Canada’s NEW Food Guide

Have you seen the newest Canada’s Food Guide?!

I honestly feel like we are taking a step back and in SUCH a good way!!! I remember when I was a child, mom baked anything she could, both my parents enjoyed cooking real food (and still do) and we regularly had family dinners (still do). This is something I feel our “busy world” has lost touch with. So many people are concerned with being here, there and everywhere, keeping up with this and that or perhaps more common making excuses of why they “don’t have time” to make real food or that eating healthy is so expensive so they choose “convenience” an option that requires much less thought and unfortunately with junk food prices sometimes less cost as well!

So many children are growing up with expecting immediate gratification… drive thru’s, vending machines, electronic devices etc… when they dont get it they get upset. It’s about shifting our thinking, for parents and children.

Personally, I am LOVING our new Canada’s Food Guide! Putting emphasis on eating REAL food, mindful eating, cooking meals in your home, enjoying your food – actually tasting it, enjoy food with others, look at labels, limiting sodium, sugar and saturated fats, and be aware of food marketing.

As our children enjoy being in the kitchen the marketing thing is something we’ve talked about lately… especially how hard the processed foods and high sugar drinks are pushed! One way to shift this is seeing something packaged and brainstorming to find a healthier version of it that we could make at home, which also cuts down on package waste as well. Something we are also becoming much more mindful of!

Nutrition is a big part of being healthy. Much like toxins and chemicals in our cleaning, beauty and over the medical products there are many toxins and “bad stuff” in processed foods. Its truly a slippery slope. One our family fell into quite a few times buying boxed processed foods to have “just in case” or for “busy” nights… That’s a crock!

Honestly. YOU have the ultimate choice and you DO have the time you need… you just may need to prepare ahead of time or think outside of the box!

I am SO happy to say we haven’t bought a box of “chicken fingers” since January 2017… I remember this because it’s when I did my cleanse. A huge turning point for our family! Now when we have chicken fingers they are home made and it’s a fun evening in the kitchen!!!

We love adding flavour to our foods with our essential oils and low sodium spice mixes! I’ve even found with some commercial spice mixes I have reactions to various ingredients so I’m mindful what comes into the house! With PCOS it is related to Diabetes so I also have to be aware of sugar intake as well. Brain health is also a key factor in our home and one we consider with all our meals and drinks!

Its SO worth it!!! Healthy IS simple!!!
The other thing I’ve noticed… when you eat healthy and hydrate properly with water… you actually end up eating less! 👊

It’s also very important to eat for YOUR health. Everyone’s bodies are different. Personally I cannot eat any reheated starches… potatoes, rice, pasta… now that I know and understand this, I plan accordingly! Last night we had sausages from our local butcher with veggies, salad and left over potatoes. I used to be very upset with my body for “doing this to me”… but in reality its provided me a much more mindful way of living, eating and meal planning for myself and my family! So they enjoyed the potatoes and I had more veggies and salad!

Plus… just because you are eating healthy doesn’t mean you cannot eat out at restaurants anymore! You just choose to be mindful and conscious about where and what you choose to eat! Perhaps choosing a local restaurant vs fast food or a healthier fast food option if that is your choice! It’s also about everything in moderation! I do still eat take out, however its selective, as healthy as possible and I prepare. One way I do that is by using my health supplements to support my digestion. It’s taken me years to get my gut to where it is healthy now, it’s not something I take for granted anymore!

Check out the new guide below! I am a big fan!

From the globe and mail…
This version has caught up with scientific evidence on diet and health. Here’s why.

Easy to understand. The guide’s dietary recommendations aren’t complicated. Eat a variety of healthy foods each day. Have plenty of fruits and vegetables. Eat protein foods. Choose whole-grain foods. Make water your drink of choice.

Whole foods, not nutrients. The Food Guide now directs people to whole foods, and has done away with recommending a certain number of daily food-group servings to meet nutrient needs (e.g., calcium from dairy, iron from meat).

No more focus on meat. The decision to replace nutrient-based food groups with groupings of foods (e.g., protein foods versus “Meat and Alternatives”) has removed the emphasis on meat.

Advice on highly processed foods. The revised guide recommends that we don’t eat processed or prepared foods and beverages on a regular basis, to avoid consuming too much added sugar, sodium and saturated fat.

Includes advice on how to eat. Over the past several decades, the way we purchase and prepare foods has dramatically changed. We eat more meals away from home, we spend less time cooking and we eat too many processed, packaged foods.
For the first time, Canada’s Food Guide strongly makes the important point that “healthy eating is more than the foods you eat.” It’s also about the context in which we eat.

