As I woke this morning, just before 4:44am. I pulled out my journal and began writing. Leaning into whatever needed to be shared, whatever reason I woke at that time.
Living in flow, is simply that, being in flow. Naturally.
Living in natural flow, also for me means prepping, having things ready to grab. My morning flow on a Saturday is slightly different than my week day mornings. Having energy balls has been wonderful. My daughter also made fruit salad.
Enjoying time to reflect, rest and mentally set my intentions for the day. The diffuser going and enjoying the oils emotional benefits!
However… here is where I KNOW there has been massive growth! As we were going about our day, I was puttering about in the kitchen and… suddenly I noticed standing water in the drain board side of the kitchen sink… hmmmm this isn’t right.
THANKFULLY I ran the dishwasher earlier that morning and not just before we were about to head out.
THANKFULLY my husband was not only home, but CAPABLE of dealing with this.
THANKFULLY I have mastered my energy (and continue to everyday…) and was able to stay calm and grounded while our kitchen was completely backed up and sadly caused a slight bit of water damage to the base cabinet and we were literally supposed to be somewhere else at that moment.
Mastering our energy, is much like being in the flow. Ebs and flow. Think of a river, at times the flow is incredibly abundant, and at other times not as much. Mastering ourself to be the best we can in any given moment, is a true testament!
The “old” me, wouldn’t have handled this well, especially after being in such a great flow earlier in thr morning. I quite honestly would have been a mess. I would have lost it on my husband, was it his fault, nope. He was equally as frustrated but even more capable (thank god) to properly deal with it… in the morning.
So we left. We made sure our cabinets and flooring was protected with buckets etc just in case (they were fine) and since we were leaving for dinner anyway, we just wouldn’t use the two kitchen sinks until the following day. Live and learn, right. I talk to a LOT of customers with varying issues and, sometimes it’s been helpful having real life experience 🙃! Yes some I could have probably done without 🤪 Not only did we leave, I walked in, briefly told a couple people of our delay and then set it on the shelf and had a GREAT time!
Learning to truly TRUST has been a journey, one I am grateful for. Because BEING IN THE FLOW is incredible 💗!
True strength is knowing when to surrender and allow yourself to be vulnerable.
The energy, especially as an empath, lately has been somewhat like a roller coaster. Feeling all the feels. Good and bad. Content and overwhelmed. Happy and sad.
We don’t breathe properly when our energy has shifted towards those negative feelings and energy. I can feel myself needing more oxygen, deep breathing.
Put one hand on your stomach and one hand on your lower abdomen. With both of your hands there, notice how your breathing will naturally begin to slow and get deeper.
Our evening diffuser blend, intuitively selected with grounding in mind. No Citrus or floral oils. This quite honestly might be a first for me! Check out their emotional uses… 🥺😍🙏💫
Strength is seeing your own truth and honoring that, to your core.
Strength is honoring your feelings and allowing them to flow.
Strength is realizing you are exactly where you need to be at each moment in your life.
Energy is shifting.
Trust.
This evenings diffuser blend is equally as grounding, also opening!
Lime – Zest for Life
Birch – Supported
Siberian Fir – Aging and Perspective
Breathe – Breath
Petitgrain – Ancestry
Always remember you have unique opportunity to be your truest of self. Regardless of what anyone else’s opinion might be. When you reach your core, you reach your truth, when you live your truth, you live in peace, as you will never agree with everyone, you will however agree to compassion, ethics, values, love and respect. We are all one unto ourselves. This is the life we have for some reason chosen for this moment, whatever the moment will be. For me, it’s surrendering to these waves and honoring self care, stretching, healthy eating and hydration. And honoring my intuition and creating a diffuser blend for us all to enjoy every single night. To be honest it’s almost too easy to just fluff it off, eh I’m tired, we had one going during the day… no I am committed to supporting our bodies with the tools I know and trust. My oils. 💗
Sadly over the past two years the guys have found alot of masks causing blockages, as well as paper towels, wipes. Its not just hard on your own system if you are on town sewers this could be catastrophic to their systems as well as blockages can cause shut down – which isn’t good for anyone!
Doing the work will be different for every single person. What triggers me will most likely not trigger you.
