The other day, I took a bit of a leap, it actually just happened, not planned in any way, just happened, I talked and the words flowed, perfectly honestly!
Might be too much for some, it felt completely right for me.
What I found interesting was when I woke up this morning, I felt even more clear, I felt inspired to get up and get going. I am loving my earlier mornings and although not perfect, I am enjoying my morning routine and know it will continue to evolve into so much more with each day.
Writing the blog was not hard at all. Shooting the video, my words flowed, way more than what I had originally thought they would. If you’ve got 30 minutes you can get a really good feel for my story and what fueled my transformation to take me from feeling so much resentment towards my health and body to truly LOVING my body and appreciating, feeling gratitude for all it has and continues to do for me!
Push the fear aside. Writing the blog was easy. Posting on social media, made my stomach do flip flops. WHY!? Why does social do this!? The first thing that jumps to my mind is judgment and negativity. Even though its MY story. I PUSHED THAT ASIDE HARD! I hit the share button – NOT because I feel like what I did/do is what everyone should – no I shared because if more people had shared their story back in 2004/5 when I was truly struggling, when PCOS was this unknown taboo “women’s illness” I perhaps wouldn’t have felt so alone, isolated and broken.
The world needs more of us to share our truths, to share our story, and all the real raw parts and spread more love and positivity throughout the world. Regardless what you THINK someone else may say or think.
Another dear friend reached out earlier this week, one who we share a similar life experience. In the moment it shook me. Brought a lot of mixed feelings back to the surface. I allowed myself time to FEEL these feelings, to process them – for both of us. To be ok with a slight pull back, before stepping back into the strength and determination that is within me, and her.
Life is a journey, of loving yourself and living your best life – whatever that may be in that moment. Sometimes it is snuggled on the couch in a blanket, with a book, journal or watching netflix snacking on good food. Its also whatever fuels your passions and lights your heart up. Its the highs, lows and all the in between. Relationships, romantic, friendship, family. <3
I was allowing the opinion of someone affect my energy and how I was feeling.
In that moment, I gave away my own power because of someone else’s words, their opinion.
I told myself it was no big deal, which it really wasn’t, yet it felt like such a heavy weight!
Someone else and their opinion stole time from me. The power of the mind is unreal! Even without logical thinking, someone’s opinion becomes truth?!
NO!
Then, finding out that the opinion of that person, which was causing me emotional pain… was actually wrong!
The “weight” lifts, almost instantly. Not because I have to be right, no because I enjoy living in my truths, which means living with both good and bad, real life and no judgment. I do very strongly believe everyone should live their own truths, by being honest, integral, compassionate and conscientious to the words they speak. To realize I allowed time to be taken from me, and recognize that I simply cannot do that anymore!
The only opinions that truly matter are mine! Even my own opinions, may not always be truth, this is why we must be open to lifelong learning, to always growing, as I tell my kids all the time, we learn something new everyday and it’s ok to “not know” something! ✌
I felt inspired to share my heart today, and in a video ! A beautiful friend reached out to me about my own journey and curious if I could share my own personal journey with a friend of her’s who also has PCOS. Of course I said yes and that’s when I thought, its time to do an updated video and apparently my heart had a lot to say ;) 💗
There once was a time in my life I was ashamed of my body, my health and it was a container that held onto a lot of anger and resentment. Thankfully I was able to rise up, it may have taken me a lot of years to get to this point, and it will always be a work in progress, its 100% worth it.
To know that I am able to listen to my heart and soul, to allow myself to be my true me, to be ok at putting myself out there, at times, learning to care less of what others think. The truth of the matter is, each of us as an individual, is the only person who can truly shift our own life. I know this because Ive lived it, and like I mention in the video, we have all been through shit, lord knows that, some of us need more life lessons than others, a little bit more growth, sometimes its to grab our attention in a pretty significant way.
I am thankful for my journey, I am thankful for the people who have come, gone and stayed in my life. I am grateful for the life lessons – all of them good, bad and otherwise have got me to where I am today and for that, thank you. As much as I have thought about “going back and changing….” whatever – I wouldn’t be who I am today, if that happened. I am who I am today because of my life journey. Perhaps its because I have been known to be a stubborn firey red head, yes that has been true, I prefer to think of it as PASSION ON FIRE! 🔥
Energy truly is everything. Whether you believe it or not. Our physical, emotional and energy health is all intertwined and I believe wholeheartedly its this combination which has helped me achieve my current state of health.