Its OK To Ask For Help!

Im not sure why this has been challenging for me.

To ask for help.

To admit that as much as I love being a full time working mom and wife – sometimes I need a break… and that’s ok!

I am and always have been… a planner. Becoming a mom enhanced this trait even more.

Planning out and doing all the renovations to our home. Yes this is something my husband is more than capable of doing. Prior to becoming the HVAC genius that he is and joining our family HVAC and Plumbing business, we had a construction contracting business. So he literally knows a home inside and out… Although he plugged away at alot of our renos – especially as we did them while living here – there were times that paying money for someone else to do it made so much more sense for our own time as a family and his sanity! Well worth every single dollar spent.

Just days before summer holiday’s last year, our plans for the kids literally fell apart. I had to put myself out there and just trust in the process. Trust in the reasoning for what was happening and  trust it was all going to work out. It did, actually even better than what we had anticipated originally for the summer and I am so grateful for that!

However, I worried and fussed… something I really did not need to do! Much like various parts of our life, we tend to spend more time up in our head than actually taking care of or doing what we are thinking about. One of the biggest things I had to let go of, honestly when I became a mom was letting go and being ok with asking for help. I tip toed around this for years, not wanting to be a burden on others or *gasp* admitting I couldn’t do it all…

The reality is NO ONE does it all. No one single person – can do it all in their life and why should they! This is truly how the world goes round! I look forward to every Friday when we have our cleaning ladies come into our home and clean our house. Could I do this myself?! Well yes, I could. But I will be honest I don’t want to. We keep up with the day to day – and let me be honest, not that long ago even that was challenging for me. Being an empath my goodness I suck up all kinds of energy and some days are beyond draining. I love coming home on Friday’s and knowing our home is clean – floors and bathrooms especially! Having kids and a dog this is truly important to me and I had to let go of control and be vulnerable to let someone into my home and clean it…

Now that the kids are older we regularly have family chats or meetings and one evening I was completely honest with the kids and my hubby… mommy is feeling crazy overwhelmed and I simply cannot do all this – meal planning, groceries, cleaning the kitchen, laundry etc myself – nor should I be expected to! This was a couple years ago and ever since I am happy to say that our home life is much more smooth and appreciated.

When I knew our health and home life needed an over haul I took a leap 4.5 years ago and trusted in someone from our community to provide guidance to me where I knew I was lacking – this was how our essential oil journey began and its changed our life. She was patient with me allowing me to expand my mind by researching, figuring out what we truly needed and supporting along the way. This is what I love about sharing oils with other people. Because I know the impact this has had on my life for myself, my kids and my husband and I know the unlimited potential it can have for others as well!

The reality is… no one’s life is perfect – nope no one! That person you think has the best life ever and you want to be like them… has many of their own skeletons in their closet including their own tough times that they may or may not have properly dealt with! Put the judgement aside – to yourself and others. Asking for help is NOT a weakness – its showing your ultimate strength. This world was not created to be lived alone, it was created to live and support each other to BE our own authentic selves. So many people are living day to day – but just barely. In this go-go-go busy social world now it is even more crucial to slow down and reflect. Especially to set an example for the next generation – our kids!

Focus on you.

If you need help doing that – seek out someone who can assist you. Somethings that have personally helped me…

  • Remove toxins from my life – people and things
  • Essential Oils – Quality matters I personally recommend doTERRA
  • Holistic Health – removing toxins from our home
  • Healthy Eating – real food
  • Proper Hydration with Water
  • Counseling
  • Personal Coaching with Helen Murray
  • Hiring Help within our Home
  • Meditation
  • Reiki and Energy Work
  • Journaling and Daily Gratitude
  • Talking – Being Honest and Authentic
  • Reading
  • Being a Conscious and Awakened Parent to my Children
  • Being a team with my Husband
  • Choosing Happiness and Having Faith above all!

Let go of fear, focus on the journey and you will go places that you never imagined.

Serendipity & Loyal Heart | Colette’s Oracle Cards

I truly find it fascinating how when we are true to our heart, authentic to ourselves, things begin to come into alignment. Whether its eating healthy and feeling good, business decisions, decluttering, relationships or organizing at home.

A favourite resource of mine that I have book marked is Colette’s Online Oracle Card Readings – I truly find them fascinating and today’s was not just thought provoking but also reassuring to always follow my heart and be authentic!

One way I stay close to my true self and raise my vibration is starting my day with positive thoughts and my essential oils! Especially Frankincense which has a permanent place on my desk!

For my highest good, what do I need to know right now?

