Your Life As Art Photography by Pam

It Gets Worse Before It Can Get Better

Think of anything you go and grow through, a lot of times it gets worse before it gets better. That’s the growth part.

This afternoon we were outside cleaning up our yard from the various construction activities during the winter. It felt SO good to see progress. To also feel progress. For brunch (we enjoy lazy mornings on Sunday) I made mini quiches and breakfast sausages. I was purposely keeping myself busy to not go outside.

Last week when all of this clovid-19 stuff began it felt, and let’s be real still does, feels so surreal. I was letting every decision about these additions stress me right the F out! Decisions I was forcing on myself that I clearly wasnt ready to make.

After we ate I asked my husband if he really needed me out there. He looked at me like I had two heads. Of course he wanted the help, he and our son were doing a great job but with more people we could accomplish even more. So out I went… I wasn’t informed of the loading requirements and began throwing whatever I picked up in the box for the bin… I was wrong and reminded multiple times that I also wouldn’t be fired from helping 🤣 haha I tried 🤷‍♀️!

We got alot accomplished! It felt really good! Visually I could see we were making progress and that is a huge factor for me!!!

As I was walking back into our house when we had finished, I looked into our back yard. I’ve always been able to “see” our vision on paper, it’s pretty awesome to see it in real life coming together. As I walked up to the door admiring the deck it hit me… It gets worse before it gets better! We lived this with each reno. Especially when the basement flooded.

We have this amazing vision for our family home, now conveniently have an abundance of time to get moving on our project again! Its wonderful to see each new stage, one step closer. In these times of uncertainty, one thing is certain, this home is exactly what we have always needed it to be and I am grateful.

I am also, honestly, grateful that we were able to negotiate a lower mortgage percentage rate before starting the additions which helps ease my mind while the world reconfigures itself, literally.

Similar to how many of us are feeling now. With so much uncertainty in the world right now. It may feel confusing, stressful, even fearful at times. There will be worry, wondering if you are making the right decision or how that could be. Any challenge we are faced is a challenge because we find ourselves in a position we have never been in or decision we have never made. Its growth. Ive learned on this journey in life this is the process, we all embrace the process in our own way. When it feels difficult, like you cannot reach the top of the hill, you take a few steps further and achieve your goal!

We will get there. We will all experience growth again, we will all rise up. At a time when it feels really bad, because we have not experienced this in our lifetime, if we all do our part, just like us helping in the back yard, we can reach our goal much quicker, by working together!

Take this downtime as an opportunity. How do you want to grow from this? How will you BE a better person and live your best life? How can you improve your living space to be more of a reflection of you?

It gets worse before it gets better…

Curious?

What is your vision of “better”?

A Patience Reminder

Earlier today I heard the radio announcer say that we were in a rainfall warning with up to 25mm of rain.

I instantly went negative. The rain, and alot of it, is still a big trigger for me. The more I’ve learned about PTSD, the more dots Ive connected.

We have all been through highs and lows in life. There are times that leave a really big imprint. When these imprints are negative and/or associate with trauma this makes it emotionally feel defeated and depleted. Literally. Triggers are a reminder of a significant event or time in your life, both good and bad. They are totally different for everyone, given we all live completely different lives. What could suddenly set it off, may not also be the root cause.

Rain is a trigger because our basement flooded.

I am learning how to best handle these triggers, whatever they may be, not just for myself but also my relationships with my husband and kids. Last night I was feeling really low. Allowing everything to stress me out, although I’ve been taught many times ‘patience is a virtue’! Stressing over various choices we need to make for the additions, one that I am totally hung up on and feeling very indecisive. Worrying of the business, most specifically our guys who have to enter people’s homes to fix their plumbing or heating. Hearing all the doom and gloom that is literally the entire world.

This shit happens in a movie NOT in real life!?

Then I walked outside tonight.

It is raining.

It smells so fresh, so new.

Cleansing.

Something I was stressing about earlier, felt exactly right.

A lesson in patience, again, reminding that sometimes chaos comes before the calm, and that’s ok. Confusing, but ok.

This sweet girl reminds me the importance of patience, space and trusting in the journey.

All good things in life take time. Now is when we need to give ourselves and the entire world time. A slight pause. To be ok with not always feeling ok, to be ok with the unknown. Honestly not a feeling I enjoy, however I am reminding myself daily, sometimes multiple times, it will be ok.

