Your Life As Art Photography by Pam

My Experience with Whiplash and Essential Oil Relief

I began this post, three weeks ago with just a title. “Burnout Survivor”…

For the majority of the past 5 years I was in fight or flight mode, skimming the surface of taking care of me.

Monday of this week, something significant happened to me and its in the form of a gentle, yet abrupt experience. Time to take care of me, no matter what. Literally now.

At lunch, I was playing with my dog, with his ball. He had a toy in his mouth so I was using my foot to kick the ball back and forth to him. Until one time my foot didn’t hit the ball and my body and head fell backwards and slammed hard against the floor. It shocked me what just happened, how?! I instantly knew what I needed, and through sobbing tears I found a roller bottle, dumped its contents and began filling with oils – Frankincense, Copaiba, Balance, DDR and Cypress.

Frankincense is beautiful at supporting all systems within our body, but especially our nervous system. I knew this was a must have considering I just hit my head hard on the floor. Copaiba which is very grounding and calming, much of why I also added Balance. DDR is the cellular complex, oils that is also supportive to our nervous system, then I topped off the roller bottle with coconut oil. I also put a drop of DDR and Frankincense in my mouth. I rolled the oil blend over my neck front and back and my forehead and jaw.

After a couple days I was able to use the deep blue stick on my neck, I would roll the roller blend on first and then the deep blue stick over top. Layering can be very powerful with oils.

As a person who is not keen at all (anymore) on taking pain meds, this is something I did so that I could be comfortable and be able to get some rest. After going to the hospital – literally the only time we go there, wanted to be sure my neck was ok after falling. I was impressed with the speed at the hospital and them getting me in for an x-ray so quickly. Interestingly enough, the Dr I had to make a complaint about back in 2021 after my husbands x-ray was grossly misread, was the doctor on. It was like a flood of anger hit me as I walked back in from my x-ray and looked at my husband waiting for me in the room. Realizing even deeper, I have so much more healing from that time.

Whiplash and minor concussion the nurse told me, I never saw the doctor, yet interestingly enough his name went on my x-rays… thankfully I have pocket health and also read them myself after our 2021 medical system experience. The pain sucks. Energy, obviously much lower, I was exhausted that night, yet woke up I think every 2-3 hours.

I was able to use our red light wand a few days after, up until then I couldn’t handle the slight vibration on my neck. I also went and saw an oil friend who ironically taught my first Reiki course to me, as I walked into her home for the first Spinal Flow appointment, the energy shift I felt was profound. I was to see her on the Tuesday, however I knew I wouldn’t feel comfortable or able to drive. I felt much better going Thursday, end of the day, my eyes were already done with the computer, thankfully by taking regular breaks within the day I am able to use the computer. End of the day, is a welcome break and using my phone is almost non existent after work, I use it briefly during the day when needed. During my spinal flow appointment I felt a shift, she could see a shift. I am so grateful for these holistic modalities!

Truthfully its taken me all week to write this and that’s ok. This weekend I had many other plans than just hanging around my house all day resting… However, the universe had other plans and these times when you may feel forced into resting, there is deeper Healing that is open to me, open to getting me through this and also helping me process much of what still is underlying.

5 days later, still experiencing dizziness, can’t hold things for a while, or need to sit to do so, washed dishes and quickly realized that was not a great choice given the neck and upper back strain, however each day getting better. Consoling myself with the plans we did have originally this weekend with no hockey on the schedule. Allowing myself to feel the feels, its ok to be pissed off, its also ok to do nothing but heal.

Healing ironically, but not because there are no coincidences, is my word for 2025.

Empower Your Life: Simple Shifts for Wellness

As I sit down to write this, I am surrounded by some of my favourite things, things that have provided incredible little shifts in my life.

After a very challenging 5 years of my life, I am embracing MY own inner power again and beginning the shift all over again.

This time, I benefit from previous knowledge and experience, shifted by my intuition knowing what aligns with me and how I want to live.

What little shifts have helped me (again)?

