As I was climbing into bed, shortly after 815pm, I looked out the window and realized my timing was just perfect. 🥰

As I work to clear emotions, I have a lot coming up. Much of which is showing gratitude to my caring heart during earlier times as an empath this can be exhausting.

One thing that hit me this weekend is a reframe with our kids. During the past two years they were forced to get even more independent, not by choice either. It weighed heavy on me with every single email or call from the school about what was changing and if in school or online learning etc. We stopped listening to the news, it’s very toxic (and bought and paid for). The guilt trip of them being home, was heavy. I’m grateful I could be flexible with times when needed, when they needed me.

Suddenly, they didn’t need mom to do this or that anymore. It was a very uncertain time, times actually as it was off and on. The past two years, well I’m glad I take photos any moment I can because, the last two years was a blur. Straight up.

Although our babies aren’t babies anymore, it’s slightly surreal. I continue to love every single stage with them. Also that they still are so inquisitive and question. When they were younger, yes it felt annoying at that time. My mind was “busy” and full, and hurt. I know now the important of Self care, true self care, not shopping or nails, like going deep with yourself. I welcome them to question, I now question so much more myself.

One thing that makes me feel really good is clean sheets! The spring like weather was beautiful inspiration to get all of our beds freshened up this weekend! The kids maybe don’t need me for everything anymore… (um mom hello embrace this, they are learning responsibilities and um you don’t have to do it 😂!!!) BUT what I can do for them… something that as a teen and even heck as an adult it’s not always top of my list (laundry), but especially sheets, easy to forget. I can help them with and still do for them. Making their beds completely, clean sheets and blankets. Makes me feel cozy thinking of it!

Admittedly… it’s too fucking easy to allow your mind to talk shit to you… simply thinking of “all I have to do”. I’ve learned, the best way for my brain to function with less anxiety is to write down the things I needed to do, for the next day, that evening as intentions. When I write them as intentions on the evening or day before, this seems to have a different effect on my brain than if I were to write a “to-do” list that morning. That, even just thinking of a to-do list, I feel a slight tightness in my chest.

Today we accomplished…

• GF Bread Loaf – still in trials 😬
• Energy balls
• Kombutcha tea batch made 😍
• Kombutcha flavoured batch bottled
• Made batch of home made Goat Cheese
• Groceries
• Alot of relaxing
• Home office time
• Family visit
• Bed shortly after 8pm to write 🙏

If I would have wrote all of these tasks down for the day, half would not have been completed. My brain would have been overwhelmed.

Going with the flow. Being in the moment. I had a perfect opportunity to do each of our bedrooms each on specific days for separate reasons, it worked perfect for me to actually commit to the task and do it, among many other things I did yesterday that I hadn’t planned, AND have time for me. LOL Yes, this for many reasons is the reason. The more I am me, the more I am in the flow. The more I am in the flow, the more productive I am. The more I am me, in the flow, productive, the more I am happy and authentic.

The mom I want to embody for my kids. Real life, as an empath. Yes, feeling this much may not be for everyone, lol you do need to be careful, guard your heart, your energy. Simply being IN the moment and trusting whatever is happening, that I need to find a lesson to learn something for it… the more I say yes to me, the easier it has been to communicate. The mom who loves unconditionally, but will always have chores expectations, more hands make light work!

I also, always start all of our bedtime diffusers at night. When they were little, we did oils every night, Snuggled up in bed. Thank you covid for the extra push for my kids to grow up… 😢 I will always oil my babies backs up whenever they now ask, but for everyday we do bedtime diffusers!!!

Tonight’s Blend…

• On Guard – Protection
• Tea Tree – Energetic Boundaries
• Petitgrain – Ancestry
• Breathe – Breath

With this spring equinox… what are you able to release, who are you able to forgive, how are you able to move forward into authenticity?

We can be our BEST self, when we lean into our hearts, authentically who we are deep down, our ethics, values, our dedication to our own healing journey. Remembering everyone’s journey is unique, everyone has varying levels of healing physically and emotionally. Especially if there have been any illnesses or injuries. TO OUR OWN TRUTHS!