YOUR CARD FOR THE DAY

SERENDIPITY

OPPORTUNITY ALLIED WITH READINESS; THE AWARENESS OF SYNCHRONICITY; LUCK AND GOOD FORTUNE APPEARING AS SIGNS AND SYMBOLS; A MAGICAL ALIGNMENT OF EVENTS

PROTECTION

Protection message: Perhaps you felt almost certain that serendipitous events were meant to lead to something better. It was supposed to be the perfect business, or that person you gave your heart to was supposed to be “the one”—yet it all fell apart! Consider this: Sometimes synchronicity and serendipity come together to lead you directly into difficulties in order to deliver an important lesson you need to learn before you hit the jackpot. Don’t get caught up in the drama of disappointment. There really is a silver lining in this cloud. Spirit always knows what you need and is guiding you to where you are meant to go. Pay attention to the signs presented to you.

WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO KNOW?

NOT FOR YOU

A CLEAR KNOWING THAT SOMETHING IS BEING DENIED YOU; “REJECTION IS GOD’S PROTECTION.”

PROTECTION

Protection message: Don’t chase after what flees from you. Don’t obsess over what eludes you. Don’t bang your head against the wall. There is nothing romantic about what is unavailable, no prize given for torturing yourself, and nothing to be gained by refusing to see the red flags that have been waving since you began your pursuit. Now is the time to walk away. There are other goals, other loves, other games, other successes waiting for you. The way out of obsessing is radical acceptance and surrender. Spirit wants only the best for you. This is a sign that you have something much better waiting for you. Trust.

WHERE IS THIS GOING?

LOYAL HEART

FIDELITY; LOYALTY; DEVOTION

GUIDANCE

The Oracle’s message: Evidence of loyalty will appear in your life. Others will prove they are faithful to you, and you will in turn commit fully to them. There is a sure and abiding certainty in your heart. Know that Spirit is always loyal to you. No matter the outer circumstances in your life, trust and have faith, for you are eternally loved, always Divinely protected and Divinely directed. 

Relationship message: Your partnerships, friendships, and romantic relationships all have many qualities in common right now. Honest devotion, faithfulness, and a loyal heart are being shown to you. Are you as loyal in return? Now is the time for heartfelt commitments and trusting in Divine Protection. 

Prosperity message: Your long-term loyalty to your goals is becoming evident in the world of conditions, where your aspirations for success assume form in reality. Success is finally taking shape. If you are loyal to your dreams, faithful to your plans while remaining flexible, and devoted to serving others, you will be shown proof of your true prosperity. This is a time for a joyful celebration of Spirit, your manifesting partner.

How I broke free from being a prisinor of my body! | PCOS + Hypothyroidism + Mental Health

Hearing the word “infertility” at 23 was heart breaking. I turned inward, felt completely alone and really began to resent my body.

I continuously asked myself WHY!?

Why me? Why us? Are we not deserving of a family? I am not going to be a mom?

I began to resent my health, my body, the people around me who ‘didn’t understand’, all those who were getting pregnant with no issues and even my husband.

I felt broken.

I didn’t truly grasp this *new* life I should have begun living until many years after we were blessed with two beautiful babies.

We were blessed with two children 17 ¾ months apart – our daughter was actually due exactly 18 months after our son was born and arrived a week early.

I struggled as a woman and new mom. I experienced depression, anxiety, overwhelm and my body was still very much out of control with very little medical help to “figure out” what was going on and why. I just wanted answers and no one could give them to me. My body even knew it was done after the doctors suggested pill after pill after pill and my body was DONE with it! It being synthetic medications trying to “trick my body”.

In 2011 I finally said ENOUGH!

Enough of the pain and discomfort I was experiencing on a daily basis. I opted for a hysterectomy and looking back was one of the best decisions I made. Although it did not take away my PCOS symptoms I was finally experiencing *some* relief.

In 2014 I finally said I AM WORTHY.

Worthy of living a healthy and happy life. Free from pain, depression, isolation, and free to be ME! I am worthy of INVESTING in myself of products that help my body vs harming and TIME for self care.

I have PCOS. I live a PCOS lifestyle. I also have Hypothyroidism, Endometriosis, IBS and I also live an ADHD lifestyle.

All medication free.

Medication and drugs, from my experience, are NOT the answer. I was diagnosed back in 2005 and still these articles that are being posted in 2018 – 13 years later – are that Doctors still know very little about PCOS. They knew even less back when I was diagnosed. Actually not many people did which led to me feeling even more alone and isolated. When I told them what I have I got blank stares, “are you sure”, “just work out more and eat less”, and the common from my doctors… “you are in the normal range”… Bullshit!