Essential Oils – when caring for others and under extreme stress at varying times, its sadly common to neglect your own needs. Essential oils have provided incredible shifts for me with assisting in balancing my digestive system, colds, coughs, headaches, back and body aches, emotional health – the uses and emotional meanings behind the oils is so fascinating!
Water & Tea – focusing on hydrating my body in supporting ways. I am a water girl through and through, and have really began to enjoy morning and evening tea. Similar to essential oils, plants are incredibly supportive and powerful to the body, mind and soul.
Vitamins, Minerals & Omega’s & Electrolyes – as someone who isn’t in favour of ingesting a lot of pills – of any kind. When VMG+ came out… it tastes great, I drink it with half a tall glass of water, mix it in very well with a Recharge Electrolytes and then fill to the top with ice! Delicious and the only “pills” to swallow are the Omega’s, Terrazyme (digestive enzymes) and probiotic!

Ive taken the liberty to share with you an INCREDIBLE offer if you are interested in trying the VMG+ and a few of the other supplements along with some awesome oils!!! Details below from doTERRA’s site. When you purchase through this link, you will purchase through me – Thank you! If you would like something else customized for you, we can meet any budget and create an awesome and easy way to build a home collection if you so desired by making smart purchases and maximizing your value!

Healthy Habits Kit (VMG+ and EO Mega+)
You want to be the healthiest version of yourself. The best way to take charge of your wellness is by building habits. Every day, you make choices that contribute to or take away from overall health. Making healthy choices is much easier when you have a routine.

The products in the Healthy Habits Kit are the tools you need to make healthy choices every day and establish a routine that lends itself to the healthy lifestyle you’re striving for. With bestselling doTERRA essential oils, blends, and supplements, the Healthy Habits Kit offers incredible support as you walk the path toward a happier, healthier you.

The kit includes:
doTERRA Balance 5 mL
Tangerine 5 mL
Deep Blue Rub
Lavender 5 mL
Frankincense 5 mL
doTERRA On Guard 5 mL
doTERRA TerraZyme
doTERRA PB Restore
VMG+
EO Mega+

160.00 PV
Retail: $300.00 USD
Wholesale: $225.00 US
This kit also qualifies for a FREE Gift! Currently you can choose from a Pebble Diffuser, Abode Handwash with Dispense or the Toothpaste Duo of On Guard and Super Mint!

Or check out some other kits here –> https://www.doterra.com/CA/en/site/pamelazmija
Red Light Therapy & Sad Lamp – Ive loved the SAD lamp, its something I turn on every morning. I am honestly new to using the red light therapy, however anytime Ive used the wand that we have, Ive noticed positive shifts in my health.
Indulge in what lights me up – This is unique to each and every one of us, what lights me up may or may not align with you. Photography, Writing/Blogging, Journaling, Reading, Yoga, Nature, Reading, Time with loved ones who equally make time for me.
Healy Frequency Device – this is very cool, its one of those tools that I totally get, but many may not. It helps balance the frequency of your body with various ailments you might be faced with or needing support for. It was also something that was sitting on my shelf for a bit and had also got forgotten about!

Honestly my two biggest shifts back, taking my vitamins etc more regularly again – a PCOS flare up really helped remind me, its not fun having your body screaming at you – and using our essential oils daily, I was really good at starting the diffuser at our office, however not as great at doing it at home. Now Ive shifted and simply added it to my routine, feed the dog, while he is eating fill the diffuser. He actually enjoys helping me pick oils, as our dog loves his nightly oils on before bedtime!

I am here to help those who want to be empowered within their own life. Who take their life by the reins and are open to ‘what if’, this hasn’t been working, maybe this would or you’ve been facing challenging times and want to shift, or maybe you feel drawn to shifting your life in a holistic way. Whatever your reason may be, or whatever brought you to this post. Thank you for reading, thank you for putting you first and being open to learn.

Who this isn’t for, is someone who wants to be led during every single step. Within making shifts to your life, direction and education is key, yes, however if you do not have a deep desire to shift in your life, it wont work. The desire must come from within to be successful at shifting.

If you are ready to make a shift, please first check out this link, think of taking a deeper dive into YOU – how does your body feel, what is your energy like, what would you like to shift first and foremost in your life. Personally I began with digestive support, this was key in my life at the time and now I am able to support when needed which is beautifully empowering!

The Emotional Bond: How Dogs Help Me Heal

This beautiful blanket of snow that graced us on new years day, continues on! I love how fresh and clean it looks outside breathing in the cold winter air!

