“a hero is one who heals their own wounds and then shows others how to do the same”
Its interesting in life when you are IN something and then are able to look back and see the awareness. That is expansion within growth.
That was my last weekend, a feeling within that I just couldn’t shift, a knowing that wasn’t confirmed until that uneasy feeling was proven.
“a hero is one who heals their own wounds and then shows others how to do the same”
This quote, although not in my mind at the time, is exactly how I handled the situation, with grace and ease because of the deep healing I have done and actively still do on a daily basis.
To demonstrate, with love and compassion in ANY situation life may bring to us. <3
Macro rain drops on a plant leaf in the early morning. Canon R6MII + Canon 100mm f2.8L Macro
Ive always desired being a morning person, to enjoy the morning before joining the world for the day.
I kept hitting resistance, I would be good for a short time and then burn out. I would then burn out and also feel the pain physically.
Something has shifted. The desires have gotten stronger. I received a gentle push, in a direction where I would essentially have to be committed to rising early in the morning.
Over 3 weeks… and even on a Friday night, I honored me, and how I wanted to feel today. I was in bed before 10pm, I was asleep before 1030pm. As he and I both tossed and turned around that 3am time, same as the night before, interesting, he is also sensitive to the energy of the moon. Amazing… that tells me even more the alignment of this dog coming into our life, was divine timing.
Rediscovering the me that over the past 4 years, had dwindled away. Circumstances outside of me with literally zero opportunity to grasp control, with the outside world. Yet when I align with my internal world, the magic that aligns is confirmation I am within the flow.
If you are new to my blog, there will be a variety to read between animals in my life, the people and experiences in my life, as a Lifestyle Photographer I capture life as it happens and the beauty of nature and my heart expands as I share, doTERRA Essential Oils, Spirituality and Holistic Healing. I am a beautiful believer in standing in our own individual truth to find our true alignment with ethical authenticity to live in a state of truth and honesty being the only way.
The first step, choosing to listen to the intuition with gratitude and grace!
In my early mornings with the pup, it’s given me a chance for quiet, introspection in the early morning when it’s just me and him. Something I’ve honestly desired, to have an early morning wake up, for a while now but had never committed.
I was good when the kids were young, had to, right. Then 2020 years hit and I can see so clearly, hindsight is a beautiful thing, just how much wind was sucked from my sails!
Waves, is the best way to describe and process it all. With Love.
We’ve had Gunner in our life for almost 3 weeks and it was the jolt I needed. In the days between Becker and Gunner, I received a clear message as I was thinking ok maybe this is what I need to kick myself into gear and I heard, that’s the point mom…
Truthfully, even before Becker passed, even before he had a lump burst I had a deep small fear beginning to surface. Gunner is my 3rd dog, I always had a dog growing up at my parents, however when I was 18, that is when my first little man, Elwood came home. In the midst of a very unhealthy relationship. He was my gentle protector and demonstrated that one evening when a guy walked into the shop I was in and growled and came and sat in front of me. The year Becker came home, was one of the most challenging years of my life in literally every area of it. His life with me, he was a strong emotional support and he knew it without me even asking. He would come and put his entire body on me, when I wouldn’t want a single thing to touch me. The fear beginning to surface, was that this may be repeated, especially when I declared 2024 a year of healing.
The past almost 3 weeks, the desire to rise early, has been every single weekday by 5 or 530am and on the weekends by 7 – with the exception of the past Saturday when he got to meet his puppy cousin and he slept until 9am the next morning!
He has forced us to ground, to BE in the moment and to rise with the sun, in the best possible way. Much like the beautiful energy and existence of a child and their intuition. Fun and laughter of play time, the connection when he makes eye contact. To help pull us out of this void that we hadn’t realized had become so deep. Even with the healing we have been doing, individually and together, its evident some has been more surface.
Slipping deeper into trust, allowing the fear to wash away. Trusting that this IS the year of healing. As hard as it was to have to say goodbye to our Becker, we knew as he was aging and the day would come. I feel peace in my heart, regardless of what anyone else may think, the way things aligned for us was beautiful. As another fear, I hadn’t actually realized was deep within is that I would come home and find Beck or something would happen and we wouldn’t be here for him.
The day before Gunner came home, a prayer was answered, Beckers ashes came home. His spirit has been here the entire time, however it just felt right to have to have them back before we began this next chapter.
There are no coincidences in love, even with the heartache – nope not fun in the moment, there is growth, there is expansion, there is healing. When you trust those intuitive hits, magic happens. With so much gratitude and love!
My wee handsome Gunner at 10 weeks Copyright Pamela Zmija
As I sit here on June 2nd, I never would have guessed I would be here at the beginning of May.
On May 6th, our family life took a sharp turn when a cyst burst on our senior dog, Becker’s, chest and we took a step into the unknown.