Its an invisible HORMONAL ILLNESS that affects a woman’s mind and body.

Based on *MY* personal experience, Ive been able to reverse my PCOS symptoms as well as my Hypothyroidism symptoms, IBS, endometriosis etc by making healthier changes in my life! Ive even rose above depression and massive anxiety.

I say this with complete respect to all women out there. I know how it feels. I know what infertility feels like. The weight gain, irritability, insomnia, worry. The pain, anger, feelings of being alone, broken, detached and the low places it can take you. Feeling misunderstood and even questioning if this is really real.

As much as I do support modern medicine… Ladies let me give you this food for thought… Its a HORMONAL illness. There are SO many endocrine disruptors in the products many of us use every single day. By simply making healthier choices in MY life – natural deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, soap, lotion, products we use for our mental and physical health, cleaners in our home, laundry detergent, air fresheners… many commercial products contain very harmful ingredients which contribute to our symptoms getting worse, our physical and mental health deteriorating.

Think of the most common foods in grocery store – pre-packaged, full of preservatives, dyes, various chemicals, “flavours”… The “cleaners” marketed to us to ensure we have a clean and fresh smelling home are filled with toxins damaging our mental and physical health.

Everything you put IN and ON your body affects it. <3

Ladies… GET EXCITED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR HEALTH!!! Truly invest time and energy into getting to know YOUR body and challenges. You WILL become stronger I promise you that!

A huge part of my success was believing in the choices I made. Allowing SELF CARE to be a priority in my life – above everything else! Self care before my children, husband, business, friends, life… Committing to ME. In October 2017 I joined some doTERRA sisters at an Elite Retreat. At this retreat we were literally ripped open. We cried, we hugged, we laughed, we ate good food! I left that retreat more committed to ME than I ever had been.

In 2018 I dedicated to SELF CARE!

In 2018 I committed to investing in me with a personal coach, expanding my mind with books, meditations, reiki energy work and journaling… but most of all trusting in this journey through life. A true shift in mindset from – why is this happening to me, to what is this meant to teach me and how can I grow from here. An ongoing conscious daily practice to be my best self, first for me, then for my kids and husband and the other pieces of our life. I do pushed myself to dig deep. To truly bring to the surface pain from many years ago that had been buried quite deep. Pain that was actually preventing me from being my best self. To truly forgive – for me – and move forward in my life. To live in truth and happiness. Regardless of outside influences.

In my life I choose Balance.
I chose to “have my cake and eat it too”… on the odd occasion.
I eat real food every single day, even some of our fav’s like chips and dip – but much healthier and so yummy.
Ive chosen strengthening my body with Yoga and am adding in weights.
I enjoy my wine.
I value my downtime.
I love and appreciate water.

I knew if I put too many restrictions on me OR too many “to-do’s” I would set myself up for failure – instead Ive created my ideal life of living healthy for me and its worked beautifully as a working mama! And ladies let’s be real… its committing to YOU – each and every single day! As much as I used to hope there would just be a quick fix and I would be fine… its consciously being aware every single day. Being truly authentic to you.

Invest in TIME to EDUCATE yourself. Be proud to stand up for YOUR belief’s and simply BE YOU! If you don’t know who the real YOU is… its time for a deep dive!

What I’ve learned is my body was not punishing me, it was directing me into a healthier version of how I live at my absolute best – for my mind, body and soul.

A ME who I am so PROUD of!
Someone who knows her worth, value and is grateful for everyone and thing in my life. Who is more patient, empathetic and understanding – most of all to myself. Aligned with being truly authentic and surrounding myself with like minded people. And most of all understand that my body is not the enemy, my body is a blessing and the baby steps I took to get here was 1000% worth every second and dollar!

What is your morning routine? 🤔
I will admit it’s taken time to get myself into a morning routine that works for me… 16 days into the new year and it’s still going strong! 🙌
Self care is a HUGE part of my routine! So much so it’s pretty much automatic now!👊

✔ Wake up
✔ Drink water

✔ Meditation

✔ Morning journal
✔ A Course in Miracles daily morning reading
✔ Oils in the diffuser in our main living area
✔ Shower and get dressed
✔ Oils on me – whatever is calling to me in the moment
✔ Supplements for me and the kids
✔ Tidy up the kitchen after breakfast and lunches

I am SO excited to see where 2019 will take me on this journey!!! 🤗

If you are ready to take control – naturally – PM me.
There is a better way!