Deal with the shit in your life. Whatever that may be. If you are physically sick all the time – aches, pains, cold, flu, whatever else… what are you ignoring emotionally or what are you hiding from yourself or others that needs to surface. This can be a BIG one for people. I know it was for me. I was freaking ignorant about my health and body.
Clean up your life. In more ways than one. The products you use in your home, on your body, the food you eat, the people you associate with. I am the type of person who gives people the benefit of the doubt, until they have wronged me, then my fiery passion lights up.
Make yourself the top priority. Even if you have kids. For me tonight, that meant using my 2 hours of complete alone time to read and write. Something that frees and lights my soul up. When the kids were younger, mommy would give herself a “time out” – when my husband would be home of course when they were younger, but even when they were old enough to get it, they both now appreciate alone time to decompress.
Do what works for you! Every one of us is different, unique and beautiful. No one’s journey is exactly the same as anyone else’s, although my journey may seem similar to someone else, it wont be the exact same. Baby steps, welcome change with open arms and trust in divine timing.
I truly am happy to help anyone who might be on a similar journey or who may have questions about how I am supporting myself, that is what inspired my video and even listening back to it, I truly spoke from my heart. Some things people may feel are too much information – this is my story and honestly, I truly believe the more people who actually step up and tell their story, normalize what many of us have felt like, it may help someone like me who at a point in my life thought my body was against me, hated myself and questioned “why me” all the freaking time. Yes I have health issues, the last thing I want to do is hide them, especially from my children and those I love and am related to, because if I do, there is a good chance my kids may have their own health challenges as well.
💫 When you shine a light on the darkness, the darkness begins to fade.💫
I truly did start out thinking I was going to make a quick video, and then my heart and soul completely took over. Its all good, because I believe there was a purpose in sharing, someone out there needs to hear these words, even if simply for encouragement. It felt really good in my heart. Ive mentioned my health challenges many times, but most of those times Ive held on tight to my emotions. My journey to become a mom is one that will always hold strong emotions for me, to remind myself of how dreams can come true and that these two children of mine truly are gifts from god who I love more than anything. But, as Ive learned, you must always always love yourself entirely first. Which I can now, without a doubt, say I do. No one is perfect and that is what is beautiful about life, its a journey, make it yours! ✌
I’ve mentioned before about my desire to pull back from social media. I feel like these past couple weeks I’ve been much more conscious about it. I prefer to surround myself with positivity! It’s actually surprising how other people’s opinions and negative energy can (sometimes quickly) bring you down!
There is an online local page that is supposed to be supportive of things in the community and can very quickly turn negative. I received a notification of something posted, so briefly checked it out. A post about a new business joining town, quickly turned from the new business “joining” our town to the negative closed minded opinions of others about what “this” town needs, one remark saying “here we go again…”.
I felt a twinge in my heart, I get both sides of small businesses, I get entirely the power of supporting local business. I’ve grown up, my kids have grown up, in small business. This is a part of our life. Supporting small town is so important. There is heart and soul in our downtown, in every single business in our town.
Running a business is challenging. So the fact that someone wants to open up a business in our town, rejoice it! Congratulate them! If you do not like or need what they sell, that’s YOUR choice! If it’s not the type of business you think should be joining our town… what is stopping you?!
Rather than follow the masses or allow ourselves to be directed down a negative path, it’s actually easier to look for a positive in any negative situation, than continue down the rabbit hole condemning someone else.
Rise up! Be an example for the children in your life 🙏🥰✌
It’s almost too easy to loose your true self. Who you really are. In a time when people are most connected, so many are actually disconnected.
Relationships we “have” online begin taking over parts of our life where we should be expanding, naturally, outward into the world and most importantly inward to ourselves.
The year began with such beautiful energy. I have however felt like my energy has been slightly stifled the past couple weeks.
I’ve pulled inward, pushed the outside world to a distance. Feel like I’ve for too long, allowed the outside world to influence and it wasn’t always in a positive way. Focusing on people who, really in the big picture, do not matter in my day to day life. Truth be told, the biggest part of this meant pulling back from social media. Focusing on ME and not what everyone else is doing. Limiting social has felt freeing. Not that I don’t care about the people I follow… but really, my life and my mental health is so much more important. Far too often it’s simple to get sucked in, when really what we need to focus on is our own life.
Yesterday morning I woke up naturally, actually at my normal time also! As much as I could have went back to sleep, I stayed up. I poured into me. I gave myself permission to slow. My brain has been quite active these past couple months. I have found when this happens I allow myself to get overwhelmed far too quickly, until I become conscious of my thoughts and actions! It’s taken me so much less time to shift, thankfully!