Which has just helped connect… the distinct block that was being felt between my upper and lower chakras. That I was able to break through this week. I now understand the disconnect even better now! Back to when I was 18, before my surgery.

Most of all, I want their kids to know their mama isn’t “perfect”, first off I set my own standards so that’s why this does not matter! Saying someone is perfect is judging them based on someone else’s standards. I am me, I will be the best person I can be, but I will have ups and downs, just like they will, just like their dad will, just like everyone does. ♥️

I am so grateful our kids have been so understanding at times. The weekend my husband had his 2nd surgery (YouTube video about how all of that helped trap emotions in my body, which caused intense physical pain), I came home from dropping him off and the kids and I went in the garden, I was also, I admit, using it as a way to blow off some steam as this was AFTER we found out the 2nd surgery was temporary and he would be most likely coming home with 6 weeks of antibiotics through an IV 3 times a day 😣! I was forcefully weeding the garden, yes with the collarbone pain that had already started as well. Holy shit looking back, I was a bit of a shit show. My brain is very much still healing from all of this.

I came into the house, the kids were making something in the kitchen, I’m pretty sure they were making dinner for them and me, when I told them I was having pain in my lower back and would need to lay down. I came in, laid down and could not get back up. The pain I was in was intense. Which then made the mom guilt absolutely horrible. Then, I couldn’t tell my husband, because that would just make him feel worse, because he’s in the fucking hospital again and can’t do anything and now more unknowns (yes he also felt this frustration), it just sucked. Thankfully my kids could bring me food and water. My son helped me roll over so I could get out and hobble to the bathroom. My saving grace was we had inhome massages booked for the Monday already, obviously his was cancelled cause he still wasn’t home, but I was able to get my SI joint released and I could move again!

I’m grateful my kids know mommy can’t and won’t do it all. Neither does dad. They have seen us vulnerable, age appropriate obviously. They have heard us talk about how we have tried or think we have to, putting expectations on ourselves even, which can be sometimes impossible to reach. I’m grateful they know feelings – the various wide range of feelings, are SO fucking real. REAL LIFE feelings that if you don’t deal with, you will one day be forced to. Feelings that, if need to be released or forgiven can feel like weights literally being lifted off.

I am SO grateful my kids know and understand it’s OK to ask for help, and have real life examples around them ❤

Our kids may not need me to make every meal, wash their clothes, do their hair, choose their clothes, etc etc… but they will always need me to show them the importance of being a real human being! Feelings and all. If we were completely truthful they would have seen a wide variety of emotions the past year and a half. Because they experienced alot themselves as well.

I’m grateful our kids know and see, that healing takes time, it’s NOT an easy road at all sometimes. This can require alot of patience, understanding and Unconditional Love, even if at the time you may not in that exact moment like the person (whoever it may be). Within the 2 years, the year and a half has been our greatest life shift and life lesson.

Plus… I will always be happy to make your bed and fill your diffuser!

(Especially because for some time… for each of us, this was our comfort area, where alot of time has been spent. Which was ok, I can now release that memory… that we were in protection/grieving/healing mode, it was ok!)

It’s interesting sometimes in life how it unfolds. As I walked into our bedroom this morning, towards the big picture window with a view of the green space of our back yard I said out loud, ‘I just love our bedroom space so much’. My husband was barely awake and he mentioned the last 17 months and how he wouldn’t have survived in our old bedroom (with using the knee scooter) as it was very tight and alot of angles.

We were reminded, back in mid summer of 2019, receiving our building permit, after we had requested a 2020 permit and spring start date. We were given 6 months to start or loose the permit deposit 😑! We were stressed and feeling the pressure.

Our foundations went in, I believe in Aug/Sept and the framing was started in December.

March 2020 it felt like the world came to a halt. Confusion, uncertainty, worry, frustration on so many levels. We were living in not just the uncertainty of the world and our health, being told to fear other people. It was the biggest, what felt like, psychological attack ever.

