Growth is an interesting thing. I began an 8 week course last night and waking up this morning my heart was feeling so full. Alicia led us through a couple meditations and the one, well it was near water and my soul was instantly there and the peace I felt wash over me was quite moving.
A wonderful group of women, I am thankful to be a part of. After our call and once I was settled in to bed, I pulled my head phones back out… and meditated for an entire 10 min straight. Something I honestly haven’t done in a very long time, my mind just hadn’t been able to ‘connect’.
I was so nervous to join, yet everything in me led me to that point and I was in full trust. Not only that, sitting at my desk, in my zen den, felt like coming home to me. I smudged me and my space before we began. Sat very comfortably at my creator desk – yes I have two in the space, one for everything creative and the other for the not so “fun” things but necessary responsibilities. I was about to sit at the “responsible” desk, because my cord was there, until I was quickly reminded, this, THIS is what you set up this space for. In my comfy chair with my bolster and my art and cameras and lenses in front of me.
When we can pull back in life, much like macro photography, sometimes we need to see the big picture, but far more often its these little details, that often get overlooked in our life. We get “busy” doing this and that and forget what our soul really needs.
Life is interesting at times, as I lean into myself even more I can better sense when I need to be more gentle with myself, or when I need to stop and redirect.
As a strong coping mechanism I have leaned hard on the redirect and listening.
As the oldest of my siblings, Ive been the one to communicate a lot with them, this week as I was communicating with my siblings, it hit me, again, its just the three of us. I know I should say “just” very loosely, so I pray he was there, he was present spiritually and oversaw all.
Last night I took some time for me, as I could feel the emotions slipping, I allowed the tears to fall, into the redirect. As much as I wanted, in that moment to just sit and have the biggest pity party, I clearly heard, get your camera.
Something that provides me so much heartfelt joy, and as soon as I am behind it, everything else fades, my heart opens up to the immaculate beauty all around me. I don’t have to travel far, my macro lenses are my outlet, nature, my subject.
Today, I begin an 8 week workshop, one that I happened upon when I opened Facebook a few weeks ago, a friend, who I reconnected with in the spring, who also has a pull to 444, is running and said it completely transformed her life.
Today, I face a fear of the unknown, I resisted looking through the workbook, however truthfully it didn’t take much resistance, everything new in the past 8 months has been hard. It just clicked… that the day, today… that this course begins… its exactly 8 months.
8 months since a piece of me left, since my life forever changed.
The same day, I begin this transformational course, with strangers, well, I know who is facilitating it, everyone else strangers, healing just like me in their own way. Change, embarking on something new, can still shake up emotions, which hit me yesterday.
Ive been told I shouldn’t share too much, keep it private. And yet, I personally, over the years have learned, shifted and healed in so many diverse ways, from reading other people’s stories. We can all learn and grow by trusting and sharing, without judgment, that can be so freeing. Ive finally broken the connection with social media, truthfully for the past 5+ years it was like a support system, virtually of course. And yet, when it all came down to it… well virtually its there, my heart however has realized, the major shifts I needed to make to help free my energy. As I logged into FB this morning, to grab a screen shot of the group and the information, I had no desire to poke around and see what anyone else is doing, this is Pam’s time. Truthfully Ive tried the online life, online “support” and in my experience, on social media, its just not authentic or real, the relationships are merely that, online and rarely shift out of it. Even in a time of need.
Ive had a strong pull to my blog, to my photography and I am grateful that last week something finally clicked and shifted. As I sat and wrote all that I was releasing, it felt in that moment like the shift began. Then burning those pages, reinforced it, there was no coming back from that desire. The pull back to my core of creativity, my blog. Where I also found comfort and solace for so many years prior to social media hitting the world stage. Where posting photos, goes so much deeper than just hitting like, it develops into conversation, understanding, curiosity and gets the mind going in the best way. Feeling proud and honored to share your art and the words effortlessly fall across the page.
Grief sucks, straight up. Sudden and unexpected, even more. I learn hard on gratitude, the connection we had was deep and I am so grateful for that.
I do truly believe the energy of and within this world is shifting, I can feel it. Truth is the knower and being of all, and if you aren’t living your truth, whatever that may be, get ready for a major shift in your life. Which will take you there by listening to your heart!
