could socially distance would not be required to wear masks.

A day later they make this switch. Makes sense, we have been working the entire 3 months and are all healthy, thankfully.

Friday they updated the order again with more FAQ. To include the places where you do not need to wear a mask… ironically a good portion of the list are government run… interesting and does not make sense!

Yet Ontario Public Health stated that masks were not effective outside of a non-healthcare setting. See key point 1st bullet point. I asked the man from public health who I spoke with about this and he said he couldn’t comment.

We will continue supporting our local stores because our community needs us right now. I purposely did my running around on Thursday at lunch and after work.

I personally do not like this “order”. We have been adhering to the socially distancing in stores, only going when we need to, shopping local (so important). Having masks now mandated will give people a false sense of safety and many masks I have seen being worn in the past couple days aren’t being worn “properly” or are being fiddled with while being worn. Given what Ontario Public Health put out, as a recommendation, but that it’s not beneficial in non-healthcare settings, makes sense. If you choose to wear one, that’s your choice, if you don’t and still socially distance, also your choice. Threatening businesses with a significant fine of $5,000 per day isn’t fair at all, especially now. Its putting businesses in a very tough position when in my opinion, our businesses around here have been doing an awesome job at limiting customers, hand washing/sanitizer, encouraging socially distancing.

All of which has increased costs for businesses as well. I mentioned this to the man from public health. He didn’t feel businesses should be experiencing any “increased costs” for meeting the government requirements?! Seriously?! Many of the businesses have to have a dedicated person or people at the doors. Additional PPE for employees and customers.

My other genuine concern, that I truly feel in my heart is being a faceless society. No more smiling faces with everyone in masks.

This honestly makes me sad. We have been doing well for 3 months to keep numbers low, majority using common sense, working together as a community. Many say this is the “new norm” which I honestly hope not. Yes our health is important but so is our mental health, going out and seeing people, smiling, chatting that is part of any community. I truly hope this is not our new “norm” and genuinely worry it could become that way if everyone just goes along because the government says so?! Remember when you were a child, children question EVERYTHING! It’s how they learn. It’s how everyone learns. Many adults stop asking questions, just go with the flow, do not want to “rock the boat” or question the narrative.

Why?!

Do we not have a right as citizens living in this free country to voice our opinions, expect answers and facts. We totally do. Especially with how many times the WHO and CDC have changed their stances on Covid-19, how its spread, if you can get it from hard surfaces, which was changed after 2 months of pushing massive fear into people.

Grey county has recommended, KW I read has recommended and doesn’t feel it’s fair to threaten fines. I worry this will hurt our local businesses even more and could potentially hurt people’s mental and physical health while also creating alot of unnecessary garbage. Yes there are reusable masks but if they arent washed after every single use, they are contaminated. Same with touching your mask while wearing it. I agree with previous comments, false sense of security.

If we had massively high numbers here, perhaps I may feel differently, but we do not thank God. We have been working, thankfully, and shopping in our community the past 3 months and thankfully are healthy. The first month, honestly took a tole on my mental health. Going into stores and seeing so many masks, gloves, no one talking to each other, it was pure fear. As an empath I feel this fearful energy and it was too much.

I would love to hear the government supporting people in healthier living options/suggestions. Pushing masks, bleaching everything numerous times and hand sanitizer can have negative effects on our health.

There has been SO much judgment over the past few days. People turning against each other for their OPINION. Which everyone is entitled to. Feeling like if you do not agree with what the government says you have no opinion. It’s been horribly negative. That if people do not or can not wear a mask that theybare choosing to put other people at risk, that they are selfish, and feel entitled.

I for some reason, feel like I am preaching when I speak of my health. However that’s my real life experience, which I transformed myself. I am grateful for what the medical system in Canada is able to do for us, when needed. It’s also SO important, now more than ever to advocate for our own health and literally take that into our own hands. The reality is, the government pushes things through and can later retract, or not, but that’s ok?! Many products being sold are detrimental to our health, I know this because I experienced this. This is exactly why I am PROUD to question. Why I know I MUST question. Had I previously just listened to what I was being told, my health would still be at risk, probably worse than ever.

I literally took a chance and stepped into my own journey. It’s an individual choice everyone must make. We have even shifted our parenting style as well.