I started with a Turmeric tea in bed (coffee for the husband) and a blend in the diffuser. I selected the oils based on my intuition, trust in yourself and you will always be lead to the truth!
Ginger – The Oil of Empowerment
Geranium – The Oil of Love & Trust
Ylang Ylang – The Oil of the Inner Child
Frankincense – The Oil of Truth
Green Mandarin – The Oil of Pure Potential
Many of these I know their emotional uses, like Frank, Ylang Ylang, Geranium because they are well used 😉. The others… how fitting for this weekend! 💕
I appreciate my daily greatness journal. It provides me a beautiful start and finish to my day. I hadn’t meditated in a while so that was my next course of action. Helen Murray, who a couple years ago I did personal coaching with, has a beautiful Peace, Grace and Prosperity Meditation on her website as a free download. Go have a listen, it is like magic to calm and clear the mind! Helen has a beautiful way of speaking and beautiful energy about her.
This morning, this was the SourceMessage on Instagram. An account I feel very aligned with! Cheers to a beautiful day, filling myself up! 😘
Many of us can acknowledge and admit getting sucked into social media. This year, as a whole I have dedicated to being more purposeful, being more intentional and allowing that to reflect in my everyday living and online life.
Ive felt a pull to push back on social, for months now. To get back to the real me, which honestly was pen and paper, writing poems, allowing my words and feelings to flow. To capture real life with my camera, in the beginning with film and now convenient with digital, providing the opportunity to take as many photos as I can, not worrying as much about the perfect shot, because knowing that I am able to capture multiple. My blog and photos on Flickr. Both of which I had long before many of the “popular” social sites showed up and began dominating… Allowing my creativity to flow, without judgment, restriction.
There is life beyond social media, a tool that I have come to appreciate, but also one that I choose to not allow to dominate my time or life. Modeling for my children as well. Much of my realization and growth has been fueled through our home shifts and changes. All of which has been modeled by our current life.
I have felt this pull for a while, sure things can be “personalized” on these social sites – but its not true personalization. Many people we are all “friends” with, but really thats almost diluted the real meaning of what a “friend” is. 2020 will be a year of growth. I can feel it.
Bedtime truly is one of my fav times! Also one that can get too easily neglected. It’s time to bring some balance back cause when I feel good life is SO good!
Creating a bedtime routine is still one that is a work in progress. Which is ok! I had the opportunity tonight of time. Which let’s be real, a bedtime bathroom routine does not take that much time, it really is super easy! When you get out of your head!
Before I got in the shower I stopped. To admire myself in the mirror. I’ve learned to love my body. All of it. Stretch marks, c-section and various surgery scars… have made me the beautiful woman I am! I took my time. Which took maybe 10 minutes more than normal.
Freshly clean with a few of my favourite products!
I have a few favourite products that my skin really likes! Tonight before my shower, I did a little bit more than what I would consider an “everynight bedtime routine”. I filled the sink with some steaming hot water and as it was filling, I added 2 drops each of doTERRA Tea Tree and Balance! Tea Tree is amazing on my skin, especially for any pimples, I can feel it beneath the skin, put a drop on top, depending on the severity lol and repeat if necessary, it works SO good! Balance, well one of my first oily loves, it does just that, Balance! It’s so grounding.
After steaming my face under a nice large towel, I used the Eminence Strawberry Rhubarb Dermafoliant. It’s very neat, it comes out as a powder that you add as much water as necessary to use on your skin. My sink is SO super soft after using (and helps deal with any black heads too!).
These are a few of my favourite things!
After showering I use either doTERRA Verage Face Serum or Face Lotion with 2 drops of Yarrow|POM or Eminence Rosehip Firming Oil or Moisturizer each also with Yarrow|POM. Tonight I chose the Rosehip Firming Oil with 2 drops Yarrow|POM.
Can I also mention my Humble deodorant!Natural and oh my goodness it works without providing any discomfort to my under arms! Sometimes DIY makes sense, others it is worth paying every dollar and cent!
My skin feels so soft, hydrated and after saging my room and starting the diffuser it’s time for bed! Can you see the light blue tinge, ah the hydrating power of Yarrow|POM!
Relaxed, feeling at peace and ready for a good nights rest! Thriving As An Empath
Before going to sleep, I like to let my thoughts go… release them from my mind to create a blank slate for the next day. I’m working at this in the kitchen too at night, cause man it feels good, again back to clear surfaces. It’s when my mind flows best, when I also love to blog, a love of writing that I’ve had for years, back to my daughters age honestly. That I let go and it was a big part that I am so happy is back! This is a platform I feel I can truly be myself and thoroughly enjoy.
