I was so lucky to receive an advance copy of Girl, Stop Apologizing. I began reading this book unsure of what exactly it would be about. I had an inkling of an idea… stop making excuses! ;)
Just 48 pages in and whoa I could have written this myself! I can relate with the words Rachel is saying within my own life.
One that has stood out a few times for me… MOM GUILT!
Yup Rachel, Mom Guilt is complete bullshit! I completely agree, and yet it cripples so many of us moms!
I remember being at a “playdate” with a couple other moms and their kids. These moms had zero intention of (ever) going back to work, but I did. I had already been back to work after the birth of our first child and was either just about to be off again with our (surprise) baby girl or had just had her, I cannot remember the exact timing. I will be real there wasn’t much time in between haha! I believe though that I had both my babies with me, so our daughter was maybe a couple months old and our son about 19-20 months.
What I do clearly remember is leaving her home and going back to our house. Calling my husband in tears telling him I would never have a play date with those two women again! They were cruel, actually worse than cruel because they both knew I had full intentions of returning to work… I enjoy being a working mom, I enjoy contributing to our household, I enjoy dreaming and allowing myself to set goals to achieve, I enjoy financial stability and also showing my kids that I am more than “just a mom”. I didn’t just have kids to sit at home. However for whatever reason that day, they completely disrespected all working women and how they “expect others to raise their kids”, aka daycare and this went on and on the entire time I was there with my children.
Ironically these same two women hit financial and marital ruins. Do I say that to be cruel to them, nope. It became their reality, their focus was staying home no matter what… it was more important to them than anything else.
I’m thankful for that phone call to my husband that afternoon, it honestly was when I feel I strengthened MY beliefs, MY ethics, MY respect for the hard work of both myself and my kids dad. Also that it was up to us, not them (thank god) to raise our kids!
The entire book though, resonated with my soul. Immediately I could relate, Rachel and her husband are 8 years apart. As are myself and my husband. She talks about real life in this book. When I said I related with it so much I could have wrote it – of course I mean in my own words and my own life ;) Reading Rachel’s words sparked a new part of me that had been buried for a while. A very long while.
This book reminded me the importance of simply being ME. I honestly enjoyed it so much more than Girl, Wash Your Face. The book is laid out in sections.
Part 1 – Excuses To Let Go Of
- That’s not what other women do
- Im not a goal oriented person
- I don’t have time
- Im not enough to succeed
- I can’t pursue my dream and still be a good mom
- Im terrified of failure
- Its been done before
- What will they think
- Good girls don’t hussle
Part 2 – Behaviors to Adopt
- Stop asking permission
- Choose one dream and go all in
- Embrace your ambition
- Ask for help
- Build foundations for success
- Stop allowing them to talk you out of it
- Learn to say no
Part 3 – Skills To Acquire
- Planning
- Confidence
- Persistence
- Effectiveness
- Positivity
- LeadHerShip
Women, especially those women who become mom’s can easily become lost in our own life. A journey that is hyped up so damn much to be the most amazing and best time in our life – yet as a new mom its scary, unknown, tiring, not just tiring its exhausting, your body changes, you feel like no one understands… Yes it is the most amazing time in our life – but lets be freaking real here. NO ONE IS PERFECT. No one knows what you need better than you and sometimes that involves digging DEEP DOWN to find out what that is. Cause I can guarantee you – its not so obvious, because you don’t want to or can’t see the obvious. Which is ok.
Ironically, as Rachel writes in the Intro… What if… that she was originally going to call the book Sorry, Not Sorry. Instantly got me. For years Ive been apologizing. For various things. Various things that quite honestly were either hiding what was a true part of my soul or making excuses for others.
No more.
I have chosen to dig deep. I began in 2014. I was inspired by searching out healthier options for our family, which I still stand by very strong today. I was lit up by Why Guy Gerry Visca to rediscover my Why in the world. Ive attended personal development training seminars, holistic health conventions (doTERRA truly is a personal development company wrapped up in an essential oil company – to choose better you must know better…). 2018 I invested in ME. I let my cup refill and overflow into my life, especially my children and husband. 2018 I dug deep, deeper than I ever have. I also forgave. Whew, it was transformational. Quite honestly its also something that you choose to continue doing. I met an amazing personal and business coach, Helen Muray who helped me to dig up and release. Something everyone should be doing.
Honestly though, check out this book. Regardless what stage of life you are in, you can relate to it somehow. Because the gist of it is… BE YOU! Be unapologetically YOU. Whatever that means for you. Yes its Rachel’s story, however we can all learn from someone else who has lived through and has chosen to speak up and find their voice.
For me its strengthened my voice. Why our health is so important, to listen to our body and soul, that we must make our own informed educated decisions and choose health vs convenience, my creative outlet of photography and writing both of which I did for years off and on and is one thing that I have allowed to waver – when I shouldn’t, to be our child’s best advocate – so incredibly important, everyone learns differently and we need to embrace that not shame it, that my body is beautiful regardless of the various scars and stretch marks – beating infertility twice and birthing two amazing children, over coming depression and mental health battles that… ok lets be REAL again… we ALL face at some point in our life. Being totally real here if you think you have never had any mental health issues in your life – you are lying to yourself and you need to do your own personal deep dive. Live in truth, live with compassion, live openly, respectfully and honestly. Simply be YOU!
Let me know what you think of the book… I am so stoked to have my love of books and reading re-ignited!
<3 Pam