Lean in and be ok with questioning. Anyone who judges you or speaks negative of you for doing, that’s their own internal battle they must face on their own. Focus on you, stay in your own lane. It can be lonely at times, but are you here to please everyone else!? No!!! we must take care of and love ourselves first!

Covid-19 Lockdown Harming Health More Than Its Helping

Take 5 min and read this article…

COVID-19 LOCKDOWN IS NOW HARMING HEALTH MORE THAN ITS HELPING

Just one snipit…
“…And two months in, we are at a stage where the harm from lockdown is starting to look like it is going to be greater than the harm from COVID…”

Yet we are 3 months in… 3 months of children out of school, yes they have life learning, and I’m proud my kids have fully embraced that, however they have also had fear pushed on them simply because schools are closed and they are not allowed to go.

The government has literally grounded us all to our homes, cancelled some VERY necessary surgery’s and pushed massive fear into everyone. This is NOT ok! This IS affecting people so much more than having Covid-19. I can admit, the first few weeks I fell into the fear, I was scared as hell, but honestly right from the beginning, right from that moment of walking through our office and hearing over the radio that schools would be cancelled for 2 additional weeks after March Break, I thought WTF is actually going on?! … and I still allow myself to question that and you should too.

I am a strong believer that everyone must do their own research and not simply be told something is fact, which is also why life learning is SO important for our education, its SO important for our health too!

The MANY commercials the government is pushing is pure fear, they say nothing about how to strengthen your health, it’s all fear based to stay away from people, to stay home, to wear gloves and masks… even when outside in the fresh air?! 🤷‍♀️

I was at a store yesterday, had to wait in line outside, that’s fine. They have one person under a covered tent asking people how they feel, the tent is great because they are shielded from the sun. There is caution tape all the way around it as that is their area… the person is MORE than 6′ from all customers, I never saw her come in contact with anyone, able to enjoy the fresh air… from behind a plastic face shield… 😕🤦‍♀️

Now suddenly… even though we are “not allowed” to be in groups of 5 or more people, we seem to be allowed to gather in the hundreds and thousands for protests?! I fully support what IS being protested, 100%… but can you see the conflict here?!

What this feels like, is the government is telling us all ‘you dont know how to be healthy or clean so you must listen to what we tell you to do’… what happened to common sense?! In all aspects of “this” it seems to have gone completely out the window.

And I am not in any way minimizing the work of our health care workers, not at all. But there is a way to live in harmony with common sense, natural health and modern medicine… its not just one way or the highway.

We need to feel that we are “allowed” and supported to advocate for OUR Health!
The government has allowed many of the products allowed to be on store shelves and in fast food restaurants today that are a REAL threat to our health. I am speaking purely of MY OWN experience when I say I had multiple male medical professionals push pill after pill on me that “would help” with my “womens health issues”. Given with zero follow up, that was entirely on me. I am so proud of myself when I finally took a stand and said NO more! I am grateful for the women in medicine who supported my decisions and UNDERSTOOD. Our own health, is up to US to advocate for, not for someone else to choose our options for us, to be held at mercy of the medical system. Had I listened, I know I wouldn’t be where I am. And this is how we choose to raise our kids. Endocrine disruptors are a massive concern for our health, taking pill after pill is NOT the answer, living a life of “convenience”, hearing various commercials about living a “busy” lifestyle and how x, y or z could help you essentially take the thinking and preparing out of your daily life so you can keep “being busy”… Shifting our lifestyle IS, making healthy choices IS, supporting our body with vitamins and minerals IS, eating healthy non processed foods IS, fresh air and sunshine IS, being with loved ones IS, being at work IS, being at school IS (but I now firmly believe this needs a massive shift as well now…) being educated on WHY these things I’ve mentioned ARE a very real threat to our health…  and more common than Covid-19.

Start now, not when the government gives permission, because they most likely never will. Big pharma wants them pushing pills, wants people in ill health, that’s truth. Natural health products have been under a microscope of judgment yet look at the shit being sold on store shelves. Johnson and Johnson products is one… marketed to parents of babies and young children and NOW… they have pulled all products from North America because of the law suits, because it’s been proven they ARE a health risk!!! Yet they were allowed to sell for years. By the government. Yet health products are scrutinized… time to wake up!

Read the article and decipher for yourself. My family and I wont, and haven’t been for a while now, be living in fear. ✌

A Hidden Opportunity…

What an opportunity we have all been given, if we take that approach.

