Your Life As Art Photography by Pam

Health… the good, bad, why we must be persistent as women!

Anyone who has Hypothyroidism or even Hyperthyroidism for that matter is most likely familiar with this list below. Not too long ago I stumbled upon this excellent source of information on the StopTheThyroidMadness.com website – awesome!

Ive been battling PCOS and Hypothyroidism and Endometriosis for years. Years of pain, discomfort and feeling just down right awful – not to mention all the other wonderful symptoms that go along with it. All three of these “illnesses” are “invisible”, to look at me I look “fine” yes Im a curvy girl – heck I like that, would I love to trim some off my belly, of course, its hard however to do when you feel all the above.

Almost exactly 1 year ago I remember waking up and saying to my husband, Ive had enough Im booking my hysterectomy. Best thing I ever did. Any woman with PCOS and Endometriosis will know and feel my pain. To say somedays was pure hell was putting it lightly. The surgery helped SO much. Up until I had my surgery I had even less energy, motivation, was always tired, always in pain and thus very irritable and cranky. Not fun. Also not many people understand these illnesses. I rarely do talk about them as I am not one to use an illness or daily pain as an excuse for anything – that is until I get to the comfort of my home and my kids and husband are very familiar with mommy not feeling good or being tired. Now that they are getting older, its getting easier on mommy.

One thing that has bothered me since trying to get pregnant with our first child was the fact that my family dr immediately jumped to the diagnosis of “infertility”, granted this is what was happening, he was not about to help me with this and rather wanted to send me off to London to a doctor there… Anyone who has gone through infertility knows, its not a simple process, you have daily, weekly and monthly appointments. So I took this into my own hands and found an amazing Reproductive Encronologist in Harriston, he took me on and advised he would do what he could for me because he was unfortunately retiring in December… but hey no pressure!

After months of feeling awful, gaining weight with everything I ate (literally), crazy messed up cycles and not getting pregnant, he had answers for me within minutes! Which of course he followed through with blood tests to confirm and we then began the process of helping me feel better. This was a very hard time for me as I very much felt broken. However Dr Tyson figured out I had not just Endometriois – which I knew for years and had already had 2-3 surgeries for, but I also have Hypothyroidism AND PCOS. Both of which work against me …

Fast forward and I end up getting pregnant in our last month with him, December, found out in January we were expecting! Awesome :) I have our child and not long after my family dr lowers my thyroid medication. Telling me that diet and exercise will be better for me. I knew in my gut this was wrong and over the years have gone back for test after test, all of which telling me the same – you are within the “normal range” – I have protested this MANY times as I am in the very low end of the “normal” range… besides the fact of who decides what the normal range is – everyone is different…

For years I have been battling this. Both of these illnesses. One day feeling on top of the world and the next could be feeling the complete opposite. Or even arriving home from work and just being completely wiped out. After our daughter was born my dr’s solution was put me on iron.

Fast forward again… I had my surgery last year – great! Feeling MUCH better, but still not great. So I again do more research into more blood work and things I should have a doctor testing and finally went. Of course now waiting for results to come back to see him again, however he is a doctor who for one did my surgery last year and two who I feel truly listens to me – and yes he is a man!

Feeling almost “refreshed” last evening after coming home from work and spending some time with my camera and my girl out on a jeep photography tour I finally feel like I may finally get a handle on this, especially with the endometriosis pain 85% completely gone (still get some).

Then… last night I see this article and video circling online. Watching it made my jaw drop. Reading comments by some of the viewers made it drop even further!

Here is the link… http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/bully-messes-with-wrong-newswoman-as-hser-response-goes-viral/article4584932/

Some of the comments go on to say about how one woman once was fat and now is a personal trainer and according to her this woman did not handle this viewers email well at all and that she knows health and nutrition.

Completely boggles my mind. As a person who also battles with her weight and health I think this woman handled it perfectly well. Yes this “man” who emailed her is a coward, he is a bully emailing her to tell her she needs to be a better role model to young girls. … So what about all those magazines out there with all the women in them who are about 90-95% photoshopped… is that “right” or “normal” NO! I shared one on my facebook page just the other day, showing how the liquify tool in photoshop can take a “fat” woman and make her “thin” – words of the “photographer” – disgusting! You can see that link here – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbCCN0xtD7o&feature=share .