This girl reminded me today multiple times to trust in me, trust in the process. Most of all be compassionate and love. It’s not often this sweet girl will snuggle in our room, she herself is still working on her own fears that we unfortunately wont know of. So we must be patient, give her space, respect her and support her in over coming her fears to be comfortable in all areas of our home.

We are making progress, just like we are doing to help flatten the curve. A very surreal moment in life, one that most certainly will be a significant time in history.

As anxious as this can make me feel, as my husband reminded me this morning, I grab my oils to help calm… thankfully Balance was near by and did just that!

Reach for your comfort, honor your feelings. I can admit I’ve fell into some of my old emotional eating habits. Albeit they are much healthier than years ago, I could feel myself losing touch with my motivation. Shine light on the darkness. Call yourself out. If you feel yourself getting down, you aren’t alone and it’s ok!

Tonight a movie and popcorn with my girls, was exactly what I needed, my patience reminder! 🙏💕🌎

We can do this together 💗

Without a doubt, we, as a collective in the world, will get through this current situation.

A situation that, let’s be completely real, has never happened in our lifetime, perhaps not even our parents. Many of our grandparents were around during the war, albeit very different. I wont sugar coat it, this totally has my attention.

It’s not just me. It’s my kids, my family, which includes many elderly relatives, friends and of course our co-workers.

Our family business provides essential service for plumbing and heating. Yes some can be put off, re-scheduled if needed, others are true emergencies when it comes to heat and water.

Yesterday we made the choice to lock the doors. We are still cautiously operating our business to provide these essential services, however are reducing our interaction with people coming into our office.

For me this felt scary, scary to finally make that decision, worry that we were making the right decision and that we need to first and foremost put the safety of our employees and all the families attached to them as priority.

Earlier this week I had to tell someone we couldn’t come help them with their water issue, because people in that household had just returned from Cuba. This admittedly was tough for me, we obviously want to help when we can, but we have to put our employees wellbeing first.

As a mother I have to be very conscious of what my children could be exposed to.

It’s the unknown, the uncertainty that quite honestly has taken the most toll on me emotionally. We continue to do our daily norm of supporting our bodies and home, because that is our norm. I’ve honestly been reaching for my oils alot more recently, for emotional support. One of the main reasons I began using them.

This morning I woke shortly after 5 am. Something I’ve been striving for and my body has been learning to do naturally. However I’ve noticed I have been allowing my emotions and therefore my body, to be almost paralyzed in fear. I may have been up early, but the “what if’s” and worry circle through my head, until I finally get up and rush out.

That’s NOT a good feeling. At all, for me or anyone.

All the while we are also trying to make decisions for our last major renovation piece to our home. Decisions have to be made that I’m having a very hard time making. I need to take a drive, not only to look at other homes for some inspiration, but also to clear my head a little bit.

The uncertainty, while in the midst of some major renos, with a mortgage on our dream home, thankfully realistic, is slightly, no why sugar coat it, it’s been stressing me out. In a very big way.

But then I read something shared in our local FB group, a group where I had begun distancing myself because of the negativity. Last night someone posted about positives coming out of this pandemic. People are healing. Social distancing is not a bad thing. It can help you pour more into you, your home and most important your kids.

But we all have to do our part. We will get through this. I’ve seen so many posts about how cleansing this will be, a reset on life for so many people. Obviously I know the seriousness of this illness for so many people and my heart goes out to them.

As I rose early, I laid in bed and felt I needed to rinse in the shower. I find the shower, water washing over me, so cleansing. Before I got back in bed, my husband suggested I grab an oil to help calm me. He could feel how anxious I was feeling. Thankfully I keep a bottle of Balance in our room and within minutes was feeling a sense of calm and feeling grounded.

We can do this, working together, with compassion, understanding and patience.

World Peace Cookies

The world needs these cookies right now!