My boy’s first winter! 9 months old and he is loving the deep snow ❄️ Even on days I may not feel like doing anything, this boy is absolutely filled with love and excitement! He was so excited when we went out to shovel the walk again this morning! A beautiful reminder of how the universe works and why he came into our life when he did 🙏 It was known I would definitely need the emotional support and also the distraction.

My new year began with heart supporting choices and a few new reads that I’ve had on my heart. I am loving the words of @briannawiest in her book #ThePivotYear – just 4 pages in and I highly recommend! I also snagged her book, When You’re Ready This is How You Heal. I am also absolutely loving @donnaashworthwords book #GrowingBrave Along side my own journaling in a basic journal with lined pages, I am eagerly awaiting the daily journal #WordsToLiveBy by Donna Ashworth!!!

“What you engage with is what you empower” Brianna Wiest – The Pivot Year

Its easy to think back to that morning of May 19th, all was somewhat “normal” within our world, yet at the same time it was like waiting for the floor to drop out. That morning, I had a deep realization that our life was about to shift in a big way. A way that instantly put me into fear, not for the loss but for the why that may come after.

When I had my first dog, I was in an unhealthy high school relationship that was sadly emotionally and verbally abusive. To the point where my dog got out of the car with me the one day and then refused to go inside that house. I love a dogs intuition and how they instantly can honor that. He saw me through alot, he was with me when I went through the infertility battle, when we were blessed with becoming parents, and then quickly after our 2nd being born to complete our family. He was with us until a couple days after we had moved to our new house, just outside of town that we saw as our forever home. It was like he waited to ensure his family would be good, knew we would be held. We were, our last boy, grew up with our toddlers, it was busy, omg so busy I remember those years through my photos! Grateful our kids got to grow up with their cousins for so many years. It was a couple months later our Beck came home, during one of the hardest years of my life. Merely a months later, my life would shift and he was a rock through my physical and emotional healing, for the days, weeks and months I needed it most, and for many years. He knew when his mama needed support and would use his physical body to lay on me, like a weighted blanket. July 2024 he would have been 13 <3

That May 19th morning, I felt it in my heart, we were on borrowed time. We knew in our hearts and had previously discussed, when the time came that our Beck needed to say goodbye, we would welcome a new boy into our hearts and home. That morning, as I saw his sweet face looking back at me, I instantly went to denial, then ok maybe we do just get him now and Becker can be with him for a bit. I put my phone down and went about my day, gardening with my husband and the dogs out front, we had my parents dog with us at the time. Within hours of seeing the pup’s photo, our Becker was crossing the rainbow bridge. 111

I could feel myself sink into the fear again, I knew deep in my soul something was coming that I would need to face… much like how things unfolded for both my Elwood and Becker. I felt like I was swimming in emotions again. Very happy with the decision to get the Gunner we did in May, training was so smooth with him and much easier through the summer & fall! Even during the puppy shark days, I reminded myself this is temporary. Becker knew, just like Elwood did. I love that I can trust that knowing, trust my own intuition and embrace being ok with needing… as someone who has been a people pleaser and fixer for years. 2025 we are healing that…

In the couple months following our Becker’s passing, the physical pain began setting in deeper, after years of taking care of others, I was maxed out and it began showing up in how I was feeling, pelvic pain I hadn’t had in years, my sleep was worse, brain fog, digestive system imbalance, deeper tension in my body and my blood sugar levels. Emotionally, I then began to sink.

Yesterday, it hit me, this is exactly why Gunner came into my, our, life when he did. He literally gives me a reason every morning to get up, at a time when I was very emotionally at a loss after Becker and especially in November after Adam passed. Our kids are teenagers now, sure they “need” us, but they don’t need us like after Elwood crossed the rainbow bridge. He gives me a reason to get up and going, he pushes me to be active because he likes spurts of activity (we are well matched there lol!). After work, as I drove home and admired the beautiful clean white snow, I knew when I got home, Gunn and I would shovel the walk way, to also give him and opportunity to wear off energy and for me to get some physical activity as well!

He reminds me, as a mama of teens to take better care of me now. That rest is encouraged, much like a baby/toddler, our 9mth old puppy does need his naps and thrives so much better when he has down time during the day, as well as a scheduled routine bedtime!