Regardless of what this woman’s story is, thats her story. I dont know if she is dealing with health issues, its really none of my business. However one thing that is very dear to my heart is the fact that women have to PUSH to make our own health a priority. We have to push ourselves, we have to push our doctors and health care. We have to push to get an answer. This is not right. I know my body, yet when I tell my Dr something is wrong I am told to exercise and eat better. Telling someone with PCOS & Hypothyroidism this is useless and a waste of time. Of course I am physically active, of course I want to lose weight, I know I would have more energy and feel better if I did/could lose weight. However there comes a point when you try and try and try and when you are only putting on weight and still feeling awful its hard to stay motivated.

For those of you looking for more information on PCOS and Hypothyroidism… www.stopthethryoidmadness.com is a great source of information for hypothyroidism, also provides you with a list of tests you NEED to ask for and should have yearly. There are so many women who go undiagnosed each day/year with PCOS who could be better understanding their health and bodies.

What is truly sad is how women react to each other, if a woman is very thin or quite over weight, even in between. Women, more than men are so very cruel to each other. And why? Why do women need to treat each other with such disrespect? We do not have to all be friends, we do not have to all even like each other. It can be no different than weight or men. Women can be truly hurtful to each other and without a care, without an ounce of self respect, or respect for others. Why can everyone accept each other for who they are, it is easier when you’ve been in a situation yourself where you are forced to accept your own body which is in a sense fighting against you.

A woman who is over weight, or who may not dress “in style”, who may not be the most popular or whatever… why are women so critical and two faced to each other. Much like this one comment I read of this woman who used to be fat and is now into fitness and nutrition – so what? What right does that give her to now come down on the woman who is facing her bully. Why are women so concerned with what each other has or is doing? Is life a game? Is life about having more or doing more than the other person? I personally feel great knowing what my outlook is, my goals and plans are and knowing that I am doing what I can to be who I am.

Aren’t women supposed to “stand united” – nah that went by the wayside years ago, well for some that is. I myself and many women I know have amazing and wonderful morals and ethics, who not only stand up for themselves, they also do and stand by the women in their lives with much love and support.

My husband laughs when I make the comment about how easy men have it, men certainly do not have the monthly issues we do, nor the health issues that go along with this – health issues I have as well as many other invisible illnesses. These women who would in one second flat throw another under the bus to save her ass, or who when she turns away is making a move on another womans man or who is so easy to criticize another woman. Men can joke with each other about anything, call each other the rudest of names (lol my hubby and cousin come to mind ;) ) and its all good, women omg no.

I truly applaud Jennifer for standing up and going public with this email, not only for herself but for her children – especially for young women! As a parent I want to set an example for my children, they know mommy has days she isn’t feeling well, but they don’t need to know exactly why, they know mommy exercises to help feel better and be healthy, they like to show me up doing push-ups and showing off their muscles haha! My children also know that mommy isn’t perfect, well according to them I am, but they see me, see I have a tummy, I joke that they did it to me, but also that it was the best thing that ever happened to me! One day I will finally get everything under control, until then I take it one day at a time. A year makes a lot of difference and since after my surgery its been the year of growth and change in an awesome direction!

Sending hugs out to those fellow women who are also suffering from PCOS and/or Hypothyroidism and/or Endometriosis…

http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/long-and-pathetic/ – Symptoms of Hypothyroidism.

PCOS

If you have been diagnosed with PCOS you should be getting a yearly checkup. This should include a visit to your OB/GYN for an annual exam, as well as a visit to your primary for a physical and lab tests. I was SO lucky to have now found (few years ago) an awesome and local doctor who listens and takes my feelings into consideration!

The purpose of these labs are to watch your PCOS and what its doing to your body. Even if you feel your condition is being controlled, either by medications or supplements, you should still have these labs done — just to be sure. PCOS can wreck havoc on your body, causing a number of serious health issues. Take the time to get these values checked, every year.

The following is a list of labs every PCOS’er should have done yearly:

• Fasting glucose

• Glucose tolerance test (GTT) *remember, even if these tests come back within normal limits, you can still have insulin resistance*

• LH (luteinizing hormone)

• FSH (follicle stimulating hormone)

• LH/FSH ratio

• Testosterone – total and free

• DHEAS (dehydroepiandrosterone sulfate)

• SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin)

• Prolactin

• TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) *this is also an important value as many with PCOS have thyroid issues that go undetected for quite some time. Thyroid conditions tend to have many of the same symptoms as PCOS*

• Lipid profile (cholesterol, triglycerides) *extremely important. These values are often high in PCOS’ers and they are what lead to our increased risk of heart disease, and stroke*

• free T3 & free T4

Copy this list and take it with you to your next yearly exam. Your primary or OB/GYN can perform these for you.