“WORLD PEACE COOKIE”
First off they are SO good!!! Chewy and soft but also has crunch – exactly what I love!
Second, but the most important…
World Peace 🙏💗
Division and greed has become very apparent this past week as the world shut down. Walking into the grocery store seeing literally no toilet paper, shelves empty, carts heaping with multiples of products. Fear, worry. I walked in the grocery store confident and calm, walked out heavy and exhausted! We need to be prepared, but in a realistic way, without feeding the spread of fear.
This pause, although inconvenient in a very big way, is offering us a bit of a gift.
As an introvert, it’s a given I love my home time, I am a homebody, but also love to explore.
This has literally taken away all our excuses before, which literally meant…
“I have no time…” 🙄
I realize this slow down is going to have an impact on our economy in a very big way, what I am talking about is a personal benefit to our soul.
We have been told to distance, major and even small events, seasons cancelled.
Literally being told to stay home.
OK… as I look around our space, one that has been in some stage of renovation for the past 4 years, there is a variety of things I can find to get off that mental to-do list!
Think of how incredible the world will be when everyone is forced to take a step back and just be within their own space. If you arent comfortable with it now, you’ve got the time to get comfortable! What do you need to do? Declutter? Organize? Shift furniture around? Clean? Meditate!
Third, these cookies are healthy and good for you! What we should be consuming to help our body is healthy nutritious foods to boost our immune system vs crashing. I’ve been there, done that when I was that person who was sick all the time, what you put in your body matters! A healthy snack, that also satisfies the craving! When my anxiety creeps up, I crave! 🍪
Sugar feeds illness. Support your body holistically and nutritionally so you are stronger to fight the germs. 👊
Go make the cookies and listen to a meditation!
Thanks Mom for the cookies 😘

Lean Into The Slow Down

I had to go to the grocery store to stock up on things we legit needed. The energy in the grocery store was honestly just gross.

I went in knowing what I needed, with a list, my buckets and my freezer bag, feeling calm and confident, but also cautious.

I left feeling so heavy, drained and exhausted.
I am grateful because I did not run into one negative person, everyone was polite which was so nice to see!
It was the energy of panic, worry, rushing… fear! All feelings that completely bring me down.

I literally stopped myself a few times in the grocery store to reground myself. Remind myself its OK. To be realistic of what we already have and what we did need. Thinking of others as well. Especially the elderly who may not have anyone to go out and help them stock up? Whose immune systems are more at risk that someone my age. This is a beautiful reminder to think of yourself first AND others!

I went in knowing what we needed, saw a few more things we needed and I had forgot, but then saw the various full, and some over flowing carts, the empty shelves, having to get way down to see if there was any more pasta sauce at the back, I could feel the panic begin to rise, was I buying enough, what if we need this or that, should I buy more pasta, oh I can’t because there isn’t any gluten free, but remembered we do still have some at home. Pasta sauce on aisle shelves that were almost completely bare, the toilet paper aisle… empty!
Which has me totally baffled… why toilet paper?! I had purposely been waiting for toilet paper to come on sale, I love the really big packs when they go on half price!

The cancellations, although understandable, honestly have blown my mind! When it was announced yesterday afternoon that schools will be closed for 2 weeks following March break, it really set in just how serious this is.

It hit me last night, maybe this is a massive step in truly slowing the world down. Forcing people into isolation, whether sick or not instantly slows the world, after the initial panic of course, whether we like or not. Yes it most definitely is going to affect the economy and every single business, in most likely a very big way.

However maybe, just maybe this could be a slight pull back and once we are through this, which hopefully won’t end up being as long as it could have been without precautionary actions, to then exponential growth for all. Growth financially and in time.

Literally cancelling everything, forces people (it should anyway) to stay in their own homes. I can think of so much I could do at home, that I maybe kept telling myself I “didn’t have time for…”. Even simply more time with my husband and kids! To really get comfortable with ME! To encourage my kids to do the same.

So I am being optimistic and realistic about life. Open up to the slow down. Supporting my body just as I was before, but with a little bit more intention. Grateful for our local stores and not having to go to the city. Please remember to shop local, especially living in a small town, we need to support our own at this time 🙏💗.

Although I feel like there is alot of fear and panic in the world right now, I also feel confident in how we have been supporting our family for years! I checked in with our Dr’s office Wednesday, I realize the importance of our modern medicine. I explained how our son was doing, improving everyday, they said to continue doing what we have been doing, it was obviously working because he continued to get better. Living a healthier lifestyle has boosted our health and happiness.

Also, big shout out to our local butcher for having ground beef! It’s by far so much better tasting and is already environmentally conscious freezer ready!✌

The light!

The light!
Sometimes it’s easy to see, when you get stuck in the darkness. When the light suddenly feels so good.
That was today.
The warming temperature, rain that smelled so fresh and the light!
The beautiful evening light!
My soul felt so recharged!
Mercury was also doing something this week, it was a full moon and its Friday the 13th!
Today I felt a huge motivation to shift the energy of our home, 4 years of a custom renovation has at times been heavy, but it’s the come back… that feels so good! Every single stage I’ve felt I have grown personally, as a family, professionally and am truly loving life, with all that happens in it. Being more conscious and present.
Which makes me so excited for our family. This beautiful light means the reno begins moving again and we are getting so much closer to our dream home
Soak in the beautiful light!
So grateful!