Master Your Metabolism

For years I was dependent on the medical system and yet continually felt in pain, discomfort, stuck, unmotivated, tired all the time, unhealthy, over weight etc… After having our two miracle babies I began to sink even deeper – my hormones truly were a mess! After realizing being on the birth control pill had hid many of my significant health issues I was ashamed, sad, unhappy, hopeless and hated my body. After our daughter was born and my body began to “settle” into its new self is when I truly began to realize I had to make this a priority – which was tough because PCOS – Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome was simply not talked about or known – yes and that was only just over 14 years ago!

I know what its like to feel completely messed up and not know whats wrong or what to do. Its both sad and scary at the same time because you look normal, you look like nothing is wrong and yet inside you feel blah – for a better choice of words. Which is why Ive chosen to be completely authentic and even vulnerable to share with you and help other women and mom’s like me to love themselves and their bodies again!

I am running an event in my online Facebook community called – “Master Your Metabolism!” Its about educating other women, mostly other moms like me, on truly gaining control of YOUR health and choosing to be healthy and happy!

Its simple really (yes I can say this now since Ive been through it) – supporting your body with hydration, minerals and nutrients to support optimal health while also being more consciously aware of what you are eating and doing. Doing is a big part of this, doing the work to BE more at ease and in peace with your true self. This journey after all is about YOU and who YOU want to be, strive to be and know YOU want to be! Its not just taking supplements and using oils, its making a conscious decision to BE in your life. Which yes also means dealing with any sh*t from your past, as trust me this is also holding you back – physically and emotionally.
Choosing to be healthier, happier and being healthier and happier.

A few other ways I do this on top of taking my supplements daily and using my oils is being more conscious and mindful about life. As my previous post states, not allowing the opinions of others to drown out my own inner voice. Doing the personal development work, reading a book, exercise (I love yoga!), journal, getting out in nature, meditation, reiki… whatever helps your mind slow down and be calm. Its all intertwined together <3

Becoming strong to rise above any negativity – whether its people, places or things. When it all comes down to it… its “stuff” and far too often we allow other people’s “stuff” to cloud our own self.

If this feels of interest to you and you aren’t yet working with someone in doTERRA (we are each our own individual businesses) and are ready to purchase the highest quality essential oils and supplements for your family check out the link below to get started… https://www.mydoterra.com/pamelazmija/#/. Have any questions ? Yes please reach out, that is what I am here for!


Your Own Inner Voice

Your own inner voice is powerful, when you allow it to be heard. When you silence yourself and be open to receiving the message.

It can however become silenced by the opinions of others. We begin to second guess ourself or our purpose or our intention and become stagnant.

Set the ego aside, as A Course In Miracles states “recognition and meaningless arouse intense anxiety in all separated ones.”

“It is essential, therefore, that you learn to recognize the meaningless, and accept it without fear.”

Many times in our life it is our ego which is creating our fear. When we drown our own own inner voice we become unclear, confused and lost from our true self.

I began reading A Course In Miracles on January 1, 2019. I’ve been on a personal development journey the past few years and after my personal coach told me about this book, and it sat on my shelf for months, it was time to get started.

For those of you wondering what A Course In Miracles is…

A Course in Miracles (also referred to as ACIMor the Course) is a 1976 book containing a curriculum which claims to assist its readers in achieving spiritual transformation. The underlying premise of the work is the teaching that the greatest “miracle” that one may achieve in one’s life is the act of simply gaining a full “awareness of love’s presence” in one’s own life.[1] Course in Miracles (also referred to as ACIMor the Course) is a 1976 book containing a curriculum which claims to assist its readers in achieving spiritual transformation. The underlying premise of the work is the teaching that the greatest “miracle” that one may achieve in one’s life is the act of simply gaining a full “awareness of love’s presence” in one’s own life.[1] (Source https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Course_in_Miracles)

My own summary of the book in a few words… it resets your brain! No matter your age, we begin to take on the opinions of others as truths, even when they are not. We can begin to think that material items are more important than relationships with people and animals and this can actually spiral into a cycle of unhappiness, poor health, debt, unhealthy eating, numbing pain, unhealthy relationships etc.

ACIM helps us to be more consciously aware of ourself, our surroundings and what truly really matters. To reset the brain and learn to love and trust your own inner voice vs what others may have or be telling you.

We all have a different and unique path in life, no one person can say what is right for me, you or them. Unless you go within. You, deep down in your heart and soul know what is right for you and once you acknowledge that you will be on your true path for happiness and success.

Happiness is something we are all born with. For many its lost along the way and we think that a person or thing will help us to rediscover what “being happy” really is.

Its true inner peace and gratitude. Choosing to BE happy. Choosing to feel and allow your emotions to pass through you. To let them flow so you are always growing, vs feeling stagnant which can be so easy to do.