In my opinion, what should be happening during Covid-19 with people being forced to be in their homes, more time alone, more time with whoever they live with…

That they will honestly take this time forced upon us to not only dig a little deeper personally, but also to dig a little deeper into what HEALTH and HAPPINESS really means to them. What everyday LIVING and LIFE means.

To understand your body more, to feel what it feels, not just suppress and continue moving forward, to research, like it’s the most important research paper you will ever write.

To make subtle, yet large steps in your daily living. LEARN about your body. Learn what makes you feel like shit. Learn about side effects and the repercussions on your health. Learn to advocate for you and your family. Find your voice.

To be ok with facing past emotions that may rock you and question a LOT!

And that’s ok!

Lean into however you are feeling and know that it’s alright. It’s understandable, however that is. Everyone’s situation and level of stress is different. We all need to be compassionate. If you need to ask for help, even if an ear to talk to, reach out to someone you trust. Honor yourself by honoring your feelings. Progress vs Perfection, Always!

When we make shifts in our life with our energy, we can rise up.

When we make shifts in our eating habits and the foods we consume and bring in our homes, we can rise up.

When we drink more water each day, we can rise up.

When we shine a light on our own darkness, we can rise up.

When we clean up the cleaning and personal care products in our home, we can rise up.

When we feel comfortable in our living space and clothes, a true reflection of who we really are, we can rise up.

When we allow ourselves to feel our feelings, we can rise up.

When we are in true alignment with our self, our soul, we rise up and thrive!

This, in my opinion is what the government could be using this as an opportunity to educate on healthy living. Real healthy living, making a shift in the product standards allowed within our province and country. Starting from the inside out, to transforms our lives and along the path collectively improving our health. With stronger and healthier homes and bodies we can fight off the virus that much better. Yes this virus has been deadly for some and my heart hurts for them. There has been even more people recover and that is promising. By improving our health, this will support healing in a variety of ways mentally and physically!

Push Love Into The World

With all that’s going in the world I am reminded to be grateful, to be proud and compassionate – first to myself.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in this BS that seems to be in the world at this moment, BUT so much more important to REALLY LOVE on ourselves, first, so we can PUSH that LOVE back out into the world.

This weekend we laid the deck! I friggin love it! It was the missing piece to our outdoor living! It’s still not finished, but its progress! Sneak peek ✌

Check out that pile of bricks beside the deck… after work tonight the kids and I as a team moved every single one of those bricks from under the deck, to where they sit now ready to be cleaned. A job I was honestly not looking forward to at all, but one that had to get done. One of those tasks that if you just do it, it goes by much easier than sitting and thinking (stressing) about it. #progressvsperfection

My day started off with a rustling in my office… I knew that sound! I’ve heard it in my house before… mouse! I thought I trapped him and got rid of him (saw a bag moving), but alas he got away and later surprised me while answering a call from a customer 🤦‍♀️🤣! I find the spiritual meanings behind things very fascinating, so I looked up the mouse… interesting!

I’m grateful for me, that I am able to put my energy into our home, to not see it as daunting but as an adventure, building our dream home, creating our nest and also um moving and cleaning bricks, among the other tasks is a freaking workout, damn it actually feels good. To find the enjoyment in the “everyday” tasks like dishes and laundry, lol may always be a #workinprogress, but I so love organized and clean! #aplaceforeverything #everythinginitsplace

One step at a time.
What’s most important is enjoying the moment. An hour and a half work on the house, the rest of the evening to relax… and enjoy our space. It’s the little things, that truly are the big things ✌ 🥰

#heartearsandeyeswideopen

Everything is Meditation

I am on day 14 in Gabby Bernstein’s 21 Day Meditation Challenge.

This morning when I looked up the meditation, I initially was annoyed. There wasn’t a meditation to listen to…

Reading this I am thinking, WTF Gabby, you are supposed to be trying to help us calm our minds even more and in the process gain more peace. Goodness, especially this week. Can I be honest, it’s a value I greatly appreciate. I took a step back from scrolling social. It’s bad enough that they are now selectively censoring, even with natural health, but the negativity and division is just so sad. One day I came home from work, I think it was Wednesday, and at my phone down for the evening. It felt awesome. I felt more present, in touch with me, even doing the “everyday evening things”. I began hearing clips on the news and had to look it up. My goodness, our world needs a massive shift. Massive. A collective massive shift. Removing any hatred, violence, abuse, division… I digress.