This past weekend I was triggered in a very big way. I think because of the fact that it was also not directly at me, that it triggered me even more. Truly details do not matter, what does is I took someone for their word, their truth and found out they lied to me, through a loved one.
It hurt me for a couple reasons… 1. Because I believed their word and 2. My time (energy etc) is important to me.
So when I am lied to, literally for no reason, through a loved one that has zero to do with it originally AND my time is wasted (on 3 separate times), my new boundaries say a great big fat hell no!
However being the empath that I am… it fucking hurts!
The past two years has really been an eye opener in a lot of ways. I have developed an incredible compassion and patience level, because I have realized the strength of living my truth. The strength of being authentically me. The strength of being a true woman who can stand behind her word, unlike, the person who clearly needs a lot of blessings sent their way when they lied.
Am I perfect myself? Well let’s be honest, the word perfect is what YOU decipher it to be for YOU! Just like I decide what my perfect is. I have grown a lot in my life, I have realized the utmost importance of living an aligned life and have committed to a life of growth, however that develops for me.
What I do know, is that when I do the work, when I actually LISTEN to my intuition, life flows beautifully.
Truthfully, after speaking with this person the 2nd time, my intuition very strongly told me, exactly what went down. My ego tried to push that aside by saying no, no, you believe their word. No, you 100% always believe YOUR truth… but here’s the thing… it’s just not what you want it to be. That is still the ego. One can set intentions, but that doesn’t mean it will 100% come true. Doing this work, takes time, my goodness it still takes me time to connect, but it gets way easier!
A part of me hates to admit that I took a 24 hour hit to my energy, in a very negative way. Partially because I took it personal. When someone tells you one thing and then does the complete opposite it’s easy to feel this way.
My shower is like a magic portal. Seriously, I can get in there under the water and the downloads are incredible. The clarity, strength, love, support that flows through us priceless!
Why did this hit me, because I’ve adjusted my own limits of what I will and will not accept. To one person saying a “simple” lie may roll off their tongue with no hesitation. To another, who is divinely connected, this is literally going against your truth, your heart, your soul.
As I write and share, I feel the loosening in my heart chakra. Breathing deeper. See here is the thing, we cannot “help” everyone, in whatever capacity that may be. The best thing I can do is be the best person I can be. To release any expectations from anyone else – especially people who do not have a daily presence in my life – and to choose truth always.
Here’s the thing… you tell one lie and you will always be catching up to lie after lie. How could you possibly know your own truth? You can’t, I know this because I silenced myself for years.
When you do the work, you can then shift through easier, much easier actually, and come out feeling even better than before! Here’s the thing, when things are going REALLY good for you, the Ego likes to step in and challenge us. The ego is good at this. How bad do you really, really want ….. whatever. And that could be loving the fact that everything is in a beautiful positive flow, which it truly had been, until that afternoon.
Why a 24 hr shift… well the universe was challenging us with the power being out for many hours, my best shifting happens in the shower. Especially when I can stand with the water running down over my head and down my body. Literally washing the energy of the day off. The power abruptly came on at 136am at our house when the bedroom was filled with light. One downfall to three way switches to not know what lights were on when it went out. Actually 3 way switches are not great fun for anyone with even a touch of OCD, however that’s for another day. So I had a very interrupted sleep, meaning when wake up time came, it was challenging to get going. Not to mention then also wondering if the kids would actually have school, shockingly they both did! My body also recovering from an IBS flare up Saturday night… ahhh garlic!!! I’m grateful I literally was conscious throughout it all and used my tools, my oils, supplements etc and was able to get myself back on track in less than 48 hrs.
Growth will not happen over night, but it will be the best thing you could ever do for yourself!!!
Saturday mornings are for taking even more time for ME! Time is an illusion and leaning into the moment. I’ve never felt so aligned in me, with my heart and soul. I adore the diffuser blend that intuitively came through this morning.