One of the last things I do before bed… I love my dailygreatness journal planner! Its how I start and finish my day and has helped me shift my mindset in so many ways! When we sit down and take even 3 minutes – it can honestly take as little as this! Really be honest with yourself. Let your pen flow on the paper. This beauty had helped me brain dump at night to allow an easier, graceful transition into the night and next day. I highly recommend this planner to any mom, business woman, dad, business man, human being on earth! This planner has the entire year, with a daily page, monthly summary, 90 day review and so much more! It’s my 2nd year with a dailygreatness and I am being so much more purposeful with it this year! 🙏 Click on the link above to save 10% on your own! You are welcome 💫
Ah life, it can be interesting at times. Feel like its a LOT and then come back into reality and literally calm.the.F.down!
I can honestly say my surroundings greatly contribute to the shifting of my energy. I was admiring our home and said out loud how much I truly loved it. Ive said this before, in various stages of renos. But this time it feels different.
When this stage is complete, we have completely transformed this entire home <3
This makes me so damn proud of us – all of us. Me, my husband and our two kids. In all our life together I have never truly “loved” where I lived. Mom and Dads will always feel like “home”, but its also their home. This home truly feels like us… which feels incredible! Knowing and now very clearly seeing how everything is coming together, has my heart bursting with so much gratitude!
A dream we saw on paper, then on screen, adjusted, edited, research so many options, costs, pros and cons. The numbers person in me has felt so much ups and downs, hills and valley’s. Pair together a numbers woman, with a much more stronger masculine side, with the “unknown” at times – which was almost the entire basement – an adventure x 2 that was, I have been forced to get comfortable with “the unknown”, to honestly learn to trust – without a doubt!
As I thought about how much I loved what our home was transforming to, a cool “house” version of US~! Which had me reminiscing on our journey as individuals, a couple and a family. We have all had some incredible growth, at times what felt like not given a choice, but alas a learning lesson. I am so proud of all of us and the home we have created together.
Thinking back, my kids younger years were a slight blur. I am so grateful for all the photos I captured, seeing the images reminds me of some of my fondest memories of them growing up, honestly some of my kids own memories too! Life was “busy” – before I knew that busy isn’t how you want to feel all the time. We were involved in multiple businesses, I tried to push my infertility pain aside, I had the beautiful “million dollar family”, I should be happy, yet I still was so angry with my body so I kept myself busy all the freaking time to not slow down, not deal with it.
Guess what, the more you push something down, the harder it tries to come up! Just freaking deal with it and move on with life. Counseling is an incredible thing! The power of talking, a genuine listening ear and most of all compassion.
A couple years ago I told my husband I wanted to really focus on what WE want – which was finishing our home so we could then all enjoy it. I have learned so much about myself along this journey that honestly, I may not have been urged to do. Like being ok with taking a great big leap financially to make this house our home. Its 1000% worth it! I can say without a doubt, I love our home and am truly SO grateful for every part of it.
That’s when it dawned on me, my surroundings completely play a significant part in my energy and how I feel. Its the visual. Clutter in my home or business is visually so over stimulating – in a negative way. De-cluttering, being organized, (our home being done), everything having a place – makes me feel so good. For some reason, I used to think I was weird, or that it was “anal” so I pushed against, which honestly was other peoples opinions! It really does feel good to ‘not care what others think’, but it takes a lot of personal work. I find social media can have a very strong negative pull at times. There have been days where I feel like I post alot, because I do. I get into an online vortex almost… which is also linked to HOW Im feeling ;) Yup all related!!! If Im feeling energetically heavy, I can get sucked into the mindless scrolling. The time “wasted” is very real. Especially when I remind myself that the people who truly matter are IN my life. Not “on” social media. As a photographer I truly appreciate photos, every single one is its own piece of art, which is very cool. One reason I gravitate more to Instagram because its mainly just photos an videos. Other platforms, granted all of them have this downfall, can be strongly negative, which affects anyone’s mental health! Lets just be real and honest about that.
I am much more conscious about my social media use, am I perfect at boundaries, not really. However the better I feel, the stronger emotionally I am, an obvious perhaps. But easier to not access social media as much. There will always be negative people, who will choose to complain about anything and everything. Another real factor on mental health because everyone has to deal with other people in their daily life in some way! Another important reason why I wanted our home to be a true reflection of us, our “nest” as my husband named it. Our happy and always safe place. Our escape from the world, if we ever needed it, our peace on mother earth.
