Today is Bell Lets Talk Day where Bell will donate 5 cents for every official re-tweet, text message and long distance call towards The Canadian Mental Health Association.
I have PCOS. What is PCOS? It is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. This is something I will forever be affected by for my entire life and my daughter also is at risk for being affected. PCOS is another “unseen” illness. People can live day to day without ever knowing you have this. Yet almost every single aspect of your life is affected. Depression is a great concern among those with PCOS because it does affect so much of our lives.
Read Cyster-hood by the Canadian Medical Association.
My story… yes I have PCOS. I found out when my husband and I began trying to have a family. I was 23. I already knew at that time of other female health issues I had, which were hard enough to deal with day to day of being in pain. However now this hit me and hard. I was lucky to have the support of my husband and family, however I felt very alone. At 23 and going through days and months of tests, life style changes, no one understood nor made it much of an effort to understand what I and WE were going through. Feeling alone is something that is all to common to someone with PCOS, especially when trying to conceive. Am I ashamed of my health, no. But at the time I was.
Every time I heard of someone else conceiving a baby or having a baby my heart ached in ways no one could understand, unless they too had felt the effects of IF. Not only did this affect me, it affected my marriage. Our once very close bond had been tested and very hard.
Fast forward to finally conceiving our son, 16mths later. Our son being born and the absolute miracle when he was 9mths old conceiving our daughter (after months without a cycle and thinking I couldn’t). Fast forward again, our son is a week away from being 18mths old, our daughter is born. We have the “million dollar” family. Ha without the million dollars of course 😉
Yes it is everything Ive always wanted, but it still did NOT take the pain away. I still felt very broken, as a mother and as a wife. I had everything I had ever wanted, yet a part of me was still hurting. Physically and emotionally.
It has taken me years, this was a heart ache I would never ever wish on anyone, PCOS is a disease that I would also never wish on anyone. Although we are now happily “finished” with our family, I still will forever have issues with PCOS unrelated to fertility. In fact many know why I had my most recent surgery, one of more than a handful I have had and thankfully did take away some pain – from my other health issue. However having this pain taken away, has helped me with day to day life and feeling good. Its all to easy to get down on yourself and those around you (especially loved ones) when you feel awful!
December 2011 was a brand new month for me and has helped me to begin a brand new life. Although I will never forget our struggles or the difficult times in our life, I am so thankful and fortunate to be where I am today and where our family is today.
The point of my post. You never know what someone is going through. And if you do know they are experiencing issues or pain, try to understand so they dont feel alone. Sometimes what truly would help is someone to say ‘its ok’ and be there for support.
No PCOS wont kill me, however if I gave into the disease and focused on all the negative effects and symptoms of PCOS, yes that would. Life is too short, I have an awesome husband, amazing kids, an irreplaceable family and great friends.
Open your arms, open your eyes. Someone who is only thinking of themselves is not only hurting those around them, they are missing out on so much in life. One day these people will look back with much regret and it will be too late. Live in the moment, but make those moments last forever and something to be proud of! ❤
