Lost in thought at the beach…

I love this photo of hubby at the beach. As soon as I showed it to him he remembered it exactly, we biked down to the park from the cottage, our first family bike ride where we rode our bikes and the kids rode theirs – the ride down was good haha! He was watching them playing in the park. Deep in thought enjoying every moment we were having together as a family.

Its funny how a single photograph (ok in my case its usually a lot more than 1) can take you back to that exact moment and remember everything as if it had JUST happened! Thats what Jaz said when I showed him this photo, what the kids were doing, where we were, how we got there and just how much fun we were having that week away on family vacation. It was awesome to get away for a week after the crazy stress we had been under the entire almost year before with selling the house and other things, to get away and re-focus on whats truly important.

 

Sunshine, Water… Our Beach Story!

Im having a lot of fun going through our photos from the summer – ones I did not get to last year to process. In a sense its the “Story of our summer”! Well our story at the beach that is. I love it there. Love Love Love it there :)

You can see more photos here http://www.flickr.com/photos/zmijaourmomentsintime/

Uncle Justin on the tub wipes out lol

The family cottage is one of our most favourite places ever, I am so happy that not only did my parents get to share this with me when I was growing up, but now I get to share it with our kids and them growing up. Memories that truly will last a lifetime!

Lets Talk… Do you know what PCOS is?

Today is Bell Lets Talk Day where Bell will donate 5 cents for every official re-tweet, text message and long distance call towards The Canadian Mental Health Association.

I have PCOS. What is PCOS? It is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. This is something I will forever be affected by for my entire life and my daughter also is at risk for being affected. PCOS is another “unseen” illness. People can live day to day without ever knowing you have this. Yet almost every single aspect of your life is affected. Depression is a great concern among those with PCOS because it does affect so much of our lives.

Read Cyster-hood by the Canadian Medical Association.

My story… yes I have PCOS. I found out when my husband and I began trying to have a family. I was 23. I already knew at that time of other female health issues I had, which were hard enough to deal with day to day of being in pain. However now this hit me and hard. I was lucky to have the support of my husband and family, however I felt very alone. At 23 and going through days and months of tests, life style changes, no one understood nor made it much of an effort to understand what I and WE were going through. Feeling alone is something that is all to common to someone with PCOS, especially when trying to conceive. Am I ashamed of my health, no. But at the time I was.

Every time I heard of someone else conceiving a baby or having a baby my heart ached in ways no one could understand, unless they too had felt the effects of IF. Not only did this affect me, it affected my marriage. Our once very close bond had been tested and very hard.

Fast forward to finally conceiving our son, 16mths later. Our son being born and the absolute miracle when he was 9mths old conceiving our daughter (after months without a cycle and thinking I couldn’t). Fast forward again, our son is a week away from being 18mths old, our daughter is born. We have the “million dollar” family. Ha without the million dollars of course ;)

Yes it is everything Ive always wanted, but it still did NOT take the pain away. I still felt very broken, as a mother and as a wife. I had everything I had ever wanted, yet a part of me was still hurting. Physically and emotionally.

It has taken me years, this was a heart ache I would never ever wish on anyone, PCOS is a disease that I would also never wish on anyone. Although we are now happily “finished” with our family, I still will forever have issues with PCOS unrelated to fertility. In fact many know why I had my most recent surgery, one of more than a handful I have had and thankfully did take away some pain – from my other health issue. However having this pain taken away, has helped me with day to day life and feeling good. Its all to easy to get down on yourself and those around you (especially loved ones) when you feel awful!

December 2011 was a brand new month for me and has helped me to begin a brand new life. Although I will never forget our struggles or the difficult times in our life, I am so thankful and fortunate to be where I am today and where our family is today.

The point of my post. You never know what someone is going through. And if you do know they are experiencing issues or pain, try to understand so they dont feel alone. Sometimes what truly would help is someone to say ‘its ok’ and be there for support.

No PCOS wont kill me, however if I gave into the disease and focused on all the negative effects and symptoms of PCOS, yes that would. Life is too short, I have an awesome husband, amazing kids, an irreplaceable family and great friends.

Open your arms, open your eyes. Someone who is only thinking of themselves is not only hurting those around them, they are missing out on so much in life. One day these people will look back with much regret and it will be too late. Live in the moment, but make those moments last forever and something to be proud of! <3

Calm Water

Water so peaceful and relaxing,stir’s up in a storm and can begin crashing.Waves high and low, fast or slow. Much like life, sometimes you never know.Just like when the water crashes down on the shore, with each wave comes a new pattern, coming back together while flowing in a new direction. Pamela Zmija

Writing is therapy for the mind, Photography for the heart

Ive always thought of Photography as my own form of relaxation, gets another part of my brain working in ways it typically doesn’t everyday at work. The ability to just capture things as they are and enjoy the raw beauty.

Writing is much like that. Everyone has things going on in their life that affect them in some way or another, writing may help to get feelings or thoughts out, to share them with someone or just write until your mind is clear. Photography for me is opening myself up and letting a part of me become vulerable and almost naked to the situation. Opening my eyes as if for the first time and feeling new – where the naked comes in. Places where I have been before can hold a new meaning or discovery. Not having any expectations of anything and just going with the flow.

This is where beautiful things come from, this is where dreams are made and life truly shows its meaning. There are times I am very hard on myself that I didn’t get “the” shot, only to come home and find out “the” shot is not what it was all about, it was the shots that I saw briefly, I took on a whim and took while I thought I was actually going for another.

I love the beach. I love the waves of the water, how each flows apart and then back together. Ive found to see the resemblance in the waves of my life, when we spend too much time planning – like the shot – something goes un-noticed, yet when I go with the flow and open myself up to the amazing possibilities beautiful things, amazing things happen. Being “naked” in a situation is only the beginning – the beginning of many possibilities if you just open yourself up to allow them in. With nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hold you back. Go ahead with unbeatable confidence and trust in yourself.

Its when you least expect it, your dreams will come true!

Your Life As Art Photography by Pam

Artist & Intuitive | Pamela Zmija

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