Beyond the benefits of physical activity, he is very loving and loves his people. Personal space doesn’t exist, he wants to be close, but is starting to understand we can have some space when cuddling! He reminds me of portions and disciplines everyday, the dog isn’t the only one who needs probiotics daily!

2025 is MY shift year, where similar to when Beck was by my side, I dive back into my health, but this time deeper and more consistent. As I told Gunner, both he and I are actively in training and have been now for a few weeks.

The love of a dog is like no other. They rarely if ever have a bad day, when loved and are beyond excited to see you come home! Each of these boys have taught me so much, most of all the power of unconditional and self love.

How Heartache Shapes Our Journey to Authenticity

The various heartache’s we face within our lifetime have the ability to shift and shape who we are and how we relate in our life.

Personally, when faced with heartache during the early 2020’s, this left a lasting impression within, scars that no one could visibly see and only the closest could feel. A reminder of emotional pain, scars that went unknown, were pushed aside, forced to heal through, words that you wish could have been erased. Things that leave a lasting impression ones that cannot be ever fully cleared.

Embracing Truth: The Path to Emotional Healing

The truth begins within, how you feel, physically and emotionally. It goes deep, experiences in life, people whose paths we cross – some for long and others short – no matter the time to make the difference, possessions we own – or rather perhaps “own”, respect within and outwards, where we live, the job we have, our homes, the ways we live, the products we use, the hobbies we enjoy immersing within down to the food and liquids we eat and drink!

It feels good when you can face the truth and know to your core, it all feels light because it is right. There is pure flow with little to no resistance. That is good karma, that is learning to stay in your own lane and truly LOVING your life as much as you can that you WANT to see others win! You want to see people loving and experiencing their own life and being the best person they can be, through whatever journey’s they may have faced.

Its challenging being faced with heartache – whatever that may be and still needing to function to simply be a human being. This is one of the greatest challenges in life and it can range from the simple adjustment to being a parent & the various stages and ages, the loss of an animal, a friendship dissolving, a bad day at work, being lied to and/or betrayed, whatever heartache means to you. Ive experienced this overwhelm feeling far too many times as many of us have.

One thing Ive learned and remind myself, hurt people, hurt people.

Healing people, heal people.

Someone who is healing, will always want to see the good in all.

Hurt people, will never want to see you do better, in any area of your life.

Hurt people are outside of and the person within.

Who do you choose to be in 2025?

As an individual and any other “role” you play in your own life. Its incredible when you choose to look at the truth to know you are being the best person you can be and mean that when you look into your own and your kids eyes.

Finding Flow in Life: Welcome 2025 with Purpose

Some of the best experiences and moments just happen, which is how our day and evening after work fell together. Felt blessed to have all the kids home with us, fondue and game night made it absolutely perfect!

Remembering my commitment to me and keeping my creative mind healthy, of course I snagged some photos. Everyday living, your life as art. Truly priceless. Honoring myself, my soul and my commitment to me.

My heart was blown away this morning, at just how connected we truly are.

Before getting up I took the time to update my 2025 Vision Board from last years images. One thing Ive learned is to go with MY flow, which will be different than everyone elses, thank god! My natural flow, was to create my 2025 board today, this morning, before anything else.

Pay attention to the little things, something someone says, or you hear in music or tv/movies, read something, it ALL means something on your journey, especially those things that jump out at you and catch your attention! As I sat down on our couch, my husband walked down the hall and I looked up and saw this on our digital photo frame. This frame feels so magical at times, Ive uploaded photos back to 2012, and they can be very random, a new photo with a very old one, such as photos I uploaded from last night, one came up with an older one. This morning, these two caught my heart… the first image, my brother with our neice at a few days old. The 2nd, our nephew at a couple days old, we buried our brother the day before he was born. Its these little signs, that I know he is with us through everything, how I dearly miss his physical presence, we didn’t see each other all the time however texts and calls were common, and I miss so dearly. My main word for 2025 is Healing…

A book that caught my eye after our Becker passed last year, I felt even more drawn to so I ordered it for myself after Christmas. Growing Brave by Donna Ashworth, I first saw some of her pages on Instagram, and her words graced my heart. She urges her readers to just open the book to a random page, that is what you are meant to read. Today’s is heart warming…

The photos showed up before I opened my book <3 Look for ALL the signs…

From The Pivot Year, another jewel!