It’s often too easy to sink into the victim game of life. After listening to a wonderful video about the full moon happening July 10th I feel even more aligned in life.
It’s time to choose the higher frequency, always. It’s time to stand behind your voice and also beside it. It’s time to know your oath and own truth. It’s time to go within for healing, reaching externally isn’t suffice anymore.
It’s not just for me and my healing, it’s for the world. At a time when hitting those energies is necessary, to set aside what anyone else is doing, any excuses or name game they may be playing.
It’s time for true, honorable healing, which can, and will, only happen when living an aligned, honest life.
There have been several road blocks Ive personally hit on this journey of life, some massive mountains, other mole hills and the in between bumps and hills.
Regardless of what anyone else is doing and even the shit thrown at us in life. I have had to shift, multiple times, in truth, everything within the 2020’s hit me even harder after a significant sudden loss of a family member. Something I have never used as an ‘excuse’ and yet more an understanding.
For me to properly flow through life now, much of that is writing everything down so its not forgotten, leaving things in plain sight so I see it and dont forget, or asking for help, admitting when I feel off or down. Allowing those who care to be there.
Next week its 8 months and I am so damn grateful for all our good times and good memories, especially those I captured with my camera. How has it been 8 months. How has it been 9 months since I saw you last… almost 8 months since I spoke to you.
I sat down and wrote out all that I knew needed to shift in my life, to focus more on me and in all the ways I was self abandoning on myself. The way I have been putting so many others first before my own self and needs or down playing the massive loss feeling in my heart and surrounding myself with compassionate and understanding people. I gave myself a couple days to ‘get it all out’ and my god did it ever feel good! To get rid of those things, would allow me to align into my true self. Little touches like relying on social media for connection. Its been almost a week and I have found the best connection to replace that ‘need’, that also helps me go much deeper within. Curious what it is, if you are an photographer artist, see the previous post. Ive been pulled back to my blog hard, that social media is not the place for me right now (and my energy) its busy, quick, and sure its great to connect and see, however it also results in doom scrolling and what hits home harder for me, the connections aren’t necessarily true. Something I am working hard to shift, to be present in my life each day and moment.
This full moon was the beginning of a big shift for me, I feel it within and the gratitude that flows with it.
“I see the moon, in the middle of the afternoon” vision, noticing all the little things in life that can and do bring such joy.
Macro Photos taken in my backyard with my Canon R6MII + Canon 100mm f2.8L macro lens – see my photos on Flickr if curious of the settings.
I am excited to begin participating in the online weekly themes within WordPress as a Lens-Artist Challenge. This week the guest host is SH. The theme Quiet Hours, is so beautifully timed. At a time in my life where I am pulling myself more within, to set aside the rest of the world and focus a lot more on me and the healing I need. To spend time with those who have been there for me through a very challenging time in my life and allow myself to sink deeper in to the quiet hours. For me, this means creativity, grabbing my camera and simply walking outside or going for a drive. Conscious of what is around me and open to discovering more. Nature, as it turns out, is also so deeply healing, when I am able to walk into a path in the trees, minutes from town and feel like I am all alone in this magical forest. Just me, my camera and nature.
I am so excited I found these weekly challenges this morning!
Let me share with you some photos that I feel have the energy of ‘Quiet Hours’
I could see in my minds eye one of the photos, its from 11 years ago and I just feel such peace when I look at this image.
Macro photography continues to take my breath away, this has helped me in my healing, as beautiful a landscape photo can be (much like life), sometimes its easier to focus on one thing to help not feel overwhelmed. Personally I find capturing macro photography to be a serene time, to take it all in, and be open to the unknown, to what I maybe might uncover. A tiny friend I may meet…
I was photographing our new sunflowers that had recently blossomed and suddenly something caught my eye, I allowed myself to stay curious and then I found this little guy. He is about the length of my thumbnail, tiny! Was also so happy to pose for me.
For our wedding anniversary we chose to begin exploring Eastern Canada in Halifax. The people, food, atmosphere, experience, was simply incredible!
