Physical Reality + Emotional Pain

I messaged my husband before our daughters appointment today, my back is so sore I definitely need an epsom salt bath when I get home.

The same back, hip pain, on my lower left side, as yesterday. Both days my daughter had appointments for her upcoming Thyroid Cancer Surgery.

I am drained!

I got back and within an hour, probably less, the pain was leaving my body. I was also back at work. By the time I got home, the pain is non-existent.

The link… our energy is what holds on in our body, especially when its traumatic in many ways… This upcoming long weekend, 5 years ago was my husbands last of 3 surgeries on his ankle. All 3 surgeries were at the hospital where our daughter will be having her surgery.

Its like all the trauma of 2020 and 2021 was suddenly flooding into my body again. Not being able to see him, being horribly disrespected by nurses when I was trying to get information, being dismissive with me, dealing with a negligent doctor, me being “trained” medically to do his wound care because home care wasn’t home care anymore because of covid, my family couldn’t visit their husband and father after a tragic scary accident, but after surgery 2 they would bring him down to the parking lot to see us.

The appointment today was actually at that hospital. I haven’t had a need to be at this hospital, since my husbands final follow up appointment, which was years ago.

Our son and his multiple surgeries took us to Toronto, thats next level for me now. A place where my nervous system cannot handle driving!

Today, it was like every and all trigger medically that we have faced in the past 6 years was being thrown in my face and I was not only in pain, I was angry. Making the pain worse. The closer we got to the hospital, as we were driving away, I still felt that anger. Even on the drive home, until I had something else to essentially distract.

So very interesting, as I type, I am realizing this is actually it.

I can feel that truth in my body. I remember like yesterday, after surgery #2 speaking with the doctor, who advised it didn’t go well and he would need to stay to wait for further tests… Saturday to Thursday, then home with IV antibiotics 3x a day.

This experience, the entirety of it, is still stuck in me and is spiraling fear into the upcoming surgery for our daughter.

I am so grateful to have this come forward now, I am guessing, I think its Rosemary that helped. As I was choosing oils out of my oil box, I grabbed Rosemary, initially I wanted to put it back, even did start to, and then something stopped me, you need this… I think Rosemary is Knowledge and Transition…

Oh my goodness, that is it, and so much more.

Transition

Change

Trust

That is the key word right there… TRUST!💖✨️

A snippit from the Essential Emotions app…

I wrote this while in the tub… almost 2 hours later my husband came in to find me, still in the tub! I needed the soak and to clear my mind! I had no clue that much time had passed by…