So I read this email and think… wtf. I have “things to do”. So I go about doing them, at first ready to help my husband and son with deck things, until I realized it was raining and they had it planned out what they were doing. So I came inside.

I had the most glorious couple of hours. In our house, cleaning and tidying up. Enjoying being in our space and honoring it. I put a cleansing essential oil blend in the diffuser of Lemongrass, White Fir (can use Siberian Fir) and Wild Orange. Made some slight, but significant shifts for better flow in our household. All while listening to Joel Osteen over the google mini, which… anyone else have one that in the past month has a mind of it’s own? Seriously, I am curious!

Holy F!!! It hit me… Gabby’s email this morning. Taking care of our home, our living space, which is a reflection of us, was completely warming me up! I felt calm, at peace, flowing with grace and ease.

Gabby, thank you for this beautiful reminder. Its helped me shift my visions again, fine tune if you will, of the flow in our home, the importance for our mental health, our everyday living and most of all everything has a place, and everything in its place. I love that we are working towards this and making great strides!

Feel so accomplished today. Within our home (cleaning), assisting with the deck (renos), grabbing some groceries (menu planning) and taking some macro photography and processing the images (creativity)! All before we are going to enjoy cooking on our grill on the deck to enjoy dinner with my family (love and connection)!

Trees in blossom near the Post Office

If one thing Covid-19 has taught us, it’s to realign with our priorities, wants and needs and to be strong with our voice. Most of all though, the importance of figuring out what provides you the feeling of flowing in life with grace and ease. Living in alignment with my true values and honoring me.

See more of my artistic creativity at www.flickr.com/zmijaourmomentsintime

Creativity, whatever that is for each of us, is so important to our mental health and wellbeing! Even if its 5 or 10 minutes journaling. ✌

Be The Light

As you SHINE with more LIGHT and AUTHENTICITY…

SEEING the LIGHT in others becomes EASIER too!

I had an awesome zoom call last night. An opportunity that I totally feel I was gifted and am grateful for. With a woman who’s photographs and life journey I have been enjoying over the years and who is also a distant relative.

We spoke of life, positives and negatives, challenges and frustrations, goals and dreams. The importance of always being proud to shine your light! This word the most completely resonated with me.

Shine your light! Even those who may react, push back or come off as negative, will benefit from your light. Even if just a little bit gets in.

The truth of life is, we ALL have shit to work through, every single one of us. The sooner we shine that light, realize that life truly is what I choose to make it, how I choose to react to any challenges or stresses, how I honor my body, how I face any challenges and know that its progress, not perfection.

To focus on my VALUES.

Because that is what is truest to my heart. That is when I am most in alignment and life flows with grace and ease.

The Investment of Getting Healthy

Getting healthy and staying healthy is an investment in your health.

I can admit, Im like many others who has limiting belief’s of my own that used to hold me back. “I can’t do it”, “I wont loose the weight”, “I would have to give up ‘good’ food”… “I will have to spend money on me” (new clothes, bras, underwear).

Yes, getting healthy, making that healthy shift in your life is without a doubt an investment.

I’ve never been a girl who loves shopping. The crowds, fads, fashion just has never peaked a passion in me. I enjoy clothes for their purpose, much like my shoes, which I have a small collection of.

One thing I had to prepare my mindset for was the results of getting healthy, which ultimately meant losing weight, and thus having to replace clothes, multiple times. I aim to live a purposeful life, replacing clothing that is technically in great shape, was a hurdle, but one I am proud I overcame.

Investing in my health meant making vitamins, minerals and omegas a priority.

Investing time into researching, learning, listening, leaning into myself to shift.

Investing money in clothes, bras and underwear. Being bigger in the chest has been a challenge of mine my entire life, in my early college days, I remember crying on the phone to my now husband because the bras I needed were well over $100…each. All my life I can honestly say it’s been a journey in learning to love the body I was given. At 18 I had a breast reduction, not long later, they grew back. 7-8 1/2 years later I had both our children, my weight fluctuated quite a bit prior to having kids and in the years after. In the past 3 1/2 years by shifting my life naturally, I have shed and kept off 60 lbs.

So I feel the BEST I ever have in my life with my health, honestly. In these past 3 1/2 yrs, I have felt faced with this additional growth opportunity… 60lbs is significant, and within that loss I’ve had to release and purchase new clothes many times.