The quiet on the water, even with the gentle roar of the engine, is like a complete reset for me, being on the water, just taking in the gorgeous view of nature, able to appreciate the view, without the crowds. Bonus, the gorgeous angle for photos!
The view from our private balcony, when booking our 20th anniversary trip we searched high and low, we knew the experience we wanted to have and having a balcony off our room was important to enjoy the morning sunshine or have a drink in the evening. This was the view, so beautiful.
One of my absolute favourites from this year. A Blue Heron at one of our local parks. As I took a solo walk with my camera, I stopped to scan for details and this guy presented himself to me.
Macro photography I can almost feel everything inside of me take a deep breath.
The beach… a special place in my heart. I love the peacefulness of an empty beach.
These two I captured today, after seeing the challenge information, I knew my macro and I needed to get out for an experience, I met a new friend in one of our garden boxes!
I am happy I found this weekly challenge, excited to connect with other photographers to share my own photography and also to enjoy others interpretation of the theme, its exciting for me to see the variety of images!
Please be sure to check out the guest host SB post HERE and use the Lens-Artists tag to help us find you – thats how I found this today! I am grateful to have found this community and excited! Interested in joining the challenge, see the post information here.
The centre pieces for the shower were just gorgeous! I had fun capturing some macro shots of the flowers – just beautiful! The colours and flowers were outstanding.
A flower does not rush its bloom, reminding you to trust your own timing in life!
It’s often too easy to sink into the victim game of life. After listening to a wonderful video about the full moon happening July 10th I feel even more aligned in life.
It’s time to choose the higher frequency, always. It’s time to stand behind your voice and also beside it. It’s time to know your oath and own truth. It’s time to go within for healing, reaching externally isn’t suffice anymore.
It’s not just for me and my healing, it’s for the world. At a time when hitting those energies is necessary, to set aside what anyone else is doing, any excuses or name game they may be playing.
It’s time for true, honorable healing, which can, and will, only happen when living an aligned, honest life.
There have been several road blocks Ive personally hit on this journey of life, some massive mountains, other mole hills and the in between bumps and hills.
Regardless of what anyone else is doing and even the shit thrown at us in life. I have had to shift, multiple times, in truth, everything within the 2020’s hit me even harder after a significant sudden loss of a family member. Something I have never used as an ‘excuse’ and yet more an understanding.
For me to properly flow through life now, much of that is writing everything down so its not forgotten, leaving things in plain sight so I see it and dont forget, or asking for help, admitting when I feel off or down. Allowing those who care to be there.
Next week its 8 months and I am so damn grateful for all our good times and good memories, especially those I captured with my camera. How has it been 8 months. How has it been 9 months since I saw you last… almost 8 months since I spoke to you.
“I see the moon, in the middle of the afternoon” vision, noticing all the little things in life that can and do bring such joy.
The way a garden can pull my heart in, instant peace, fulfillment and I can drift into my own little world, even with a crowd of people around. If anyone saw me bending over, in a dress, I may need to offer apologies, I see the shot and go in LOL! I was excited for the baby shower, as I knew Aunt Lori’s gardens would be beautiful, they did not disappoint! The beauty, peace and tranquility… just priceless!
Possibly my fav of the day…
“A garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself.” “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.”
Walking into my aunts backyard is like walking into the secret garden, its so peaceful for being in a city. The variety is vast and so very natural looking. Even in the heat of the city!
Red, is so challenging to photograph in the high noon sunshine, even when toned down for settings! Alas, still so beautiful!
Be like the flowers, regardless of who is around you, in your life or not just be the best you, you can be. Bloom like you’ve never bloomed before!!!
On a beautifully hot humid summer afternoon, I was taking photos of the new sunflowers that had just blossomed, as I was capturing the delicate details of the blossom before it opens, I noticed this little guy. A tiny baby grasshopper, he is maybe 1.5″ long and happily posed for me!
The beautiful new sunflowers, when we brought this plant home, Gunner ate the top off of the only plant in bloom. I am so happy the plant is surviving and growing!
My fav…
New growth is so beautiful, I love the uniqueness of nature, how it all integrates together, seamlessly it feels. A sense of peace, and tranquility.