May 19th, early in the morning, I woke up and something pulled me to Instagram, I even resisted and thought to myself, why? I don’t need to take a step into others lives before my own. The pull was strong, ok just go on and see what it is that I need to see. As I opened Instagram, the first post that popped up was from the same breeder we got our Becker from, a yellow male available. As soon as I saw it something pulled on my heart strings, but then that sinking feeling entered, something will happen to our Becker. I even said to myself, no our Gunner isn’t born yet… I closed my phone and went about the morning.
Our Becker May 18, 2024
Merely hours later, our sweet ol man Becker, unfortunately had a bad seizure while we were out gardening. I am truly grateful both my husband and I were with him. Time felt so long, and yet it went very quickly. While we were in the vets office, after saying goodbye to our sweet boy, I left the room and went to the washroom, as I was returning, I looked up and saw 1:11 in big bright red numbers.
Truthfully, the time leading up, after the cyst burst and doing wound care for him, we knew we probably wouldn’t have a lot of time with him, we knew we needed to stay close to home, which is why that long weekend the option of heading to the family cottage, was a firm no for us. I realized a few days after he passed the weight I was holding during that time.
The next morning my husband asked me to reach out to the breeder, to get our name on the list. At that time I let him know what I saw on Instagram. At the time we had my parents dog with us, which we were so grateful for. She was able to have a full week with her best friend, she understood he wasn’t well and she did so good with him. She held our hearts the week and a half after. When I was typing the email, he threw in another thing he wanted me to ask… do they have any upcoming litters that have Becker’s dad in the genealogy.
Tuesday morning I received a response back from the breeder, 10 min after I cancelled our Becker’s auto food order, the reminder came in late on the 19th. The breeder had a few options for us, they had a dark yellow male available by May 30th, a light yellow litter for mid June and then the next litters would be approx August and September to head home. My intuition already told me, when I saw 1:11 I knew Beck was at peace, and we were on the right path. Truthfully, the time he wasn’t well, I was totally off, I was out of alignment, I was seeing angel numbers literally one off, I was living my daily in fear and worry, when would it happen, would I find him, will I know when to make the decision… Saturday evening, I verbally said out loud, ok I surrender and I will know when the time is right and will be in full alignment.
We committed to going to see the little dark yellow male on Sunday, before Sunday our family had already emotionally decided. The following Thursday May 30th, our Gunner came home.
He is such a laid back pup, plays hard and then crashes, already loves his family unconditionally and is my wee little shadow. His great, great granpa… is Malloy, Becker’s dad <3 He is also cousins with my parents dog!
Why did I lean so hard into my intuition for this little guy… because when we moved to this house, our Elwood lived here with us for 2 days and then sadly had a seizure and we had to say good bye. Im grateful both my boys had the BEST lives and each almost reached 13. A couple days later I emailed the breeder to get our name on a list for a yellow male, a few days after that we received an email, that our boy was born. It felt surreal and I was rocked. My Elwood was such an emotional support for me and as much as I thought I had healed, Becker stepping in took me to the next level. Our kids were young, 3 and 4 at the time. Becker was the best dog to raise our wee kids up with. He loved on them hard and he truly was our loving protector with unconditional love always. I deeply felt that our Elwood moved with us, to know his family was ok and would BE ok without him, because we would also have our Becker.
As much as it hurt so much emotionally that Sunday, I knew Becker knew we would be ok… To know that he is at peace and had the best life. When I took the photo of him on Saturday in our front yard, it deeply reminded me of the photo I took of our Elwood, in our back yard, the day before he passed. As soon as I looked at the photo, I had a sinking feeling it wouldn’t be long, to the extent of thinking there’s no way it could happen again…
I had to lean in, I had to trust the process.
I had to turn ALL fear of judgment from others OFF.
To lean in FULLY to the love and connection with this beautiful boy, who was clearly brought into my awareness for a reason to join our life as a family. As much as we all miss our Becker, I am truly grateful and thankful that he had a very full life with us.
Excited for this next stage with Gunner, whose name Ive had tucked away in my heart for a good handful of years. I did a lot of healing with my boys Elwood and Becker and its now time for deeper living and connection within me and the world around with baby Gunn!
Gunner’s mom is a lighter yellow lab and his dad is a fox red lab. We were able to see his dad when we went to see him, he is a beautiful tall male. We suspect Gunn will be a big boy!
I never would have suspected at the beginning of May that we would ever be here, truly feels like divine intervention!
Hes been a good little boy, receptive to all of us and has even begun using the bells on the door the odd time, as we teach him to use those to let us know he needs to go out. Last night he slept through the night and Friday night he stirred when I got up to pee, so we had an outside bathroom break/quick play time and then I put some of the Balance and Serenity oil mix I was using with Beck and Kels, the night before went 5.5 hours straight (we also had a later night!).
Lilac’s instantly take me back to my childhood, specifically pre-teen, actually freshly double digits. We had lilac bushes at our house and I just adore the smell!
I had the opportunity to get out with my big and little cameras.