For 2025, regardless of anyone else, follow your heart, your intuition first and always. You will find, once connected – you know you are connected when it feels in flow, feels aligned and all is within peace.

The New Year Diffuser Blend, today I added in:

Wild Orange – Abundance
Litsea – Manifestation
Roman Chamomile – Spiritual Purpose

Today, started as a fresh blank canvas…

A beautiful blank canvas, in your life as art.

Feel it all, align with your heart and soul, feel to heal.

Many blessings

Saying Good Bye to 2024

Its been a bittersweet year, and I mean, fucking bittersweet.

I appreciate the experiences, the fun times and all the love. The growth experiences and holding me when I needed to be held.

Something I began doing a couple years ago, is writing down major “things” of that year. Ideally by month – when I first did this a couple years ago, I actually did it by year. This is SO freeing to the mind! Incredible actually. Yes the good, bad, horrible, incredible, amazing, all of it. As I sat down last night, also on the new moon, I was able to see in black and white my year. The trials, tribulations the absolute highs and lows. Many of the bad things can stand out far too powerfully, its helpful to remember the good, regardless of how big or small. If it comes to your mind – its worth it!

Over the holidays we also did a lot of cleaning, organizing, and decluttering and it feels SO much better!!! I highly recommend starting the new year by clearing your space, it helps clear energetic space in our minds, souls and bodies as well! Be sure to remember your photos on your phone and computer. They are precious jewels!

2024 for me unfortunately began within the first few days with a very unexpected heavy, negativity energy that I remember feeling towards the last half of December – energy never lies! I however did not allow myself to slow enough to go inward. This similar energy, unfortunately stuck with me a couple more times throughout the year. Each I remember, a knowing, that something was off, something was going to happen. Its not a nice feeling, and realizing that feeling is gone after you are faced with whatever challenge, is emotionally troubling. This inspires me to be my most aligned and authentic self, to lead each day with ethics and values.

I leaned into my heart, knowing after the past 5 years I, we, had collectively experienced, I knew moving into 2025 must be about healing – MY healing. I am great at taking care of others, even the dog, he gets his probiotic every morning, do I ensure I do that for myself, truthfully I hadn’t been and I got hit hard this year with many things outside of my control, that felt worse because my health was also then out of control with how I was feeling.

Each year I select a word, as inspiration, a focus for the year ahead. This year a few words have come up, Healing, Brave and Light.

I intuitively followed the inspiration of a few books, they all arrived yesterday and Ive ordered a new daily journal, that I am also very excited for. A book that I have had my eye on for a good part of 2024, Growing Brave by Donna Ashworth. As well as A Pivot Year and When You’re Ready, This Is How You Heal by Brianna Wiest. I also ordered the year long journal, Words To Live By by Donna Ashworth that was just released! Ive been looking for a journal like this and even tried creating one myself. I am a photographer within my creative heart, I just couldn’t put together all that I envisioned and fill in the blanks. This I am very excited for! There is something about a beautiful thick journal where you can see your progress, that I personally find comforting. I had my eye on A Pivot Year for a bit as well, but didn’t have the true desire to snag it until last week when I ordered it. I am excited to continue into these books for this year!

While in the midst of winter, although sadly more spring like at times, this time of year I do find more challenging, during the spring, summer and fall I am out with my camera a lot, during the winter, unless its a beautiful nice winter day I rarely get the inspiration to get out with my camera, especially being a natural light photographer. Moving into 2025 I will solidify a routine for ME that supports my mental and physical health on all levels and is not cut in stone, this is another key factor for me. Even taking photos of the everyday, something I hadn’t done in a while since the kids became teenagers. Take more all the time photos!

New Year Diffuser Blend

This can be enjoyed today on new years eve and tomorrow on new years day. Blend to your liking! This blend was intuitively selected and smells divine!