HYPOTHYROIDISM

Signs of Thyroid problems

Fatigue
Inability to focus
Weight gain
Heat and/or cold intolerance
Headaches and migraines
Dry skin and hair
Constipation
Irritability, anxiety and panic attacks
Hair loss
Fluid retention
Low sex drive
Testosterone and Vascular Issues

Tests for Hypothyroidism

TSH: for diagnosis of hypopituitary, NOT to diagnose or dose your hypothyroidism. If you allow a doctor to diagnose or dose you by this lab test and range, you’ll still be hypothyroid.
Free T4 and Free T3 (note the word “free”–important since it measures what is unbound and available.)
Reverse T3: to be done at the same time you do the Free T3. Then calculate your ratio with the results and measurements.
Thyroid Antibodies: anti-TPO and TgAb will help discern Hashimotos. You can add TSI for the Graves antibodies–some have all three.
Four iron labs: Ferritin, % Saturation, TIBC and serum iron (sometimes the latter will just say Iron, or total iron). A high ferritin can also point to inflammation.
Adrenal Cortisol levels: Saliva, NOT blood. Blood does NOT give accurate results. See below, because you don’t need a prescription)
B-12 and Folate
Magnesium and Potassium, plus Calcium, Sodium, Glucose, etc (All the latter are part of the Comprehensive Metabolic Profile–CMP blood test–as well. You can also ask for the RBC (Red Blood Cell) versions of Mag. and Pot, which measures cellular levels. For potassium, make sure the rubber tourniquet is not left on more than 60 seconds, says this study. Also note that the Buccal Mg lab test is finally available and seems to be more correlated to cardiac health than RBC Mg,but is expensive and not always easy to get.)
Vitamin D3 (25-hydroxyvitamin D lab test…)
Sex hormones: progesterone, estrogen, testosterone.
…plus others your doctor may recommend.

Saugeen River in Mount Forest

20121002-328C5163-WM by {Pamela Zmija Photography}

20121002-328C5163-WM, a photo by {Pamela Zmija Photography} on Flickr.

One of my favourite spots to shoot in town is down by the saugeen, whether it’s by 89, off Ayrshire or Murphy park, the bridge on 6 or down at Angus Smith park. This was shot from the bridge on 89 looking towards the bridge on 6. We really do have gorgeous scenery and landscape here! Proud to call it home :)

Autumn sun over the farmers field

20121002-328C5169-WM by {Pamela Zmija Photography}

20121002-328C5169-WM, a photo by {Pamela Zmija Photography} on Flickr.

Loving this image of the sun, getting ready to set, over the farmers field! Truly love Autumn!

Its the little things in life… and little peple

Yes life truly is about the little things… and the little people.

Heck my life, at this point, revolves around two little people. Which somedays is both good and bad. Would I change it for any other way – NO that is without a doubt. Does it make life, interesting? Yes that is most certain.

These two little people who growing up I knew I wanted to have in my life, who after I got married I cried for days, upon months not know when or if I could have, that moment with both of them I found out they were inside of me and the moment our eyes first met, moments I remember like yesterday and would never ever give back.

And then there are moments, well lets give today as example, late last night getting home from the cottage, albeit they did sleep on the way home and we did leave in good (cottage) time, it was still at their bedtime when we left. So the day I knew would be off to a rocky and slow start.

I love my children, however there are times Im on the edge of like lol, don’t judge me, every parent has had this thought, I love them unconditional and like them even more when after an… ahem, challenging time, mommy gets to have a “time out” – when daddy gets tagged in ;)

A morning where NOTHING can be found, well that is except by mommy with a child a foot away or explaining on and on why breakfast is so important, yes even when you think you aren’t hungry you must eat – remembering I must take my own advice on those days I don’t feel hungry. Or getting them off the bus and in for a snack before we head out for hockey practice, yes once again I am “forcing” them to eat – such a bad mom… mommy why do I have to eat? At this point I laugh, because, well when they grow up and have wee ones themselves (yes those words hold true from our parents) they will see what we mean! Or reminding them we only have so much time and we can do this, that and the other when we come home, I think I saw a couple turtles circle the house as we were “getting ready” – no I am not “that” mom who says that to the kids, heck mine would probably laugh if I did.

As a parent trying to use all opportunities I can to be a life lesson, one of them… being late, we experienced this last week – could have been the week before, whenever… when the bus came… and went. This was not a fun life lesson for the kids, however it did sink in. This morning however it was the socks… which could not be found anywhere, well until mommy walked in the room, yup literally ;) – perhaps the solution is to keep the socks upstairs at the door … hmmm that just might solve one of my morning issues.