As I stood tonight truly appreciating what we have created, I feel even more at peace.
All in divine timing was so key with every step of this project, which I can NOW see without a doubt, 20/20 vision! Every single hill, mountain, hole, valley we encountered, as I said we had a life lesson. So for that I am thankful. I will have even more appreciation for our home, our nest that I am so grateful for now! Which also displays that our “being happy” truly reflects off of our “being grateful”. Being grateful, feeds off of appreciating your life – the ups and downs, which can be more challenging when you are IN the moment. Yup I get that – We have ALL been there!
Right before bedtime as I am getting ready to unwind, I take some time to reflect. I find this time so important, especially when there are outside factors that could be having an effect on me.
How I spend my evening, greatly affects my sleep as well as the next morning.
Let’s be real. Other people’s lives can be absolutely fascinating. But is it really, “real life”?! Or is it judgment free?
I love photography, of all kinds! Also house plans and designs. I love social for that, but I’ve been feeling lately sucked in and lost, which isn’t a good feeling. A space that can cause anxiety, pass judgment, harassment, violence. I began by unfollowing the news, focus on the good in the world!
I’ve realized how “real life” is so much more than the social world that can suck us in, sometimes so very quickly!
Last night, I enjoyed a great sleep and started the day with my journal. It flows SO incredible! Setting the intention, pushing any fears or worries aside! Tonight, as I finish this in bed, I will be lights out before 11pm! A great achievement. We seem to be natural night hawks lol but we are working on this everyday!
Bedtime, sets the mood for a good sleep, for a good morning and even the entire day! Bedtime, once the kids are in bed, should be focused on me, unwinding, refreshing my own energy, versus various other people’s energy in posts etc, which the light from devices can be damaging to our sleep! Yes I have fell into this trap!
Tonight I remembered to honor MY routine. The way I unwind best. How else can I care for others, if I don’t take care of myself first! Something I also want to model for my children.
With the changes we are making to our home (which are freaking incredible) it involves pushing our comfort zone – ok I will only speak for me – MY comfort zone in a very big way.
Its gotta get messy before our dream can come true. I can envision it too, expected because my 1st strength is Futuristic. Every strength has its good and challenging traits. Its ok.
Today is the day OUR space truly begins the transformation, but today is when the mess starts, and its weighing heavily on my heart.
I remind myself, this is just a moment in time. It will be ok. Looking back I KNOW it will be ok, I mean hello look what we have lived through. Honestly I know we all had our own experiences with PTSD after the basement flooded. I know without a doubt I struggled. However we rise, we choose to honor those feelings and rise as the same time. Some days this meant doing as little as possible, relaxing, watching a show, movie or series, allowing space. This week has been that for me again.
Interesting actually as I write this I realized the kitty who we welcomed into our family, also has challenges with transitions. The universe works in amazing ways, we have been loving on our Missy, also being patient and giving space. The same as what I crave and need during, what can feel like heavy, transitions. She just needed some love and patience, to learn its ok to trust.
Ive learned in my life though, that when it feels really challenging, heavy, hard or deep… its literally on the verge of something that feels freeing, open, like a deep breath, space, love, time, abundant. Like an arrow that’s pulled back before its released. Gaining momentum, becoming even more focused, flows in fast and lots of it – if you allow the time and patience when preparing.
I can breathe my way into alignment ~Gabby Bernstein
Simply taking a few moments to be present, acknowledge what is happening and my emotions surrounding that. Also realizing the truth of this. Its pushed my emotional eating this week. In a very very big way. Alas its been 90% healthy and all gluten free by my choice. What I am noticing though, is how I feel is very also affected by my “diet”, no this isn’t the right word, I honestly detest this word, it gives the wrong impression – my mental health is very much influenced by my eating lifestyle!
This week my little girl, who loves to bake, made some fresh cookies – oh my goodness. They were gluten free too, because thats the only flour we now use in our home. I can honestly say I did not indulge like the old me would have – BUT I did enjoy more than a few! Yesterday we went out snowmobiling with family and stopped at a couple restaurants to refuel our bellies! The food was wonderful, however gluten free is much more challenging in restaurants, unless very careful. Its not as serious as a peanut allergy, meaning it wont kill me, however it is just as important because it can cause a lot of discomfort, pain, inflammation, bloating, various digestive issues… which happened to me last night and is still affecting me today. When I physically feel these ways, it most certainly affects my emotions, add in hubby’s house task for today and yup emotions peaking!