Ylang Ylang – Oil of the Inner Child
Oregano – Oil of Humility and Non Attachment
Marjoram – Oil of Connection
Frankincense – Oil of Truth
Eucalyptus – Oil of Wellness
Basil – Oil of Renewal
Endless Summer – Blend of…
- Wild Orange – Oil of Abundance
- Grapefruit – Oil of Honoring the Body
- Coconut Extract
- Siam Wood – Warm, woody, relaxing and clarity
- Eucalyptus – Oil of Renewal
- Bergamot – Oil of Self Acceptance
- Green Mandarin – Oil of Pure Potential
- Labdanum – Grounding and emotionally balancing
- Jasmine – Oil of Sexual Purity and Balance
- Sambac – Relaxing and sensual
- Frankincense – Oil of Truth
- Palmarosa – Oil of Emotional Growth & Maturity
- Sandalwood – Oil of Sacred Devotion
- Osmanthus – Oil of Gentleness
- Manuka – Oil of Being Upheld
- Litsea – The Oil of Manifestation
- Tonka Bean – Relaxing

A new favourite oracle deck… Messages from the Spirits of Nature Oracle – is divine! I feel a beautiful alignment to this new deck. I picked this up from Art Arrows!

Cards for the New Year

River – Flow
Sun – Faith
Jasmine – Sensuality

As I feel confident in saying good bye not only to 2024, but to the past 5 years of the 2020’s. Happily.

I am looking forward to Healing, Being Brave and Light in 2025!

When You Take Care Of Others

Ive heard it, Ive even said it myself.

Caregivers typically are the ones who end up needing taken care of…

Interesting when you are IN it though and you think you are doing all the things but in reality you are spreading yourself so damn thin you are merely skimming the surface.

This summer I noticed the pelvic pain coming back again. Pain I honestly haven’t had in MANY years. Truth be told, caring for my husband and son – both of whom had multiple surgeries, thank god not at the same time, but consecutively right after the other. This wife and mama was not only navigating a time when the government decided to play yo-yo with us, our physical and emotional health and our lives. In school, our of school, the fear mongering, the separation, it was hell. Honestly hell. From someone who thrives with connection, thrives with traditions and being around loved ones. I know this is when my physical health in 2020 took the first hit.

From Oct 2020 until early 2024 Pam was in caregiver mode. Prior to that, our life was like a yo-yo in and out of fight/flight based on what the government was forcing on people. Kids out and in to school then out again. Thinking of what they all needed, vs what I needed. It was too much to add in my own needs. I needed to get through the day ensuring my kids and husband were good.

Just as their healing was ending – with so much gratitude, I saw our senior dog going downhill. May was an interesting month of highs and lows and then November played out very similar just in human form.

Diamonds are created under pressure, yup I get it.

With the recent pelvic pain, I did the modern medicine thing, to ensure I didn’t have a massive cyst that may burst – yup the pain was/is real. I was concerned about being active due to the pain. Did the follow up with the gynecologist, already fully knowing and prepared for what I would be told. I already knew after two ultrasounds – which side note… whats happening in the medical system and time wasted – I was booked for an “emergency” U/S… of my pelvis, then had it re-booked so they could do an internal to see more – why wouldn’t that be common sense to do at the first appt, well for “emergency” appt’s they don’t book enough time. Ok. Rebooked a month and a half later. I call that morning to see if I need a full bladder when I am only coming for an internal ultrasound – the male tech who answered asked me what I meant by an internal ultrasound. Has the world changed that much that people cannot define what a woman is OR what an internal ultrasound would be for a woman – seriously? I then explained, well I am a woman and if the pelvic ultrasound didn’t show why Im having so much pain, my nurse practitioner wants me to have it internally, so inside me… because I am a woman. My lord. That appointment… booked from 1030-1230 was 8 minutes. Eight. From the time I went in, had the pelvic ultrasound, and then got undressed for the internal ultrasound (which the female tech called it that also). So why… why wouldn’t it have been done before – I digress.

I am back in my training mode, navigating what I knew years ago and what I did to shift my health in significant ways. What is frustrating, was being told by the Gynecologist that I had 3 options… 1. Birth control pill to “shut off my ovaries” (I had a hysterectomy in 2011 and many years ago being on the pill ruined my health when I went off of it – so its a HARD no for me!). 2. Carry around pain pills in my purse and take as necessary – this is exactly what I resorted to EVEN ON the pill for many years – truthfully about 15-34. 3. Do nothing and live with the pain. At no time did he ask about my lifestyle, what I eat, dietary habits for PCOS and Edometriosis. This is a very real “solution” its just not a quick one. Ive been through the – just give me a pill to “fix me”. Its not that simple. Big pharma is trained to get people hooked on drugs to be on for life. That’s not how I live anymore.