The Everyday life prior to things stopping mid March 2020 (pretty much exactly to the date 2 yrs ago)… life was busy, very busy. Both kids in sports, school, working, household, some sanity for myself, it was alot at times. The only benefit to 2 years of “covid” is life for everyone took a giant step back.

It made complete sense suddenly, why our building permit was issued when it was. Our project was well underway when covid started. However with our project well underway, we also had a significant addition to our mortgage to pay for the additions, and were now in a time that we didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen. People were literally being told to stay home, fear, so much fucking fear. My nervous system was seriously damaged on so many levels.

It is SO important for people to be doing the work right now. To dig deep into yourself, even prior to March 2020, what did you push down and what do you need to release (this will take time). With so much uncertainty that we were living with, I then had the pressure on me of kids at home now, government propaganda which seemed to change daily and weekly of what and who to fear, would we be allowed to keep working as well? Will people want people in their house to do work?

Seriously, psychologically this has been so damaging to everyone’s mental health. I’ve been a mental health advocate for years, for myself and also loved ones. There is nothing to be ashamed of for asking for help, especially with what we have all been through on so many levels. This is where “our government” has failed us, seriously.

I am grateful I am able to invest in me. Probably helped that we couldn’t go anywhere the past 2 years, so I have literally used money from our savings to support my and our mental health. This has been a back bone of my “fight”. So many things do not add up, real science comes out and it’s ignored, the government pushes the companies producing the products (with complete immunity) to tell the people the 4th is now needed. There comes a point where MY body, MY health is so much more fucking important than them cashing in again. The past 2 years attempted to ruin my mental health, I am grateful I was awakened enough to see it and ask for help, vs just literally falling into line.

I know people whose health has been ruined in the past year as well. The “health care system” is not built on health, it’s built on sickness and is supported by you being sick. True health and wellness is rarely if ever promoted by doctors or especially by the government.

We have been living in a space where literally the government, which is a very small group of people, make decisions for the collective based on what they want, not the people. Yet so many are breaking free of this matrix. So many are seeing the truths, feeling the difference. Like I did with my health, or my husband with his.

The Healing that people need, truly need, is so far beyond what the government deems necessary with their sick care. The Healing we need is on an energetic and spiritual level.

We have continued to be reminded of this. On a spiritual level, raising up our frequency, looking at our shadows, being in a position where you literally have to say, ok, I will trust what is unfolding to work out for my highest good.

But then, do the work!

Looking back on my life, I can see where the challenges presented themselves and then the growth happened. It’s not straight and narrow though, it can be messy, it will hurt, it will be scary at times. Your heart will lead you. My heart has led me, it’s been so fucking scary at times. But, if I hadn’t walked through what I did, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So for that, I am grateful.

I am grateful that while planning our additions and then in the design phase, we also brought in the Feng Shui elements to our living space. Which then flowed out into our existing living space. A beautiful sense of peace, completion and anticipation.

Ironically, during this renovation journey of ours making this house a home, we have literally changed every single room, to meet the needs of our family. Many of the spaces we have lived in or through renovation. Challenging, however it’s also like a blank slate. As an artist, what can you do with a blank slate… create whatever your heart desires! Sometimes when you feel the pressure to do, this is when you may also experience alot of road blocks. When you are able to just be… watch it beautifully unfold, sometimes in ways you hadn’t even imagined as part of your designs or layout.

This mornings diffuser blend

• Serenity – the oil of Tranquility
• Wild Orange – the oil of Abundance
• Douglas Fir – the oil of Generational Wisdom

This morning I started my day, after journaling, in our home gym! Something I hadn’t done in a bit, due to pain, pain that I could not figure out but that had been plaguing me for so many months, May of 2021.

I didn’t over do it, it felt SO damn good. I was able to work my back, shoulders and arms with NO PAIN!