Think of when someone says something to you, that you know is not true to your heart and soul, yet you play it over in your mind again and again, giving the other persons words… power. Your power you’ve now just given away to someone who doesn’t know or chooses to not know or understand YOUR path in life.

Set the fear aside. Allow your children to know that their voice matters, their opinion matters, their feelings matter – within their own words. Allowing them to Express themselves with no fear, judgement or influence of how they “should” feel or act. Teaching them to honor their own inner voice and to be strong in who they are.

As Dr Shefali says, “we cannot control anyone, least of all our children”.

To support our children in furthering developing their own inner voice, we encourage our children to seek answers. Not just because we “say so”. Instilling them with their own personal power and knowing we will always be here to guide them with love.

A favourite quote of my own that sits on my computer as a daily reminder…

“Don’t let the noise of others opinions, drown out your own inner voice”

A great example is when we began using essential oils. I kept things on the down low for a bit because it was “out of the norm” however I never allowed anyone to negatively impact MY choice of how I was going to better my health and my family’s health. Now 4.5 years later I am the healthiest I have ever been, we are simplifying our life daily, growing together as well as within ourselves and truly loving our space we call home. As someone who has struggled with what other people think, I am finally taking back my own personal happiness and am on the road to personal discovery… one of THE best path’s in life!

If you feel you do not have time for listening to your inner voice… I would be happy to chat with you – because this used to be me and I was the one who needed it most.

Love and light, Pam

2019 | Authenticity

As the new year began I thought of what I would like to focus on, personally, for this year. A word which invoked great emotion, but also peace, contentment and an area of growth that I could push myself to. A word that I knew would come to me in time, when right.

AUTHENTICITY

A word I have been quoting for at least the last month of how important it is to be truly Authentic to myself and surrounding myself with others who also are truly Authentic to themselves.

Then it hit me… this is exactly what my word is for 2019!

Why does this word stand out for me?!

Authenticity is the quality of being Authentic; genuiness.

The meaning of “Authentic” sums it up beautifully for me…

  1. Not false or copied; genuine; real
  2. Having an origin supported by inquestionable evidence; authenticated; verified
  3. Representing ones true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified
  4. Entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy:
  5. Law executed with all due formalities

Authentic, Genuine, Real, Veritable share the sense of actuality and lack falsehood or misrepresentation. Authentic carries the connotation of authoritative confirmation that things or people are what they are claimed to be: an authentic Rembrandt sketch; an authentic smile. Genuine refers to objects or persons having the characteristics or source claimed or implied: a genuine ivory carving. Real, the most general of these terms, refers to innate or actual – as opposed to ostensible – nature or character: in real life, plans often miscarry. A real diamond will cut glass. Veritable, derived from the Latin word for truth, suggests the general truthfulness but not necessarily the literal or strict correspondence with reality of that which it describes; it is often used metaphorically: a veritable wizard of finance. (Source http://www.dictionary.com)

This word completely resonates with my heart, soul and mind. Being true to myself and teaching the little’s in our life the same – being true and comfortable within themselves of who their heart and soul is.

Being Authentic means being real, truthful, surrounding myself with like minded people and truly enjoying the time spent with them. It also means being truly comfortable within myself and enjoying quiet time spent alone or in silence with others. Progress always vs perfection <3

Parenting Without Expectations

A couple months ago I came across a video of Oprah and Dr Shefali. It began playing after a video I had chosen to watch. It was a thought provoking, inspiring, revolutionary video. So much in fact that after I listened to it that day at lunch, I listened again in the evening and again when I came across another one of her posts this morning.

The very first thing that jumped out at me was when Dr Shefali stated… “Parenting without expectations…” .

She and Oprah talked about how we when feel challenged we need to think of it as an opportunity for our own revolution. To help parents reclaim their lost selves so that they can meet the spirit of the child, who is whole, complete and abundant.

Parenting does not have to be hard. However when we have lost the joy in parenting – it does become hard. So many parents themselves feel uncomplete, not worthy, lesser than or broken and yet have not touched on their own inner sense of empowerment and worth.

How can we raise our children to their greatest expression if we haven’t found our own <– TRUTH!!!

As a parent Dr Shefali recommends that we no longer see our children as an extention of who we are because when we do that we unleash our own emotional baggage (that we didn’t properly deal with) onto our children, unknown to them!

Being conscious – moment to moment basis – is being authentic to our true selves. If we do not then the ego enters – the parenting paradigm, as Dr Shefali explains, is set up for the most boost (for the parent) to their ego… “my child” as a possession.