International Women’s Day | 2020

“Shed the Armor of Excess Weight” – March 8th (Thriving As An Empath)

As I opened the page to today’s daily message, my heart truly felt this, deeply.

For years, this was me.

“I don’t have to use excess weight as armor. Instead, I will practice meditation and visualizations to ground and protect myself.”

While speaking with an energy coach last year, she immediately picked up on my energy. Then she asked “What happened when you were 10?!” At first I did not know what she meant and then the words fell out of my mouth… my sister went missing. She was only 2. Thankfully she was found and completely ok. However as her big sister, 8 years older, that phone call was absolutely terrifying and apparently (and understandably) was stuck within my energy for many years.

Becoming a Mom myself, I have learned just how real these emotions and life is. Especially when we push things down hoping they will go away, not truly understanding the repercussions of this action.

When we know better, we do better.

As someone who is an emotional eater, I know I need to be conscious of my surroundings physically and emotionally. My body has honestly been through so much, multiple surgeries even before my kids arrived, tests, procedures etc. Really can do a number on you mentally and physically.

I am a healthy example for both my kids, not just my daughter. At one time I wasn’t, but when we know better, we do better! ✌

“Mom I need the throat spray”

My son said to me after hockey.

I immediately knew what happened. This happens if my kids have a sugar overload. And by overload I mean over a few days and typically at least one other factor. We honestly are much more conscious of the amount of and how sugar is used in our home.

At the beginning of the week my kids were home from school as their buses were canceled so my daughter made cookies for her birthday celebrations. Yes a slight indulgence of mine as well, she makes them with gluten free flour!

Later in the week we had 2 birthday celebrations with our daughter, plus leftover desserts and pizza.

Sugar can be addictive. It can also seriously affect your immune system. Anything that isn’t good for us can do this, for example smoking. When my husband smoked he sounded like he was always sick. Since quitting his health has improved SO much!

When my son asked me for the throat spray, I took the time to educate him on this. Not punish or ridicule him in anyway, but for him to understand a connection, something to bring him conscious to how sugar does impede his (everyone’s) immune system.

From my personal experience, I have noticed this with all of us. If I also do not get enough sleep, my immune system feels like its having to work even harder, then I’m even more exhausted, irritated, unhappy. This week we also had a couple of late nights.

When the kids are honest that they feel off, they can begin to see their own healthy patterns and adjust as required. Up the water intake!

Today as we were driving to the mall I could feel myself tensing up, it took me a bit to put the connection together myself, but it totally came in and made so much sense.

I was much more proactive for myself this week, being conscious of my sleep, I had a couple late nights, what I was eating, being a bit more patient with myself, also supporting my body with my supplements. I’ve been aiming to be more conscious about taking them because I KNOW how good I feel when I do it? I took some additional supplements both Wed and Thur night. I know its helped. I know for next time I will also give the kids that boost as well in addition to their daily morning and night oil routine!

I am learning to trust in myself and honor my words. Allowing space for any reroutes and new paths. Grateful for the ability to always be learning and share these life lessons with my kiddos!

Everything in moderation, as a mom I honestly do not want to heavily restrict my kids, I want them to be able to feel how they feel, adjust when needed and still “be kids”. Yes at times that means over indulgence and then recovery, it’s an opportunity to learn, vs me simply telling them NO!

Yes we have a throat spray we use in our home, it’s a DIY with essential oils and it works fabulous! 😊✌

I use an empty On Guard bottle to make the spray in.

Top with distilled water and it’s ready for use! 1 drops Cinnamon, 5 drops On Guard all others 2 drops

Using the Infectious Protocol from Symphony of the Cells is also another very effective option to blast out any germs!

From our experience, these options have assisted our family in boosting our health and wellness. At times when we know the triggers are less sleep and overwhelming sugar amounts we are also conscious of this moving forward and encourage sleep, rest and copious amounts of water! My boy is very much like his mama, we need our sleep and our healthy habits! A few years ago, our son wasn’t feeling well, I made up the throat spray and could see improvements, but when I looked in his mouth I also saw some white spots that freaked me out. So made an appointment with the Dr’s office just to be sure. He was checked out, throat swabbed and we were told to continue what we were doing at home, it was working! Incredible reassurance because it was the throat spray and oils that we were using! ✌ I mention this however because sometimes modern medicine with holistic health measures is what we need, other times, we need that reassurance we are doing what needs to be done. One thing I’ve learned is by rushing to the doctor for antibiotics, can actually do more harm to your body by killing off healthy bacteria. From our experience this happened to both myself and my son and over the years we have boosted our health back up naturally!