Truly grateful for my body talk session with Joanne ❤

I am not only gaining strength physically, I also am emotionally.
When you actively deal with the public every week day, it can feel draining at times – you never know what someone on the other end is experiencing or has experienced. Yesterday I experienced a phone call with a verbally abusive man. A call I had received for service, was provided only half the information so I had called him to verify his info vs the renal property. This information was refused to me, he then flipped and said “how about this, you are a dumb fucking bitch” and then repeated it about 3 times.

When you think of everything as an energy exchange, words can literally become like daggers to people. Words like this used to STING me very very hard, deep into my core. Sadly because many years ago this is how I was talked to by someone who claimed to “love me”. Its taken years of doing the work. Years.

As I was listening to a clip this morning, a fellow oil mama @Keeli.Nicole, she was sharing from her heart her experience with her own growth process and the importance of living in empowerment vs victim.

For years, I was living in a victim mindset, validating it because I was treated like shit for so long. This was done to me by… whoever.

I HOLD MY POWER.

I HOLD MY STRENGTH.

Living an empowered life, one thing I can truly say all of my personal development and inner work has contributed to. Rising up from the “norm” and creating our new norm within my own life as a woman, as a mother, as a wife, as a business woman.

What keeps coming up, is what you are being called to process and clear. The more we push emotions and feelings down or away, the less pain we are able to release. It literally becomes trapped in our bodies which is such a detriment to our overall health and wellbeing – physically and emotionally.

Generational healing is very real, many of us have been called to experience this practice which removes the stigma statement of “it runs in the family”.

IT ENDS WITH ME!

Choosing to step in to do the work, is choosing to heal – for yourself most importantly but also for your past and future generations.

You wont find healing with watching what everyone else is doing, you will find true healing by going deep. Looking at your triggers and how they feel IN your body. What emotions are attached and when that experience took place. Freeing the trapped emotions, is freeing mentally and physically.

I pulled cards yesterday for the full moon. In SUCH alignment!

Past -> Ten Cups (reversed)
Inability to experience joy. Dissatisfaction, through uncertain why – everything looks perfect on the surface.

Present -> Princess Cups (reversed)
The need to be be more receptive to beauty and love. Overindulging in imaginative fantasies.

Future -> Nine Pentacles
In an enchanted garden with perfumed flowers and singing birds the woman enjoys all of the luxuries and pleasures she has worked so hard to create.
Pleasure or sensuality. Fertility and luxury. Material prosperity.

I am truly so proud of “the work” I have been doing. It has been and continues to be transformational.

Last night’s and this morning’s diffuser blend. Bergamot – the oil of Self Acceptance, Breathe – the oil of Breath, Elevation – the oil of Joy, and Frankincense – the oil of Truth!

Updated… not long after publishing this blog, I made smoothies for my husband and I. As we tasted them, I said ‘this reminds me of last summer…’ which we both then had a flash back of last summer.

IMPROMPTU YOU TUBE VIDEO I felt drawn to share, more into my story of how releasing emotional scars can lead to physical healing.

This was actually the same face I had after I pressed stop and saw the recording length! Divine alignment is truly beautiful!

One thing that has been confirmed over and over for me, especially these past 17 months, is that I must let GO of expectations for myself and other people.

Without a worry of what anyones opinion might be for me. At the end of the day, its ME. In alignment with who my soul truly is. Not worrying of anyone else outside of the walls of our home. To some this may seem cold, but truthfully, for years my energy has been all over the place, for so many people.

Its time to call it ALL in home. To pull in, to honor my heart and soul. My truth. My words. My heart.

During my husbands healing journey, it was a challenging time, but also a time of deep, hard, growth. I was reminded many times over, when I would think of someone or want to help or fix whatever their situation might be. That’s not my job. At all.

It was slightly eye opening of that time. There were people who reached out and wanted the details. Then… barely, or if ever, heard from them again. I get it peoples lives are busy, much like ours used to be. It can be almost too “easy” to forget about what others might be living through, without a concern for their true overall wellbeing.

The piviotal point for me was during his journey, if something happened to someone else I could see/feel my energy being directed elsewhere, yet we had our own “thing” we needed to focus on – this is when it hit me – straight up, false relationships based on image have zero interest to me. I can feel compassion for someone without allowing my energy to be sucked up. If I cannot fix something, I can express kindness, compassion and simply move on.