I love how Dr Shefali explains, the universe gives you children, yes they are you’rs however they are not you – they are their own person.

Children can allow us, as parents, so much spiritual growth – IF we are open to it! Go deep within yourself to reclaim your lost self – you had it once.

Dr Shefali explains that many parents have “drank the parenting koolaide” and by this she explains all the myths of parenting and how fear then begins to rule the relationship and how it turns out – this however is not fear of the child it is fear of our own destiny.

We had children to fulfill something within ourself.

Oprah added in… Let go of expectations you have for your child. The problem is society and culture says we can put our expectations on our children and thats ok – however its not ok because this then becomes control.

Parents need to be consciously aware of every choice they make and what they put on their child.

As a parent we can open the door, however we need to instill in our children that THEY have the choice to walk through the door.

Kids are themselves. The state of childhood is what many adults cannot do – living in the present even if that means being messy or getting dirty. This also contributes to children being labeled, which when people label children as “busy”, “bad”, “unable to do…” this is merely for control. When adults think they have no control, children are labeled more. Do away with labels of good/bad and otherwise. Work and connect with the child and follow their lead without any influence from their parent.

Parenting Myth’s by Dr Shefali

  1. Parenting we have been told is about raising the child.
    You cannot raise a child until you, yourself has been parented and you raise yourself to your highest evolution. We put lack on children that we feel we are lacking in our life. Allow the child to develop to their highest good what their spirit needs. Parenting is not selfless. The driving force to have a child comes from something within you to complete. Culture is not outside of us. Parenting is not about the child – its about you! Raise yourself first. Aspire for your child to be who THEY are – not you! Then you will be attuned to your child and make space for the spirit of your child to unfold.  (20min)
  2. A successful child is ahead of the curve.   
    School… sports – cranking the pressure – the mad delusion we are doing this for our child is the mad success WE feel as parents that our children need – purpose, happiness etc. You are pushing the child further from their authentic self into a world of “doing” vs “being”.
    Will my child fall behind if we allow them to BE a child vs pushing them to do this and that etc…  (21min) Its creating anxiety in our society for the parents and children. When we think we have control we project lack onto our children.
  3. Good parents are naturals.
    “God gave these children to me, so I am the expert, I don’t need to be told, I know whats right I don’t need anyone to tell me, its my child I tell them what to do and they do what I want.” Is the belief of many parents. The universe sends this being to you to reacquaint to what it is being a child yourself, to enter the present moment and enter your full on presence. The more children you have does not mean they are coming to you because you are a powerful being, they are coming to you to teach you what you need to learn… We don’t have power over any other being in our life – especially our children. They are their own individual selves. Society says – this is your child so you know your child and can do with it what you want. This however is the delusion many parents believe because they want the “power”. We need to invite parents into the moment of presence.

    Love your kid a bit less, because the love is messing them up.
    Raise a child who is firmly rooted in who THEY are !
  4. A good parent is a loving one.
    All you need is love… we have alot of messed up kids from great families. Love is blind. Its not unconditional, you are so consumed by feeling the need to feel loved back – for you! Love without consciousness becomes need, dependency, control in the name of love – that’s not healthy “but I love you”, I do this because I love you. Spend ridiculous amounts of money on kids isn’t showing them love. Loving consciously is not expecting anything back. Parenting becomes easier and a part of who you are, gracefully move into it vs pushing against or trying to prove something. We are making it harder on ourselves. We aren’t opening the door to our own freedom! It takes time to be an involved parent… so many people (society) says who has time… let go of your ego, the “should have”, and surrender. Our children are teaching us. It’s the most profound and easy invitation – understand in these terms. A moment by moment presence. Parenting can become a part of who you are, when you are in the flow with your child vs trying to prove something and hold the “control”. Let go of the script of what you think your child needs to be or do and enter the child’s as is.

    “Love without consciousness becomes need, dependency and control.” Shefali Tsabary
  5. Parenting is about raising a happy child.
    Our children don’t need to become happy, life is to be experienced as it presents itself. Engagement with life is happiness – fully engagement.  The pursuit of happiness – makes people think its their “right” to be happy. It is our sacred obligation to teach our children not to run away from life as it is, if they are upset about a friend and being rejected, teach them about rejection and loving themselves. Many people were taught to split from or ignore pain but not to enter or acknowledge it. When our child is upset we get anxious and we want to fix everything for them. Allow children to FEEL their feelings – the parent is not the one to be in control of this. Teaching children this is pivotal. There is no ownership for our children’s spirit, they are their own authentic self. We need to nurture our children to be who THEY are – not who we are or who we want them to be. Parents thinking they need to be in complete control is an uber myth.

