When life feels hard, it is easy to pull in, its also easy to think you need to go external, thinking others may have ‘the answer’, and yet that isn’t an individuals responsibility when they are facing something ‘big’.
A very recent experience for our girl, resulted in a significant surgery after being diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. Its been scary. Its been stressful. I knew ‘something’ was going on with her, and in the pushing to get answers, I never, ever expected it would be that.
I woke up this morning, exhausted. I honestly feel like I am in a Hashimotos flare – my eye sight is off, my limbs are so very heavy, my hands feel swollen and the exhaustion is quite heavy. Grateful I am home with my girl, where I need to be for her and for me.
20 months after my brother died, 26 months after our family dog passed, we received her diagnosis. It was actually his voice that told me, it wouldn’t be good. Before she even had the biopsy. Ive been living in such a wild range of anger – stemming from my kids being pulled like yo-yo’s from school, husbands accident, multiple surgeries, doctor negligence, son multiple surgeries and appointments (some were weekly/bi-weekly in TO) to then pushing for answers for our daughter that ultimately ended up in reporting a doctor to the college and being moved over to a much more competent and compassionate medical professional.
My nervous system has been a wreck. It was hard enough for 5 years being “trained” for wound care for both my husband and son. Now… my goodness 2026 has been a breath of fresh air.
The first half of 2026 was heavy stress, so heavy, the unknowns were mounting and I was crumbling internally.
My husband began seeing this, thank god and knew I was sinking. After my husband and son, just hearing the words Thyroid Cancer was heart wrenching for your 18 yr old daughter.
I saw this quote the other day, and my goodness it hit my heart. Hard.
Many times I thought I was going to break. After 6 years of so many ups and downs, multiple hospital, doctor visits, standing on my head at times to get answers and this, my baby girl being diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer was my hardest chapter by far.
It rocked both my husband and I and thankfully, pushed us even more together. At a time when stress can most definitely do the complete opposite, our marriage is the strongest its ever been.
Here’s one of the biggest lessons I had to learn over the past 20 months… many people will easily spew out words – some beautiful, some helpful, some mean. Never ever take it personal. Boundaries are healthy. Some people will be there for you, others will merely want the update. Many will never ask, even though they may have uttered the words many times to you – Im always here. Its the easy thing to say, ‘let me know how it goes’… and yet its not my/our responsibility to update people who do not care to ask themselves.
When we got our daughters surgery date, we reached out to the people who were there for us, who asked how she was doing, how we were doing, who showed compassion and care. This was my firm boundary being placed. I was only sharing updates with those who cared and asked. Yes this meant people didn’t know about her surgery – the core people who have been there for us the past 7 months as we navigated appointments and especially the 2.5 months that led up to the surgery – the beautiful Lord and Universe has shown us WHO our people are and we are SO grateful for that.
Honestly, as a recovering people person, I cannot get outside of myself again. Ensuring someone knows about something that is going on in our life, but yet they do not actually care the rest of the time – isn’t my priority and never will be again.
I felt a significant shift in me about a month ago, the interesting thing is my husband has felt his own shifts. Both of us becoming much more conscious and aware.
It truly is feeling like, we have pulled out of this cycle. As my husband and I were having lunch we began talking about what we have been through, over came – together and individually. As I mentioned to him the 7 surgeries between him and the kids – the last 2 me not being 100% responsible for wound care – thank god! My husband made a good point, you aren’t including your own surgeries. So I began counting those…
The irony, Im not sure it truly would be irony, its definitely not a coincidence, I myself have had 7 surgeries. My husband and 2 kids combined – 7. Slightly mind blowing.
We had time to “waste” while waiting for her surgery to be over, so I specifically requested we go to the park. The same park I went to after dropping my husband off for his 2nd surgery in May 2021.
August 1, 2026
Unfortunately due to a challenge with wound care (that ended up being delayed due to a miscommunication) we ended up back in the city where she had surgery. In all with travel it was a 6 hour ordeal. My nervous system crashed last night, for a couple reasons that I do not even have the energy to get into now. The Canadian ER system is so very broken and unless someone within that system actually has compassion and a care for another human being, it will continue crashing. Setting boundaries also includes respectively speaking up for your own personal health boundaries or your child.
My energy is giving me a very clear sign that the focus needs to be pulled back and on to me, for healing to happen. After arriving home my body crashed. Hard. Today will be a day of rest for our girl and me!