I truly do appreciate family and friends, many of which we have seen true colours and I thank them. I truly do. Some have really risen up in big ways – not that they had to for us – they have for themselves which is truly amazing. This past 17 mths has taught me and reminded me how absolutely crucial it is for me to protect my energy and honor it first.

Could I have appreciated this lesson in another way, hell yeah. Cause receiving a phone call telling me that my husband “fell off the roof”… Im still actively working on clearing this – which also has ties to phone calls I am realizing.

• Infertility dr appointments etc
• When I received the call that my dads best friend had been killed in a motorcycle accident. He was like a 2nd father to me and truthfully it took years before I could think of him without bawling.
• My grandfather passing in the middle of the night.
• My brother falling off a ladder and in critical care with a serious brain injury.
• My co-worker and her mother being killed in a horrible car accident and the police calling late at night to try and find a way to identify as they found our card in the vehicle.
• My brother being in a vehicle accident late at night.
• My husband falling off a roof. Then following that multiple calls from his surgeon etc over many months.
• Then add in the normal mom stuff and phone calls about kids for daycare or school.

My nervous system had literally been living in fight or flight for so many years.

The release… feels good. Not selfish in any way. After all, I cannot pour from an empty cup!

Going with the flow and listening, trusting my intuition is a very cool feeling.

The snow storm this weekend was another reminder that we are still in a time of hibernation, to be 100% cozy inside – our home and ourselves. Ive totally felt the desire to get going on spring cleaning, especially in the garage and lower level. This snow however, its inside time. Inside our home and my heart.

Truthfully, many mixed emotions this weekend! Now that we are “allowed” in a sports complex we did something that we had done for so many years, prior to 2020. Honestly, our daughter was a babe and napping on the freezer at the game because we helped out at every single one. I’m truthfully flabbergasted that healthy people were literally not allowed in certain places because they did not choose to take a drug that was just invented. I’m glad we could experience a game with the kids, like we did, literally 2 years ago, however I won’t lie it stirred up emotions. Masks still had to be worn, yet in a week on the 21st the science changes and masks are removed. None of this makes sense, none of this is logical in anyway with any reasoning. We went into the blue room room have a drink, masks off in there because people are drinking, then you walk out and you are supposed to put the mask on, no! I couldn’t do it. It’s just such non-sense. I then felt much more comfortable as ME in my alignment and truth. However… it’s also very scary to know that for a long time, 6 months, people had NO issue having to take a drug with zero long term testing just to be able to keep up with their social status, sadly that was many people, we know many who did so they could still go out. However, both my husband and I have had profound health and body challenges, we have literally been forced to BE with our physical and mental health challenges – zero excuses. We either got stronger or sank. We didn’t have to think long about ensuring our choice was for the best for us and our kids.

Not only that but being out and various people and energies, I’ve reaffirmed how crucial the Healing requirement is for the previous generation. A generation where feeling wasn’t encouraged for them, just dry your eyes and move on. So much wasn’t talked about, it was just swept under the rug. Ever since I have found out about my own health challenges, I am very transparent about how the current “norm” is not benefiting us in anyway. Our generation, our kids generation are a beautiful example of showing the importance of feeling, to heal. Especially if grief is involved. Our kids have been my best teacher!

So I’ve leaned in this weekend. I was feeling some frustration, anger, the push pull of this is not right and makes no sense at all. My soul has really struggled with this, all beyond my control – to a certain extent – so what is within my control, ME!

Enjoyed time out with the kids and some of their friends, with my husband, seeing people we used to see all the time, literally 2 years ago, um almost exactly eh… weird… Then had a LOT of home and down time. Productive time as well as totally surrendering and leaning right in, to do “nothing” – which I think we need to drop that, because I was purposely laying in bed, watching Y&R episodes from the week with my journal and a pen in hand, for whenever something popped up!