Really what it comes down to though – as none of this was awful, horrible or bad – just frustrating in the situation, kids need sleep, organization and to eat. If they have all three they are so amazingly happy. So I can cover sleep. I can cover eating. My challenge with my little sweet darlings… organization! They love when I get something completely organized, even tell me what a good idea it is and how great it is to be “organized”, unfortunately in a kids world this is short lived. Which makes a challenge for a working mom. If you drop by and it looks like a bomb went off – oh no, thats my kids making memories… I really do try to keep it to their livingroom downstairs ;)

An on going challenge for us, our littlest one, such a sweetheart, but very stubborn – I really do not know where she gets it from. Has an issue, at times, going #2 on the potty. This makes for a very grumpy mommy when this happens over and over and over again. Kind of like trying to break the boy of his thumb sucking habit – but much much worse. She is such a big girl, until it comes to this. Little miss even saw mama getting teary and told me she would “make mommy proud” – didn’t that push me over and the waterworks were flowing. Ive admitted to her mommy doesn’t know what or how to help her, that mommy does get frustrated, Ive even told her mommy understands – all in hopes to get her to move forward. Mommy even was, ok still is, taking it personal, what did I do wrong, what should I have done different, she is such a great & smart kid but why this issue.

If Ive learned anything as a parent its that alot of us have experienced many of the same things, not exact, but similar and there is no reason to feel ashamed. I continue to remind myself kids develop and go through things differently and one day, one day this will end. Even with days when they take their time, at the above mentioned snail pace, for getting ready, it can be frustrating, but I also appreciate their own pace and value of time, to not feel rushed but to rather have things laid out in a timely manner. Mama works best this way too. Life can get in the way, make things feel too rushed, when really all it takes is a moment to step back and re-evaluate. One of my sons best qualities is his appreciation and assistance with organizing and cleaning. When mama feels disorganized and out of sorts, the little’s feel it much more!

Tonight however was a night I felt myself reaching my own breaking point, feeling all of the above emotions skipping, walking and running through my head. An evening where you swear the kids whispered to each other about how ticked they know mommy is and how they need to do the cutest things ever – like singing so sweetly together on the way home – and then being good as gold coming in, bringing their things in and going for some cartoon time while waiting for dinner. When hubby came in, he was tagged into the parenting role while mama had an hour “time out”. Going out for a cruise with my Jeep and camera :)

To return home feeling fresh, to my wonderful hubby and two amazing kids. Sure at times they might make life challenging, but they truly MAKE LIFE! Those sweet little voices when I walke through the door annoucing MOMMY IS HOME made my night and put everything back into perspective. We may be making our way over a few speed bumps, but that is nothing to the hill in life we will climb for many more years.

Life isn’t perfect, it is real and it is an experience in more ways than one. Anyone who tells you it is perfect, really is missing out ;)

They may make some days feel like a challenge, we may have to repeat some things more than once, but in the big picture they are awesome kids and we are lucky to be their parents. Tomorrow is another day and I can’t wait to see their smiling faces… at 7am ;)

Most imporant of all… they truly have helped shape the people we are today !

Parenting and even marriage are no different than my full time job. All require alot of love, fun, enjoyment, education, effort, team work, patience, dreams and goals to be successful!

8 years later… road of life and love!

Just the other day we celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary together!

Years later, our share of ups and downs, amazing life moments, love, saddness … its all held us together and with each passing day makes us and our marriage that much stronger! From man & woman, to husband & wife, to daddy & mommy… forever and a day!
Pamela McLellan-Zmija

Being a photographer I adore that I have thousands upon thousands of photographs to remember our life from the very beginning, from the time we met, all the months of dating, when we got engaged, bought our first house, finally became pregnant, welcomed not just one but two babies into our life together, said goodbye to a dear family dog and welcomed a new pup into our family! Its been quite the road. Not one without challenges, but most importantly its been a road filled with lots of love.

Support the Mount Forest Jr C Patriots & Enjoy… PIZZA!

Want to help support the Mount Forest Jr C Patriots… now its as simple as buying a pizza! New Orleans has teamed up with the Mount Forest Patriots to have a PATRIOTS NIGHT and the best part… they have been so very generous to donate 50% of sales to the Patriots Jr C Hockey Team!!!

As the team photographer (who is having a slow start to the hockey year ;) ) I had to share this and will until Oct 18th has come and gone! Please show your support and go and buy your dinner or if you dont like pizza buy it for someone who does!!!