💫 Night 💫 Light 💫 Unveiling 💫 Truth 💫 Releasing Control 💫 Breath 💫 Discerning
Some of my fav things… journals, meditating – @avalonstarlight the heart release meditation is just so divine! Oils, morning Turmeric tea. Slowing down to actually propel forward. ✌
There is alot shifting right now, energies increasing and balancing. This week felt heavy at times. Lean in but also know when to rise up, trust. Trust. 🥰
Happy Hump Day ✌️💫 Read these quotes this am and all hit my heart ❤🥰 Regardless of anyone else… Well they sum it up beautifully! (Especially the last one 🥰)
We have been using essential oils in our home since mid 2014. Our health, both physically and emotionally has continued to improve and also shift in a very big way since then.
Our animals live in our home and have free range, yes even the bird IF she really wanted to, thankfully she stays on her cage!
Watch as our dog Becker demonstrates how dogs can very clearly and efficiently communicate with us! Also… Spring is awesome to see, but yeah fur mamas… and floors 🤪! It’s a daily thing every night to tidy up the dirt!!!
They have been around our diffusers almost their entire life, with the exception of the 26 yr old bird! Our dog lays at time under the diffuser with it misting over him. Our cat lays on her cat tree above our daughters diffuser. As long as the animal has free range and could leave the room, it’s safe. Please keep in mind, there are some oils that are not safe for our animals, be sure you do your research and always use a high quality brand. This is why we explicitly trust doTERRA with their sourcing and science behind the oils. Quality matters in a very big way with oils. Read between the lines… pass on the ones at big box or grocery stores ✌️!
As I was climbing into bed, shortly after 815pm, I looked out the window and realized my timing was just perfect. 🥰
As I work to clear emotions, I have a lot coming up. Much of which is showing gratitude to my caring heart during earlier times as an empath this can be exhausting.
One thing that hit me this weekend is a reframe with our kids. During the past two years they were forced to get even more independent, not by choice either. It weighed heavy on me with every single email or call from the school about what was changing and if in school or online learning etc. We stopped listening to the news, it’s very toxic (and bought and paid for). The guilt trip of them being home, was heavy. I’m grateful I could be flexible with times when needed, when they needed me.
Suddenly, they didn’t need mom to do this or that anymore. It was a very uncertain time, times actually as it was off and on. The past two years, well I’m glad I take photos any moment I can because, the last two years was a blur. Straight up.
Although our babies aren’t babies anymore, it’s slightly surreal. I continue to love every single stage with them. Also that they still are so inquisitive and question. When they were younger, yes it felt annoying at that time. My mind was “busy” and full, and hurt. I know now the important of Self care, true self care, not shopping or nails, like going deep with yourself. I welcome them to question, I now question so much more myself.
One thing that makes me feel really good is clean sheets! The spring like weather was beautiful inspiration to get all of our beds freshened up this weekend! The kids maybe don’t need me for everything anymore… (um mom hello embrace this, they are learning responsibilities and um you don’t have to do it 😂!!!) BUT what I can do for them… something that as a teen and even heck as an adult it’s not always top of my list (laundry), but especially sheets, easy to forget. I can help them with and still do for them. Making their beds completely, clean sheets and blankets. Makes me feel cozy thinking of it!
Admittedly… it’s too fucking easy to allow your mind to talk shit to you… simply thinking of “all I have to do”. I’ve learned, the best way for my brain to function with less anxiety is to write down the things I needed to do, for the next day, that evening as intentions. When I write them as intentions on the evening or day before, this seems to have a different effect on my brain than if I were to write a “to-do” list that morning. That, even just thinking of a to-do list, I feel a slight tightness in my chest.
Today we accomplished…
GF Bread Loaf – still in trials 😬
Energy balls
Kombutcha tea batch made 😍
Kombutcha flavoured batch bottled
Made batch of home made Goat Cheese
Groceries
Alot of relaxing
Home office time
Family visit
Bed shortly after 8pm to write 🙏
If I would have wrote all of these tasks down for the day, half would not have been completed. My brain would have been overwhelmed.
Going with the flow. Being in the moment. I had a perfect opportunity to do each of our bedrooms each on specific days for separate reasons, it worked perfect for me to actually commit to the task and do it, among many other things I did yesterday that I hadn’t planned, AND have time for me. LOL Yes, this for many reasons is the reason. The more I am me, the more I am in the flow. The more I am in the flow, the more productive I am. The more I am me, in the flow, productive, the more I am happy and authentic.