I am at this ‘time’ again. The bras I have limped along, the ones I bought probably 2 or even 2 1/2 years ago, are well beyond my comfort and band size. This is when these emotions get stirred up again. The investment alone is significant and the process of sizing is an emotional trigger.

Overall, would I go back to how I felt emotionally and physically 3 1/2 years ago, NO! That’s a very hard no.

I am trying out a new bra company, that also has unique sizing, wireless which is cool, anyone big busted knows wires can either provide amazing support or being a major pain! The process however and wanting to feel comfortable can be overwhelming. Many tears have been shed, with this pandemic we are currently living this has presented a whole new challenge, and reminder… to not put off what is important, that I do have time!

Not long before this pandemic was announced I was in Guelph, I had a doctor specialist appointment and drove past one lingerie place twice… I saw it, knew I should stop (being unique means any mall type lingerie stores are completely off the table for my uniqueness 😉). While driving past to head home, I looked over and said “next time, it’s fine, I will be fine”… knowing that to replace said bras I would be at minimum $90-120 each, true story and what also tends to feeds my fear.

Live and learn. I ALWAYS have more than enough time. Always!

So as I embrace this shift, I have found new appreciation for my strapless investment for my sisters wedding. Strapless and having a large chest isn’t always, no it’s not the more desirable daily situation… BUT when you remember that strapless bra came with attachable straps, that my friends is a game changer!!!

I started out yesterday wearing one of my new bras, which I will give a review once I’ve given them all a fair shot. However only made it until lunch time as I arrived home in tears. I was reminded why its OK to appreciate my bra I had invested in as it completely shifted my day. Last night I washed the other ones (30 day wash and wear guarantee) and tried them on after… they had loosened! I wasn’t feeling as squished as I felt previously. Even in the bikini top I bought, that I am totally going to embrace this summer either in this size or the next up 😉!

I am once again feeling ok, yes this is going to “cost” me, to be real, upwards of $500 or more. Which is the reality of my shift in healthiness and one I must be ok with rising above.

For years, I let this financial cost hold me back many times, trying to skimp to “save”, when really it may have saved me some $, but cost me comfort. Same goes for underwear. If I can be real again, sure alot of it looks nice but most women know true comfort, especially after kids, is 100% cotton. Another challenging hurdle Ive had as I used to get my bras and underwear from Additionelle. I highly recommend. If you are 36″ band and up with large cups! Years ago, my husband, bless him, found their collection and they were my affordable and comfortable go to for years! Rather than $90-120 per bra I was able to get them on sale for $50 or less! In the past year I’ve tried a few different brands of underwear and unfortunately none were like my 100% cotton (and just because it says the gusset is 100%… doesn’t mean jack if the fabric underneath that isn’t! So I’ve been limping through my underwear as well and am hoping these ones I found and am waiting on to come in will work. Another emotional, financial hurdle to overcome!

It’s all a growth experience and one I am thankful for, but also appreciative of. A great reminder that sometimes by scrimping and living in fear we can actually end up wasting alot more time and money than had I just invested in the first place! Also much like healthy food, I’ve noticed when I’m eating healthy food, I eat way less than if I was eating junk!

Our bodies, our health and our homes, these are what we must be investing our time and money into now. To truly BE comfortable. Whatever that means to me or you! 🙌 🥰 🙏

Stand tall, even if at times it feels like standing alone, you are unique in your own beautiful way! 💕 A photo of our beautiful apple tree in bloom in our back yard. Pamela McLellan Zmija

Sunday Morning On The Deck

Beautiful morning on the deck!
It’s not even finished yet and I am LOVING our new space! A space that we went back and forth on many times, was it worth it, did we really need it… what it all came down to was me and my “worry” and fear of spending more money. Should we pull it back, do something different, did we really need a “bigger” bedroom, did we really need to do any of this… then one day I finally said enough! We had been working on our home plans for years, had even considered selling and building, yet much of what we were looking at was very similar to what we had, just with our own tweaking after living in our space. Just over a year ago, I leaned in even more. All in Divine timing. What’s meant to happen, will happen. Just trust in the process. Let go of trying to control the timeline. When inquiring about a permit for Spring 2020, our current permit was issued and although at the time I was feeling stressed beyond belief, I am SO thankful! Had we waited until this year, I can honestly say I doubt we would have moved forward with our plans. I could have fallen into that fear and worry mindset-which is exactly what hit me when the “pandemic” was announced. In reality, yes its added time to our mortgage, yes it’s been stressful at times, BUT its money and time WELL spent on our home. I am feeling SO grateful for our custom-to-us nest 🙏😍🏡! When you think you’ve leaned in to yourself, lean in a little more! Push past the ego and into your true self 💕 You are worth it! Let go of all fear! 🙌

My Life As Art

I’ve been feeling a bit more on edge lately. With school recently announced that its over for this school year, I am feeling grateful, but also very conscious of what that means for our kids in a totally different way.