Happy Anniversary & Supporting Minor Hockey!

Thursday we had the pleasure of representing JJ McLellan & Son and golfing in the Mount Forest Minor Hockey Golf Tournament to raise money for the league! We had a BLAST! I haven’t been golfing in 4 years, we went for my birthday with my brother and sister in law and it was hilariously fun, the wee miss was just a wee babe then!

Our anniversary was just 2 days before so this was somewhat of our “date” until our true weekend away to celebrate comes in about a month (yay!)!.

As much as I did fumble that darn little white ball I did actually have a few good shots – a couple we even played off of ! Hehe I didn’t rub it in toooo much ;) All in the game of fun right!

We lucked out with a gorgeous day! I could have photographed every hole we were on, actually the guys sometimes had to say “um Pam its your turn get over here” hahaha!

I had the honour of being asked by one of the owners of Pike Lake to photograph not only their golf course but also the entire company to celebrate their 50th Anniversary, that was last year, I also had a tour by my little bro who is very familiar with the course and one place both one of the owners and my lil bro mentioend was to go down through the trees on the board walk bridge. Gorgeous! So of course while going through I made the boys stop so I could capture another shot. Last year when she had me come out and do photos was early July, so it was nice to get some fall colour.

This next hole was a challenge to “Beat The Pro” Greg Shaw was a good sport ;) Hubby and Lil bro made it closest to him, but he was still a few feet closer to the hole. Ah well.

This game was to win a BBQ… we didn’t do well LOL!

Hubs taking his shot.

Our golf carts… yes I was photographing whatever because the colours were just so amazing, the sky and fall colours of the leaves. Just beautiful!

Mama even makes it into a couple frames ;) Thanks to hub’s for capturing this and to lil bro for capturing the ones of hubs and I together!

More golf carts, this time with the boys in it, the colours were to awesome to just continue driving on !

This was a sweater on, sweater off hole – there were a few of those that day, into the shade then the gorgeous warm sun!~

See what I mean… gorgeous fall colours!!!

We had a great time! Very much looking forward to next year… in the mean time coming home and telling our lil man all about how much fun it was and mommy showing them the photos he is now quite eager to get out there and test out his clubs his auntie got him last year for his birthday! :)

I think I see a family golf outting in our future!

Taking a step back, puts everything in perspective!

Having made the decision to focus more on my own personal enjoyment and satisfaction of my passion for photography has been amazing! Capturing our moments as a family and with our family and friends, more recently being reminded the true value and appreciation of family photography with the loss of a loved one. Finally getting out from behind the camera and actually in front of the lens, in real life and loving every minute of it.

I have had a couple sessions, have a couple more spread out and still coming up, however in between its all for ME! For my enjoyment, for my family history, for my pure love of the breathtaking beauty and art of photography.

Taking a step back puts things into perspective, reminds me of my true reason of where my passion was truly ignited when we as a couple became a family. Everyone needs “something” in their life and this is my “something” next to my family and job, both of which I am so happy with.

Life is not perfect, but these past few months have reminded me what makes my life and on this crazy road of our journey of life, it’s truly what I shape it to be. Not what I think is expected of me or feeling pressure to do this or that, it’s about what fits and feels right, what in actuality does not “feel” like work. It’s about being thankful for what I have been blessed with and to be able to have a job I love and I can work hard at to create a life and future for our family. No life is perfect, my life is normal, my kids don’t always get along, there are often tears and being told “i don’t like you”, and there are many more hugs and kisses… And photos to be used as the kids get older ;) Yup I photograph everything, as much as a tantrum might be annoying or deafening now, apparently we will miss this. LOL

Beautiful pictures… photography & life

Read this beautiful quote tonight!

Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room…
So if you see darkness in your life be reassured that a beautiful picture is being prepared!

Are you enjoying your beautiful picture? Darkness… ? Another reason I adore photography, the images are beautiful reflection of life and life around me and the darkness is only ever temporary ;)

Minor Hockey Golf Tournament | Pike Lake Golf Course

Minor Hockey Golf Tournament, a set on Flickr.

Yesterday we had the pleasure of taking part in the Mount Forest Minor Hockey Golf Tournament held at Pike Lake.

What a gorgeous day, beautiful sunshine and amazing fall colours! I am not an “avid” golfer, but I had a blast and even outshot the boys a few times! We even got to play from a couple of my balls ;) .

Thank you to everyone who was involved for putting on the tournament – we had a blast!!! Cannot wait until next year :)