In 2014 I found holistic health options starting with doTERRA Essential oils & supplements. Truthfully during the past 5 years, I did great at taking care of everyone else… but me. I was merely skimming the surface and I can now see how much lower I would be if I hadn’t been able to.

So what am I back to doing… I will share soon but I am already feeling on the up and up, with more time it will get better!

Be You

If there is one thing my brothers life taught me, its to be YOU! Whatever that means for you. Choose happiness, choose health, choose well-being. I love that we both had that spiritual spark within us. The universal way, the knowing, the gratitude for living this life. The appreciation of memories, I am not the only one who captured memories in our family. What means the most now, is truly embracing who you truly are to your deep soul, we don’t know how much time we have here in this human experience, we are doing ourselves a disfavor when we choose to put what lights us up aside.

Will everyone understand my trust and love for essential oils, nope. Will someone elses heart and soul light up with excitement seeing a moment captured with my camera, nope. Will the same value of my oils and photographs make sense to someone else, most likely not.

Its what makes sense to me, its what lights up my heart and soul. Its what we are meant to do here on this planet, during our human experience. Before hatred and negativity hit the earth. There will always be duality, with light and dark, the evil forces however. Once erradicated, this planet will begin to thrive again.

What is key at this time, is making time for you, allowing your heart to speak, more importantly, learning to listen to yourself. This is the most challenging piece that people experience, they think they hear themself, yet its the voices of others.

Your true soul passions and loves, may not be what you live your life doing as a living, these practices, talents and arts may be the blossoming of your soul for YOU! Watch the magic your intuition can unfold over your life, when you listen!

I am not just here or there, I am everywhere

Life sure has some interesting twists and turns.
I read a quote a few weeks ago that said,

Some situations break your heart, but fix your vision.

Ive felt that deeply recently.

Loosing someone close to you, suddenly, is heart breaking. Life changing in massive ways. Snowballing in many directions, yet the main focus always being primary. The strength I witnessed come forward, the depths of emotions being felt, the laughter of memories and photographs, the tear soaked faces – my god there were many.

The outpouring of love, the support, respect, condolences, was truly touching and honestly overwhelming at times. Shifting to this new life, unexpected and unknown. No longer “we should…” or “lets plan this…”. No more photos, no more voice. I treasure the last two voicemails, recent in October and for my birthday in August. The incredible bear hugs received in person in October and September.

When you truly experience that shift in life, while navigating through the heart break and being faced with who people truly are. There were those who surrounded us, as a family and individuals, quickly. We were held, although we felt like we were floundering. There were others who couldn’t face it themselves, honestly no need for excuses, when a family is mourning, your excuses truly mean nothing. People make interesting comments and phone calls when they don’t want to face the truth of death – we certainly did not want to. Many like to make it about them, its not. Never was. Especially those feeling feelings spurred by guilt. Alignment, through pain. Growth in a very unexpected way. Ugly crying for days and not caring who see’s you, pushing through a level of – honestly who fucking cares.

If this loss has taught me anything, its to truly be me. When a distant family member told me they forgot about me and my sister – the bookends of our family, but really only cared to see my parents and Grama… or the comment from someone not having the balls to see a someone standing beside a casket, or the friends who are “always there” and yet only through a message, or the one who called a financial advisor to “ask if its true” and then showed emotion as if they cared (they never did)… it was a new level of hurt and pride. Pride for the fact that, that comment(s), relative and others, really doesn’t matter in the big picture.

What matters is those who pulled in, pulled together and held tight. What matters is supporting where it needs to be supported, understanding and kindness. What matters is true kindness and compassion.

Four weeks ago, my brother passed away. The last day I spoke with him, the last day his soul was on this earth with us in his body. The last day I posted. How does one move on when a piece of you, that you have had for almost your entire life, is gone?

As I began writing this a few weeks ago, I clearly heard, ‘I am not just here or there, I am everywhere’ a true reflection of the infinite love and connection, lord do I wish he was still with us in person…

When my website name came to me, Your Life As Art, I had no idea how prevalent this ‘tag line’ would become in my life… having suddenly lost a few close to me, others sadly sick and knowing their time was coming, regardless, the photos, the memories, are fucking priceless.

Our daughters first hockey game back… since her last game that day, the same moment we talked actually, within the first 3 minutes she scored…

Forever 444