All The People

I can admit it with a great big happy heart that although I have times I can appear extroverted, I am 100% an introvert!

Beautiful sunny day, my daughters birthday and we took a trip to the city to the mall and costco…

Yes ALL.THE.PEOPLE!

Don’t get me wrong, we had a great day, wonderful company, alot of fun and laughs… but yes lots of people!

Before we left I prepared with our all natural On Guard Hand Sanitizing Mist. This isn’t because of the fear being currenty spread about the latest illness going around, it’s because it’s what we use in our home all the time instead of the typical hand sanitizer you see everywhere, that stuff I personally do not recommend or use. I’ve personally had many issues with my health with endocrine disrupting chemicals and have had amazing success at switching to a holistic lifestyle, so this is what we use and recommend! Natures best 💫

Happy to be home, lathered up in some of my fav oils, interesting because I’m really not a floral person but these totally calm me, and chillaxin! I truly am a rural girl at heart, always have been always will be ✌💗!

Rose over my heart, Neroli up and down my inner arms, magnolia on my jaw line and neck, jasmine behind my ears.

Added Amavi to the roller mix down my neck and then Sandalwood and Tangerine to the diffuser!

For my oil lovers out there let me share the emotional uses behind these oils. Truthfully though I do not remember all their emotional uses, I go for what I am drawn to and honestly its always bang on!

Amavi – The Oil of Balanced Masculine Energy
Jasmine – The Oil of Sexual Purity & Balance
Magnolia – The Oil of Compassion
Neroli – The Oil of Shared Purpose & Partnership
Rose – The Oil of Divine Love
Sandalwood – The Oil of Sacred Devotion
Tangerine – The Oil of Spontaneity

Source – Essential Emotions 8th Edition

I Can’t Re-Heat Them | Pierogies

The other night we made home made pierogies! They were SO good. We have some more testing and tweaking to do, but for a formerly non-Baker this felt SO liberating!

Having a unique digestive system, my hubby and I had to work together! Thankfully we make an awesome team in the kitchen. Could be because one of us used to cook professionally… and the other is called Mom ;)

I learned many years back that I had a unique digestive system, I was just too ignorant back then to listen to my body. Honestly though, part of it was I didnt want to be an inconvenience to anyone. So eating at someone elses house, at a restaurant. It was many years later that I learned I couldn’t eat any reheated starches. Rice, pasta, potatoes etc! If I did I would experience almost immediate pain, major discomfort, bloating and multiple bathroom runs. Let’s keep it real, but mature ;) It hit me one day, I had reheated my lunch at work and not long after eating this all began.

Alot is mindset. Because I KNOW I cannot reheat these foods, at times causes me to over eat. I “justify” because I need to enjoy it now… BS!

We are getting so much better at just simply making smaller portions. At times this doesn’t happen and I feel guilty about throwing food out that cannot be eaten again.

Here’s the thing. When someone has something physically wrong with then, like a broken limb you can SEE and understand why they need different support.

So why, in the big picture, should I feel any different with my health issues and supporting my body the way it should be?! I SHOULDN’T and yet I DID!

However since the early winter, since I was given a taste of how even more amazing I could feel… its NOT worth it! Its not worth putting my comfort and health aside because I “might” be an inconvenience… especially when I’m not!

Emotionally this can really do a number on people to, I know because I used to do this to myself! I’m so happy I can say USED TO!!!

Check out our home made pierogies! I loved them and am excited to try this recipe again!

The Recipe

2 cups Gluten Free Flour Mix
Salt to taste
1/4 cup EVOO
1 large egg
1/4 cup Lactose Free Greek Yogurt
1/4 cup warm water
Add more water slowly as required

Mix the ingredients together, we used a dough hook in our kitchen aid mixer for ease.

Add flour to your counter before rolling out the dough. We used a large glass to make our circles. We added the old cheddar and bacon to the dough before adding the potatoes. Next time I would mix the cheese and bacon with the potatoes simply for ease! A little goes a long way!

Once you have the pierogies ready, drop them into boiling water. Once they float move them over to a medium-hot frying pan to brown to taste!

Top with your favourite toppings and enjoy!