I have read of the new CDC Guidelines for re-opening a school and it makes me feel sick. Our innocent children who should be laughing, playing, having fun while also learning are suddenly going to return to a stark cold atmosphere with very little human interaction.

This upsets me a great deal. Adds come confusion to my life. I know how I feel about this, so how do we make this work if needed? Not what I need to have figured out right now, but to be conscious and clear on my beliefs and opinion.

This is teaching us to find our true inner voice. To dive deep and find out what being authentic really means.

This week we also rescued a couple baby Robin’s from our soffit area of our house. I moved the nest down 2 feet and suddenly became a robin mama! Not something I was planning on, but something that did upset me. As soon as I saw the mama Robin on the nest one late morning I knew… she had babies! Those Robin’s build nests quick, they also abandon them quick too! For the past few days we cared for these Robin’s. All the while looking for a wildlife rehabilitation center for them to go. We put them in their nest completely intact, into a shoe box with a light. It was some very nerve wracking days for me, it however ended with some amazing people coming together for the sake of this innocent bird. Today at lunch one baby robin went to the rehab center and has responded well. Unfortunately we lost one baby Robin, this morning. I felt relief that at least we saved one. I am also exhausted. I barely slept last night because I knew they weren’t doing well.

When I came home after work I knew I needed a little me time. So I grabbed my camera and went out into the yard. It was so quiet, peaceful. I listened to the buzzing of the bees, the birds chirping and singing.

I was purposeful with my time and focusing on taking “the” shot. I set up my shots with much more precision, shooting in manual allows more freedom. A slower pace, enjoying the moment, the art of my subject that I am taking a photo of.

Apple Blossom – May 21, 2020 – Pamela Zmija

Another reminder that it’s ok to take a step back.

Leaves – May 21, 2020 – Pam Zmija

Check out more images in my GALLERY!

We had taken chicken out of the freezer for dinner. It stayed in the fridge longer than what it needed and was still a bit frozen. I could have completely set aside my desire to go outside and enjoy some me time with my camera to cook dinner and clean the kitchen… or I could lean in, surrender and admit it’s ok to not do it all! We ordered pizza! I sat down for 30 minutes with my camera card and computer and processed the images, admiring each image I so carefully crafted in the camera, brought to life even more through Lightroom. We will make a chicken dinner tomorrow night together!

I came home to our kids laughing, the best sound honestly! I was also quickly instructed to not go downstairs. For the entirety of our Covid-19 experience our son has been out of his room as we have progressed forward with the additions. Tonight he took the initiative to rearrange the space back into a loving room and moved his bed to a space that works best for he and his sister or us as a family to enjoy the basement together! It was an amazing surprise!

I truly appreciate the kids for the initiative they take, even during frustrating times that have felt lonely, I am thankful they have each other, us and their friends they have kept in touch with! It’s not a fun “current reality”.

This is what I used to do for me time, when I felt overwhelmed and needed to pull back from life… it’s too easy now to mindlessly scroll social media… another great reminder to follow people who inspire you and are authentic in their own life. This is something that has become strongly clear to me. Honor your own ethics and values!

It’s to convenient to view other people lives and think we are insuperior in some way than they are. Or reading the words of others. We are all entitled to our opinions. That doesn’t mean we have permission to be rude or inconsiderate. This time in our life especially, it’s important to be allowed to speak your mind and also respect that of others.

It feels even better to take a step back into the big picture of our own life. How incredible it really is. Our surroundings and the things in our home.

My life really is an art. It flows, sometimes better than others. All in Divine Timing! 💕

As I get ready for bed, I picked up this book to read today’s message 💕

Your Life As Art Photography by Pam

Artist & Intuitive | Pamela Zmija

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