The mom I want to embody for my kids. Real life, as an empath. Yes, feeling this much may not be for everyone, lol you do need to be careful, guard your heart, your energy. Simply being IN the moment and trusting whatever is happening, that I need to find a lesson to learn something for it… the more I say yes to me, the easier it has been to communicate. The mom who loves unconditionally, but will always have chores expectations, more hands make light work!
I also, always start all of our bedtime diffusers at night. When they were little, we did oils every night, Snuggled up in bed. Thank you covid for the extra push for my kids to grow up… 😢 I will always oil my babies backs up whenever they now ask, but for everyday we do bedtime diffusers!!!
Tonight’s Blend…
On Guard – Protection
Tea Tree – Energetic Boundaries
Petitgrain – Ancestry
Breathe – Breath
With this spring equinox… what are you able to release, who are you able to forgive, how are you able to move forward into authenticity?
We can be our BEST self, when we lean into our hearts, authentically who we are deep down, our ethics, values, our dedication to our own healing journey. Remembering everyone’s journey is unique, everyone has varying levels of healing physically and emotionally. Especially if there have been any illnesses or injuries. TO OUR OWN TRUTHS!
Which has just helped connect… the distinct block that was being felt between my upper and lower chakras. That I was able to break through this week. I now understand the disconnect even better now! Back to when I was 18, before my surgery.
Most of all, I want their kids to know their mama isn’t “perfect”, first off I set my own standards so that’s why this does not matter! Saying someone is perfect is judging them based on someone else’s standards. I am me, I will be the best person I can be, but I will have ups and downs, just like they will, just like their dad will, just like everyone does. ♥️
I am so grateful our kids have been so understanding at times. The weekend my husband had his 2nd surgery (YouTube video about how all of that helped trap emotions in my body, which caused intense physical pain), I came home from dropping him off and the kids and I went in the garden, I was also, I admit, using it as a way to blow off some steam as this was AFTER we found out the 2nd surgery was temporary and he would be most likely coming home with 6 weeks of antibiotics through an IV 3 times a day 😣! I was forcefully weeding the garden, yes with the collarbone pain that had already started as well. Holy shit looking back, I was a bit of a shit show. My brain is very much still healing from all of this.
I came into the house, the kids were making something in the kitchen, I’m pretty sure they were making dinner for them and me, when I told them I was having pain in my lower back and would need to lay down. I came in, laid down and could not get back up. The pain I was in was intense. Which then made the mom guilt absolutely horrible. Then, I couldn’t tell my husband, because that would just make him feel worse, because he’s in the fucking hospital again and can’t do anything and now more unknowns (yes he also felt this frustration), it just sucked. Thankfully my kids could bring me food and water. My son helped me roll over so I could get out and hobble to the bathroom. My saving grace was we had inhome massages booked for the Monday already, obviously his was cancelled cause he still wasn’t home, but I was able to get my SI joint released and I could move again!
I’m grateful my kids know mommy can’t and won’t do it all. Neither does dad. They have seen us vulnerable, age appropriate obviously. They have heard us talk about how we have tried or think we have to, putting expectations on ourselves even, which can be sometimes impossible to reach. I’m grateful they know feelings – the various wide range of feelings, are SO fucking real. REAL LIFE feelings that if you don’t deal with, you will one day be forced to. Feelings that, if need to be released or forgiven can feel like weights literally being lifted off.
I am SO grateful my kids know and understand it’s OK to ask for help, and have real life examples around them ❤
Our kids may not need me to make every meal, wash their clothes, do their hair, choose their clothes, etc etc… but they will always need me to show them the importance of being a real human being! Feelings and all. If we were completely truthful they would have seen a wide variety of emotions the past year and a half. Because they experienced alot themselves as well.
I’m grateful our kids know and see, that healing takes time, it’s NOT an easy road at all sometimes. This can require alot of patience, understanding and Unconditional Love, even if at the time you may not in that exact moment like the person (whoever it may be). Within the 2 years, the year and a half has been our greatest life shift and life lesson.
Plus… I will always be happy to make your bed and fill your diffuser!
(Especially because for some time… for each of us, this was our comfort area, where alot of time has been spent. Which was ok, I can now release that memory… that we were in protection/grieving/healing mode, it was ok!)