What is the role of the parent – the true job of the parent…

  1. Commit to a moment to moment basis. What of this is from my own self or my own unresolved issues. What does this moment reflect about me? We can choose to go inward or we go outward and this is when it is projected with control.
  2. You have control over the conditions you create in your home. For example screen time for kids – you as the parent can instill healthy limits and boundaries for screen time for your child.

Children are given to us from the universe to bring ourselves as parents to a heightened level of consciousness. Children are here to make us a better, more conscious being – IF we are open to that. For children then to become their highest self as well.


Be an expression of your space

This week my creations arrived! I have been staring st blank walls in my space for far too long… it’s time (especially as a lifestyle photographer) to get some images and more memories up on our walls! This is just the beginning…

I went BIG!!!

For my office at the shop the canvas print is 30×40″ behind my desk. It’s the first thing I see when I walk into my office – eve when my desk has piles of paperwork and cards… phew I like a breath of fresh air!!!

Sitting st my desk and looking out… I also have a pretty fantastic view!

This image was originally printed with the intention of it hanging out in our basement… it however was destined for so much more 😉! It now hangs just outside my office at the shop and in my direct sight when I look up from my desk!

I envisioned the most beautiful landscape scene for both and once I had the trail hanging I knew exactly the image to grace the other wall. I love it so much… it’s the same large as life inspiring image creation in my office at home!

A beautiful 36×48″ canvas that instantly fills my heart and soul with inspiration to create, be productive and when frustration hits… to breathe and be still.

When Life Happens

It’s ok to admit that we aren’t perfect or that we made a mistake… as adults it can feel harder to admit that but to our kids… its HUGE !

Huge to hear that yes Mommy made a mistake or had a tough moment during the day… but both are fixable and its OK!

I arrived home the other night and the first thing my son said to me when he looked at me was “What’s wrong?!” – Kids are SO smart!

Well as it turns out his intuition was bang on… his mama had not one but a few frustrating moments and rather than saying nothing or don’t worry, whatever else or pushing the kids away, I said to both the kids “you know what I’m feeling very frustrated right now because…” I of course kept it kid appropriate (it was anyway) and explained in terms they would understand.

It was all fixable, but very frustrating for me! Especially when time is precious and all frustrations involved significant time on my part.

So I was honest with the kids. Yup feeling super frustrated and you know what? I instantly felt better AND it didn’t affect the kids in any negative way. Actually in all honestly I feel it had a positive effect on them… even mommy makes mistakes and that’s ok!

I went to bed after writing in my journal, feeling grateful for everyone in my life and what I’ve been blessed with and that tomorrow would be a new day…

It totally was!

I was up at the crack of dawn… worrying! Worrying about the previous day frustrations and how things would work out. I could feel myself getting tense and angry. I knew it wasn’t going to help me so I began to turn it around… positive talk that everything was going to work out… and you know what?! It totally did!!!

I got to work feeling relief of getting through that process but still slightly frustrated but honestly more optimistic with what I knew I had to fix… turns out we were able to fix it much simpler than originally thought! Tied up some other loose ends, you know the ones that are small but get put on the to-do list and literally begin to feel like a great big weight themselves… yup cleared off a bunch of those and figured out a computer technical issue!

All in all a MUCH better day, that I chose that I was going to have and did!!!

It made me feel SO good to tell the kids how much better my day was!!! Especially when they saw and could feel (my energy) yesterday. Do I tell my kids everything that pisses me off?! Hell no! There are clearly kid appropriate topics and ways to talk to them and share that I was frustrated. My biggest reason for embracing this with them the other night is because I remember being a kid/teen and being so hard on myself, my kiddos are much like their mama. If I can help my kids embrace the fact that every day, any situation or relationship will have its ups and downs, good times and challenges, in a kid friendly way, you bet your booty I’m going to do that!

Everyone makes mistakes, has frustrating moments… but you know what I’ve learned. The more you try to control that outcome, control the way you think things should happen… the least control you have. When you are simply open and grateful for whatever life throws at you, thinking of those frustrating moments as a learning experience… wow incredible!

Think large. Teach kids to rise above small minded talk. You know the kind, that others gossip about thinking they know you or the situation or sometimes worse, your own self talk! Teach kids they have a voice, opinion and they are welcome, as the next generation to experience and learn!

I am so thankful for our growth experience this week. I am so thankful for our two littles I get to help raise in this world! 🙌💖🙏🦋

Your Life As Art Photography by Pam

Artist & Intuitive | Pamela Zmija

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