The Room

Its interesting how and what shifts when we are hit with life.

We bought our home with the full intention of embracing what is and making it completely our own. When our renos began in the basement, the main floor became the landing pad for the unknown and more specifically the room being my office.

Then the brand new basement flooded, it was like a gut punch to the space, time and money previously invested.

A couple years later, a building permit was granted a year in advance, albeit a true blessing in disguise, the room, was still a collect all, the dumping ground for the unknown items of the house.

Then the 2020’s began and we all know how that went. Fun times… not. Towards the end of that first year, our family was hit hard and thus the room, continued to be that dumping ground. A complete disorganized mess. Where many days I could be found, hiding from life with a badly tear stained face, not wanting to show my family I was quietly crumbling and breaking in half.

I remember taking it back, I remember the pride, I remember sitting in the room and feeling peace, such peace that I hadn’t felt in a long time. This was almost 2 years in…

Then, the universe turned our world upside down again… as one crisis ended, another literally began.

Slowly but surely, this room was taken over again with this time… everything medical. Between October 2020 and July 2023 we had 5 significant surgeries that… this wife/mama was “trained” to do wound care for. This room, and our massage/reiki table became a medical treatment table with boxes of various medical supplies.

My zen den hasn’t been mine in years… other than a very brief period.

As we have now integrated a puppy into our family, lol much different than life with a senior dog who, bless his soul, supported ALL of us through 2020-2023, well honestly actually until he passed mid May of this year, he put his people first, with our new pup he loves discovering new things. Hes reminded me of what we have stored in this room from the 4, yes FOUR years of wound care. Hes reminded me that I need to take back this space. I need my healing room, my zen den. My space that’s been avoided, again.

I am grateful I COULD be there for my loved ones who needed me over those 4 years and truthfully continue to.
I am grateful we have the space in our home for doing this and a space that I could close the door when things felt super heavy.
I am grateful I faced my fears and stepped into my power to be there for them to do the daily wound care and health care support that our medical system is failing.
I am grateful my loved ones trusted me to do the wound care.
I am grateful my loved ones allowed me to integrate holistic care of Reiki and essential oils within our treatment.
I am grateful I am not afraid to cry or express my emotions in front of my husband or kids.
I am grateful I surrendered and allowed myself to be vulnerable, even during those times I felt completely alone.
I am grateful we leaned on trust and allow ourselves to be divinely held.
I am grateful for the guidance I receive.
I am grateful I now fully trust my intuition and allow it to guide me completely.

Sometimes, its ok to take a step into the darkness, trusting you will be guided as needed. Its ok to take the time to gather the strength, knowing you will be hit with some pretty heavy and big emotions.

Its OK…

Darkness to Light
Copyright Pamela Zmija – do not copy or replicate!

Because within the darkness… we can ALWAYS find the light <3

A Hero

“a hero
is one who heals
their own wounds
and then shows others
how to do the same”

Its interesting in life when you are IN something and then are able to look back and see the awareness. That is expansion within growth.

That was my last weekend, a feeling within that I just couldn’t shift, a knowing that wasn’t confirmed until that uneasy feeling was proven.

“a hero is one who heals their own wounds and then shows others how to do the same”

This quote, although not in my mind at the time, is exactly how I handled the situation, with grace and ease because of the deep healing I have done and actively still do on a daily basis.

To demonstrate, with love and compassion in ANY situation life may bring to us. <3

Macro rain drops on a plant leaf in the early morning.
Canon R6MII + Canon 100mm f2.8L Macro

In the early Mornings

Ive always desired being a morning person, to enjoy the morning before joining the world for the day.

I kept hitting resistance, I would be good for a short time and then burn out. I would then burn out and also feel the pain physically.

Something has shifted. The desires have gotten stronger. I received a gentle push, in a direction where I would essentially have to be committed to rising early in the morning.

Over 3 weeks… and even on a Friday night, I honored me, and how I wanted to feel today. I was in bed before 10pm, I was asleep before 1030pm. As he and I both tossed and turned around that 3am time, same as the night before, interesting, he is also sensitive to the energy of the moon. Amazing… that tells me even more the alignment of this dog coming into our life, was divine timing.

Rediscovering the me that over the past 4 years, had dwindled away. Circumstances outside of me with literally zero opportunity to grasp control, with the outside world. Yet when I align with my internal world, the magic that aligns is confirmation I am within the flow.

If you are new to my blog, there will be a variety to read between animals in my life, the people and experiences in my life, as a Lifestyle Photographer I capture life as it happens and the beauty of nature and my heart expands as I share, doTERRA Essential Oils, Spirituality and Holistic Healing. I am a beautiful believer in standing in our own individual truth to find our true alignment with ethical authenticity to live in a state of truth and honesty being the only way.

The first step, choosing to listen to the intuition with gratitude and grace!

No Coincidences with Love

In my early mornings with the pup, it’s given me a chance for quiet, introspection in the early morning when it’s just me and him. Something I’ve honestly desired, to have an early morning wake up, for a while now but had never committed.

I was good when the kids were young, had to, right. Then 2020 years hit and I can see so clearly, hindsight is a beautiful thing, just how much wind was sucked from my sails!

Waves, is the best way to describe and process it all. With Love.

We’ve had Gunner in our life for almost 3 weeks and it was the jolt I needed. In the days between Becker and Gunner, I received a clear message as I was thinking ok maybe this is what I need to kick myself into gear and I heard, that’s the point mom…

Truthfully, even before Becker passed, even before he had a lump burst I had a deep small fear beginning to surface. Gunner is my 3rd dog, I always had a dog growing up at my parents, however when I was 18, that is when my first little man, Elwood came home. In the midst of a very unhealthy relationship. He was my gentle protector and demonstrated that one evening when a guy walked into the shop I was in and growled and came and sat in front of me. The year Becker came home, was one of the most challenging years of my life in literally every area of it. His life with me, he was a strong emotional support and he knew it without me even asking. He would come and put his entire body on me, when I wouldn’t want a single thing to touch me. The fear beginning to surface, was that this may be repeated, especially when I declared 2024 a year of healing.

The past almost 3 weeks, the desire to rise early, has been every single weekday by 5 or 530am and on the weekends by 7 – with the exception of the past Saturday when he got to meet his puppy cousin and he slept until 9am the next morning!

He has forced us to ground, to BE in the moment and to rise with the sun, in the best possible way. Much like the beautiful energy and existence of a child and their intuition. Fun and laughter of play time, the connection when he makes eye contact. To help pull us out of this void that we hadn’t realized had become so deep. Even with the healing we have been doing, individually and together, its evident some has been more surface.

Slipping deeper into trust, allowing the fear to wash away. Trusting that this IS the year of healing. As hard as it was to have to say goodbye to our Becker, we knew as he was aging and the day would come. I feel peace in my heart, regardless of what anyone else may think, the way things aligned for us was beautiful. As another fear, I hadn’t actually realized was deep within is that I would come home and find Beck or something would happen and we wouldn’t be here for him.

The day before Gunner came home, a prayer was answered, Beckers ashes came home. His spirit has been here the entire time, however it just felt right to have to have them back before we began this next chapter.

There are no coincidences in love, even with the heartache – nope not fun in the moment, there is growth, there is expansion, there is healing. When you trust those intuitive hits, magic happens. With so much gratitude and love!

My wee handsome Gunner at 10 weeks
Copyright Pamela Zmija

Your Life As Art Photography by Pam

Artist & Intuitive | Pamela Zmija

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