It’s interesting sometimes in life how it unfolds. As I walked into our bedroom this morning, towards the big picture window with a view of the green space of our back yard I said out loud, ‘I just love our bedroom space so much’. My husband was barely awake and he mentioned the last 17 months and how he wouldn’t have survived in our old bedroom (with using the knee scooter) as it was very tight and alot of angles.
We were reminded, back in mid summer of 2019, receiving our building permit, after we had requested a 2020 permit and spring start date. We were given 6 months to start or loose the permit deposit 😑! We were stressed and feeling the pressure.
Our foundations went in, I believe in Aug/Sept and the framing was started in December.
March 2020 it felt like the world came to a halt. Confusion, uncertainty, worry, frustration on so many levels. We were living in not just the uncertainty of the world and our health, being told to fear other people. It was the biggest, what felt like, psychological attack ever.
The Everyday life prior to things stopping mid March 2020 (pretty much exactly to the date 2 yrs ago)… life was busy, very busy. Both kids in sports, school, working, household, some sanity for myself, it was alot at times. The only benefit to 2 years of “covid” is life for everyone took a giant step back.
It made complete sense suddenly, why our building permit was issued when it was. Our project was well underway when covid started. However with our project well underway, we also had a significant addition to our mortgage to pay for the additions, and were now in a time that we didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen. People were literally being told to stay home, fear, so much fucking fear. My nervous system was seriously damaged on so many levels.
It is SO important for people to be doing the work right now. To dig deep into yourself, even prior to March 2020, what did you push down and what do you need to release (this will take time). With so much uncertainty that we were living with, I then had the pressure on me of kids at home now, government propaganda which seemed to change daily and weekly of what and who to fear, would we be allowed to keep working as well? Will people want people in their house to do work?
Seriously, psychologically this has been so damaging to everyone’s mental health. I’ve been a mental health advocate for years, for myself and also loved ones. There is nothing to be ashamed of for asking for help, especially with what we have all been through on so many levels. This is where “our government” has failed us, seriously.
I am grateful I am able to invest in me. Probably helped that we couldn’t go anywhere the past 2 years, so I have literally used money from our savings to support my and our mental health. This has been a back bone of my “fight”. So many things do not add up, real science comes out and it’s ignored, the government pushes the companies producing the products (with complete immunity) to tell the people the 4th is now needed. There comes a point where MY body, MY health is so much more fucking important than them cashing in again. The past 2 years attempted to ruin my mental health, I am grateful I was awakened enough to see it and ask for help, vs just literally falling into line.
I know people whose health has been ruined in the past year as well. The “health care system” is not built on health, it’s built on sickness and is supported by you being sick. True health and wellness is rarely if ever promoted by doctors or especially by the government.
We have been living in a space where literally the government, which is a very small group of people, make decisions for the collective based on what they want, not the people. Yet so many are breaking free of this matrix. So many are seeing the truths, feeling the difference. Like I did with my health, or my husband with his.
The Healing that people need, truly need, is so far beyond what the government deems necessary with their sick care. The Healing we need is on an energetic and spiritual level.
We have continued to be reminded of this. On a spiritual level, raising up our frequency, looking at our shadows, being in a position where you literally have to say, ok, I will trust what is unfolding to work out for my highest good.
But then, do the work!
Looking back on my life, I can see where the challenges presented themselves and then the growth happened. It’s not straight and narrow though, it can be messy, it will hurt, it will be scary at times. Your heart will lead you. My heart has led me, it’s been so fucking scary at times. But, if I hadn’t walked through what I did, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So for that, I am grateful.
I am grateful that while planning our additions and then in the design phase, we also brought in the Feng Shui elements to our living space. Which then flowed out into our existing living space. A beautiful sense of peace, completion and anticipation.
Ironically, during this renovation journey of ours making this house a home, we have literally changed every single room, to meet the needs of our family. Many of the spaces we have lived in or through renovation. Challenging, however it’s also like a blank slate. As an artist, what can you do with a blank slate… create whatever your heart desires! Sometimes when you feel the pressure to do, this is when you may also experience alot of road blocks. When you are able to just be… watch it beautifully unfold, sometimes in ways you hadn’t even imagined as part of your designs or layout.