My Canon R6MII with my big 180mm f3.5L Macro lens and just before I left, I also grabbed my Canon RP with the 35mm f1.8 Macro lens. With my biggie and little out on an impromptu shoot. I am OBSESSED with my macro lenses!!! 😍
Canon R6MII + Canon 180mm f3.5L Macro Lens Copyright Pamela Zmija – All Public Photos Available for Custom Order
I am continually blown away at the crisp quality of this lens. As someone who was once worried of having to make a switch to mirrorless to grow beyond my 5DMIII (which I just learned is end life!), I am loving the main and backup camera’s I have! What I love about the 180mm lens is the reach, so shooting from ditches on the side of the road or trail, is MUCH easier to capture the image I see in my mind! Its also one I desired to have the extra space and reach for insects, birds etc!
Canon RP + 35mm f1.8 Macro Lens Copyright Pamela Zmija – All Public Photos Available for Custom Order
This was my first time using the 35mm on macro and I am incredibly impressed! It is a great macro tool to have for opportunities like tonight. I was able to get super close and create an incredible artistic feel to the lilac’s. You can feel the love coming out of the screen!
I Lilac You 💖
1st 📷 Canon R6MII + Canon 180mm f3.5L Macro (With the RF to RF adapter – I use my EF lenses!) 2nd 📷 Canon RP + RF35mm f1.8 Macro
What do I love? The reach of the 180, totally different feel/look, amazing reach when bees are around or if the blossoms are higher. The 35mm is the lens I picked up with the RP when I entered the mirroless world, awesome camera and lens for walk around with less weight and I love the effect of the super close up Macro. I was impressed at how close I could get and the images created! I’ve also got the Canon 100mm f2.8L Macro lens, it does auto focus much quicker than the older 180mm (I got super lucky this winter – had my desires set on this beauty and found her used 🙏), the 100mm is also a beauty and will get her out later 😉
LOVE this time of year!!!
If you know of any amazing plants, flowers blossoms let me know 😘
Pamela Zmija 2004-05-15 Canon R6MII + Canon 180mm f3.5L Macro Lens Do not copy or share. If interested in image contact Pam – Thank you!
Just feel into the peace of this image, the beauty of nature, the depth of the image with such clarity on the surface. Kind of like life, we never know what is ahead of us, however when we focus on what is present within our life, this is truly a gift.
If I may encourage you, whatever your passion is, even 15-30 minutes a day will absolutely fill up your soul! Im grateful when I lean in to the creative urges!
One of the best ways I support my emotional and physical health is aligning with my higher self.
The other night, we saw these gorgeous northern lights. Interestingly enough, I could only see this through my phone camera. When I looked up into the sky, I could see white, but no colours.
So I leaned in to trust. Leaned into the unknown and took the photos. I trusted what my husband was seeing and then, when I opened the photos after on my phone, my heart felt so big and expansive! 💓
At times life can feel challenging and difficult for you and your loved ones. The more we can lean into the feeling of this, is the best way to shift, to grow, to expand.
When a loved one isn’t well, it can feel like your life is turned upside down.
Our sweet fur boy, our yellow lab Becker will be 13 in early July. He has been a part of our family since the fall of 2011. Honestly, it was surreal how he came to join our family, quite quickly after our Black Lab Elwood passed in July 2011.
We knew our boy Elwood wasn’t doing well and as he was aging, knew when the time came that we would eventually get another dog, especially as our kids were still quite young.
We moved into our home June 30th. July 2nd our boy passed. The photos I have of him sitting in our new backyard, just watching over everything, laying in complete peace. Its like he needed to be sure his family was ok in our new place. He moved with us and then was content on us continuing on. Elwood was MY first dog. He was my boy and eagerly accepted his dad when he joined our life a few years later. Elwood and I were a package, a team and I spent so much time with him. After he passed, a couple days later I emailed the local breeder we get our labs from, knowing they typically have a wait list. Confirmed my email and a few days later, things got real. We received an email that our boy had been born. This is our Becker. Who was 1000% meant to join our family. I, honestly, struggled with my emotions after receiving this email that I wasn’t honoring my Elwood. Yet… I could quickly begin to see, HE did this for us. He knew Becker is who would see us through this next chapter of our life and well, there certainly were some crazy waves that we navigated through that year alone and moving forward.
There are times in our life that we need to step into the unknown, it wont necessarily feel good, it may feel sticky and hard. Especially when our emotions and feelings are triggered, in the best ways.
When we have unconditional love for someone, regardless of a person or animal, this elevates our life and theirs, in such beautiful ways and when it feels “hard”, the lower emotions that, lets be honest if we do not feel, if we just pack up in a box, its those feelings that boomerang back to us in sometimes very big expanding ways.
When in alignment, those big expanding ways will help you through the unknown. When out of alignment, the big expanding ways will create overwhelm and stress.
Know how to differentiate the two – just because something sad is happening, that doesn’t mean you are out of alignment, it means you are FEELING your way through it, and thats the best way to “get through”.
Also, get closer with your soul. Create that time daily where you can come together and align in even deeper.
Macro Image taken by Pamela Zmija Copyright 2024 Camera – Canon R6MII with the Canon 180mm f3.5L Macro Lens