We leaned in and enjoyed a great home cooked meal for dinner, tidied up and ready to relax. Diffusers were even filled at 6pm, nice and early for total enjoyment. Coriander kept coming up for me today, one I can say I have not touched in a while… INTEGRITY!

in·teg·ri·ty noun: integrity

1. 1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.”he is known to be a man of integrity” h Similar:honesty, uprightness, probity, rectitude, honor, honorableness, upstandingness, good character, principle(s), ethics, morals, righteousness, morality, nobility, high-mindedness, right-mindedness, noble-mindedness, virtue, decency, fairness, scrupulousness, sincerity, truthfulness, trustworthiness Opposite: dishonesty

2. the state of being whole and undivided. “upholding territorial integrity and national sovereignty”. Similar: unity, unification, wholeness, coherence, cohesion, undividedness

I am so grateful for the emotional uses of these oils, as I intuitively select the blends, they unfold to be exactly what I or we need.

If you are an Empath you have probably been feeling like you are on a roller coaster of emotions lately! You are not alone!

The uses of this crystal is quite powerful, I am excited to learn more. As I have been experiencing alot of electronics issues as of lately, various glitches or things just not working it was suggested to me to get Shungite crystals. So yesterday I picked up a bunch, these are just a few. I’ve placed one beside our bed, for myself, my husband and one for each of our kids. I also have one in front of our wifi router at home and also some in my office at home and now at work.

Oil Energy & Protection
100% go to first is Tea tree is the oil of Energetic Boundaries, the next would be On Guard (doTERRA) its our oil of protection.

When I look up Empathetic – oils to support — Geranium (Oil of Love and trust), Rose (Oil of Divine love), Forgive (Oil of Forgiving), Neroli (Oil of Shared purpose and partnership), ClaryCalm (Oil of Vulnerability).

Empathetic (overly) so more protection wise – On Guard (Protection), Tea Tree (energetic boundaries), Clove (boundaries), TerraShield (Oil of Shielding), Stronger (Oil of Protective), Oregano (Oil of humanity and non attachment), Holiday Joy (dT-Centered Celebration), Yarrow|POM (dT-Energetic Safety).

Honestly I would start with Tea Tree, you can put on the top of your head as well as down your neck and back. Easiest way to use is in a roller bottle with some coconut oil.

If using Oregano keep in mind, a pure potent oil will be very powerful and shouldn’t be used consistently more than 10 days in a row. 🙂 I SO love this stuff!!!

I also saw this update…

THE ENERGIES ARE INCREASING IN FREQUENCY DAILY NOW. CONNECTING YOU TO THE BEING YOU TRULY ARE.

There is a stillness in the air today, as if the world is on pause.

Things are slowing down to be felt and seen.

So many have their eyes down and aren’t seeing the changes around them.

But you are, you notice it all.

The strange movement of time.

The way nature is reacting.

That new exciting pull on your heart chakra and energy system.

It truly is an amazing time to have your eyes open to experience it all.

These energies around you are bringing in more change and we are in it now, there’s no going back, only forward.

We are in the Golden Alignment, the time of the light.

This is why you are here, now.

This is your mission, your calling.

It is time to take exceptional care of yourself.

Self-care and Self-love are the keys to unlocking everything within you.

As these energies increase and you begin to watch the changes unfold around you,

Being able to step back into your energy and anchor that light in, and share it out,

While feeling the love of Source within you, is the key to ALL of this.

We are all connected now with this alignment, this incoming light.

Feel that connection, that energy.

It’s only going to grow from here.

Energies today will increase, as usual.

We have more of the Shift energies coming in.

Galactic & Flux Energies.

It might feel very intense at times.

You might be triggered within your system to look at things you haven’t thought of in years.

These triggers are catalysts for release.

So much is happening now and YOU are the cause and the love of it all.

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate

You may need extra water in these higher energies.

Don’t forget to anchor and share out your light.

We shall walk through this time together, connected as one to the Golden Alignment of the Light.

Much love and light,

-SA Smith
AGirlintheUniverse.com

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